Three Dirty Secrets (Blindfold Club 4)

“What?”

“He thought I was an agent, so you must have told him.” Silas turned and his hard expression sent my heart plummeting.

“That was completely different. We met when I was rehabbing from the gunshot. Matt didn’t have any ties to the club.”

Silas coursed a hand through his hair, leaving it disheveled. “You should have fucking told me.”

“I couldn’t.”

The fire of anger burned brighter in his eyes. “Yeah, you really could have.”

Even though I was woozy and still hooked up to the monitoring machines, I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and stood upright. I wasn’t as tall as him, but this was as close to equal as I could get. “I’m telling you that I couldn’t, Silas. The last man I cared about, when I told him who I really was, he fucking shot himself in the head.” I steadied a hand on the bed rail. “So forgive me for having some anxiety about telling you the truth.”

The fire subsided slightly and his expression softened. “Regan.”

“I wanted to tell you so bad. It’s such a huge part of who I am, but, Christ. I had to finish my op first. So even if you left, at least I’d have . . . something.”

Silas pressed his lips together and tore his gaze away from me, staring vacantly off. I was desperate to know what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You’ve every right to be pissed.”

His voice was harsh. “You don’t get to tell me how to feel.”

I flashed back to the night in my apartment after I’d been betrayed by Matt. Hadn’t we had the same exchange? I stared at the cold tile beneath my feet.

“I can’t believe you kept it from me. Is that it?” Silas demanded. “Anything else you want to unload?”

I sagged back to sit on the bed, shivering in the thin hospital gown. “Bennett wouldn’t come to the club unless I got on the table.”

All the air burst out of Silas like he’d been punched. “You fucked him?”

“No, no! I had Payton negotiate the deal and then I backed out. That’s when it all went to shit, and Julius came in to save me.”

Silas took in the red ligature marks on my wrists, and his cold gaze worked its way up to meet mine. “He could have raped you. He almost killed you. You made that decision without including me, because if I’d known, I never would have let you do it.”

It was all true. My voice was shot, but it was just as much my emotions as it was the physical trauma. “I’m sorry.”

It was brutal under his harsh stare. The ball of guilt in my stomach had grown so large I couldn’t even swallow anymore. There wasn’t room for anything else. Silas returned to his frantic pacing, his footsteps the only sound. The tension was suffocating.

I couldn’t put it off any longer. “Also, my name.”

He froze, sensing what was coming. “Don’t.”

“It’s not Regan Wilson, it’s Andrea Adams. Regan’s my middle name.”

The room was colder than a blast freezer, and I shivered under his gaze. It was filled with disbelief. Or maybe disgust.

“Goddamnit!” He kicked the trash can. It slid across the floor and slammed into the glass door with a loud crack. The guard was in the room in an instant, but I threw a hand out, gesturing to stop.

“It’s fine,” I whispered to the guard.

He glanced warily at Silas, then back to me for more confirmation. Silas returned to his angry pacing, not giving any attention to either of us. He looked too lost in thought. The guard hesitantly returned to his post.

“Please,” I eked out. “Keeping this from you has been one the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” He only continued his pacing, making me feel like I was going to lose it at any moment. “Say something.”

His expression turned to stone. “You said you gave your card to one of Bennett’s aides. Is it why you came to my showing?”

I struggled to answer. “It . . . was one of the reasons.”