I told him about the stupid mistake and how I was doing it to save my job. I left out the part where I’d gone down on Joseph minutes after meeting him.
“It’s just a job,” Blake said. “You can get another.”
“No, I can’t, not in Chicago. Agencies talk to each other. I know where my coworkers came from and whether they left by choice or not.” I despised how shaky my voice was.
Other than a rude boss, it was my dream job, and I loved living in the city. I loved walking in a herd with other business professionals on blustery Chicago winter mornings, and escaping into an air-conditioned cab after bar hopping with Payton on steamy summer nights.
“I’ll be a senior designer by the end of the year, if not sooner,” I continued. “Even if I could go somewhere else, I’d be starting from the bottom.”
“There’s got to be another way.”
“Sure, you’ve got ten grand I can borrow?” I asked, bitterly. “It’ll only take me a decade to pay it back.”
His face changed to shock. “Jesus, it’s that much?”
I nodded, grim. “Look, I’ll be fine. It’s just sex. It’s not any worse than going home with some random guy. It’s actually safer.”
“Except you don’t do that.”
No, I didn’t. I’d never had a one-night stand. I hadn’t seen the appeal of doing something so intimate and then never speaking to them again. “Well, I guess I do now.”
He glanced over my shoulder to the window of the restaurant. Then he closed the space between us, pulling me in his arms. I shut my eyes, set my cheek against his chest, and allowed it to happen without feeling guilty. I listened to the steady, quick thud of his heartbeat.
“Please don’t do this,” he begged.
“I’m sorry,” was all I could say.
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
He pulled back, his golden eyes cloudy and dark. “Where?”
The rational part of my brain screamed not to tell him. Nothing good could come from him knowing, but I would do almost anything for him.
I told him the address. He squeezed me into a hug and brushed his lips over my forehead, the closest he could get to kissing me where I felt like he wasn’t cheating on her. I pretended my heart wasn’t hurting the rest of the night. When it was time to head home, he pulled me aside.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.
chapter
THREE
Payton pulled away from the curb and didn’t speak until we hit the traffic on Lake Shore Drive.
“Tomorrow, are you still—?” she asked.
“Yes.” It came out tight.
“You would have told him eventually,” she said. “You tell him everything. At least he got his chance to talk you out of it.”
“Oh, so that’s why you did it?”
“No.” She slammed on the brakes to keep from rear-ending the cab that cut her off. “I told him because he only wants you when he can’t have you. I thought you two were just friends.”
I’d downed my beer quickly and had loose lips. “You’re kind of being a bitch right now.”
She took her eyes off the road for a split second so she could lock them on me. “True, but you deserve so much better than that douchebag. You should be someone’s first choice, not an option they keep open on the side.”