I draw in a sharp breath and push the bad thoughts away. Dating Ash Carter is a great idea. He is a wonderful guy with a heart that’s made of freaking gold. Right now we’re standing in the construction beginnings of a house that Ash bought for his parents with his new racing money. In a world where most guys would rather buy exotic sports cars and fund kegs at frat parties, it doesn’t get much more golden than buying your parents a house.
“What will you do with the old house?” I ask, looking for a quick change of subject. My heart already aches twenty-four hours a day for my long distance boyfriend. Thinking about him now, when I’m about to have to face a million motocross fans at the track isn’t the greatest idea.
Shelby snorts. “Throw it in a dumpster?”
“Your house isn’t that small,” I say, eyeing her.
“It feels small now that I’m looking at it through the bones of this new mansion.”
I follow her gaze and see the glow of the porch light illuminating the small mobile home at the front of their land. Shelby and Ash grew up dirt poor, just like I did with my mom. Shelby stands up and walks through the spaces between boards until she’s at the edge of the concrete slab. “Dad says the place isn’t worth anything but the memories we have inside of it. It’s a trailer from the nineteen-eighties which is older than I am.”
“Crazy,” I say, but my heart isn’t in it. I step over a power tool and walk into what will someday be the kitchen.
Shelby follows me, her face glowing from her cell phone. “Jake says he’ll be here in twenty minutes,” she says, sliding the phone back in her pocket. “Are you sure I look okay?”
“Oh my god, you look fine,” I say, not even bothering to look over at her. She’d made me suffer through two hours of primping time before we came over here to grab her cell phone charger and see the progress on their new house. Two. Hours. Shelby’s golden-brown hair is in bouncy, perfectly shaped curls down her back and she wears black and white knitted Christmas leggings with a long black and silver sweater that hugs her curves and somehow manages to be cute even though my stepmom Molly is wearing the same kind of outfit.
Shelby’s makeup is on point, thanks to my makeup skills that have been perfected by hours of YouTube tutorial watching. Turns out there’s only so much a girl can do to occupy herself when her boyfriend is gone most of the time. My freshman college classes are easy, work is usually boring, and my only friend is always hanging out with Jake. I’m happy for her, though. It certainly took them forever to finally start dating.
I, however, am not even close to being in Shelby’s league tonight. Wearing jeans, running toes and a Mixon t-shirt under my Dad’s thick coat, I am practically the Christmas Grinch around here. I didn’t bother to put on so much as some
sparkly lip gloss before I’d left the house earlier and my hair is in a messy bun piled on top of my head. There’s no reason to get all dressed up when it’s freezing cold outside and no one cares to see you anyway.
Soon Jake will come to pick up Shelby and they’ll spend a magical night at the track enjoying all of the holiday activities. I’ll be stuck, working at the track while everyone else has fun. Shelby has Jake, Molly has my dad, and my little brother Teig has his friends. Everyone will spend tonight with the people they care about and I’ll be alone, with only my phone and the pain of having a long distance boyfriend to keep me company.
Merry freaking Christmas.
Chapter 2
Shelby and I are still hanging out in the skeleton house, admiring the stars through the open roof when Jake shows up at exactly the time he’d promised. We watch the headlights of his truck as they pull into the Carter’s long gravel driveway. “I hope you realize how lucky you are to have such a perfect boyfriend,” I say, playfully shoving her in the shoulder as we walk out toward his truck.
“Your boyfriend is . . . perfect too,” she says, making a pretend gagging sound. “I mean he’s my brother so I can’t compliment him too much.”
I kick a rock as we walk. “If he was perfect, he would be here tonight.”
“Hey there,” Jake says, giving us a little wave. He’s wearing the same kind of black jacket that I’d stolen from my dad earlier today and it’s a little embarrassing. “Merry Christmas Eve.
“Hey!” Shelby says, rushing up to him. She throws her arms around his neck and I look away as they kiss. Shelby’s entire demeanor changes when she’s around Jake. It’s cute and sweet and annoying as hell.
“Hey Hana, do you need a ride?” Jake asks and I know he’s just being nice.
I shake my head. “No, thanks. You two go ahead,” I say, pulling my truck keys out of my pocket. “I need to make a phone call.”
I climb into my truck and pretend to be looking for something in the backseat until they drive away, leaving me alone like the Christmas Grinch that I am. It’s almost seven in the evening here, so it’s still five in California. Ash usually gets done training around this time, and normally he would have called me by now. Just another thing to make my heart hurt.
I stare at my phone and scroll to our latest text messages. The last thing he sent me was at eight in the morning. A simple: Good morning. I miss you!
My thumb hovers over the screen, wanting to type something but I’m not sure what. Anything I could send him right now would just make me sound like a complaining girlfriend. But honestly, he doesn’t even seem that bothered that we won’t be spending our first Christmas together. Ugh.
I roll my eyes and tell myself to suck it up. He’s a busy guy—a rookie professional dirt bike racer. He’s so busy he probably hasn’t noticed that he’s only texted me once today. I on the other hand, have all the time in the world to dwell on missing him.
Knowing that I can’t sit in my truck forever because I promised to help with the festivities at the track, I turn up the heater and slide my cell phone back into my pocket. It starts ringing just as I put the truck in reverse. My heart flutters . . . could it be? I park the truck and grab my phone, biting the inside of my lip, knowing that it’s probably Dad or Molly or even Shelby.
Ash’s gorgeous tanned face stares back at me on the phone screen. I smile at his contact picture. “Hello?” I say as I answer the call, trying like hell to sound casual and not like some obsessive girlfriend.
“Hey there,” he says. His voice is like honey and I can hear the smile behind his words. My heart hurts, no matter how much I tell it not to. “I heard someone was missing me.”
“Oh yeah?” I snort. “Wonder who would miss you. I certainly don’t.”