The Wildest Heart

But he took me in his arms just then, and whatever I had been going to say escaped me when he kissed me.

“You’re damn well goin’ to marry me!” he said forcefully after it was over, and I was breathless.

“You’re not being fair!” I wailed, resorting to femininity. “I think I hate you. And I’ll never give in to you! What’s more, I refuse to—to live with a ghost!”

“What in hell are you talkin’ about?” But his tone was almost tender. “Listen, you stubborn, bad-natured female! When are you going to realize I want you? That I’ve been waitin’ God knows how many years for someone like you? You can have all the time you want, just so you wake up to the fact you’re mine. And Goddammit, I mean to have you!”

He caught me in his arms again, hardly allowing me to think.

“You little tease! I know that forward nephew of mine asked you to go to the festivities at Silver City. But I already told him you’re goin’ with me. Hell, he and Flo can come along too, I don’t care! But we’ll make the announcement then.”

“Wait! For goodness’ sake, I haven’t said anything yet! You haven’t allowed me to! Todd Shannon, you are the most exasperating man I have ever had the bad fortune to encounter! You twist my words around and you announce what we will do. And all this time, ever since I’ve known you, in fact, I’ve been trying, yes trying, to convince you that I will not be pushed into anything! Is that perfectly clear?”

Infuriatingly, he smiled at me, pushing his hat back on his head as he let his fingers trail across my mouth and down my neck. “You’ve convinced me, sweetheart. Now look, I’ve got things to do. Only meant to stop by for a minute. But I’ll be comin’ by again soon. An’ you just start planning what you’re goin’ to wear to the ball in Silver City. Want you to knock their eyes out!”

The ball at Silver City.

Even after Todd had left, the thought was sufficient to depress me. What a strange, peculiar situation I found myself in! Todd was so sure of himself, so confident. But what would I do about Mark? And suppose in spite of all the risks he’d be taking, Lucas Cord showed up. Then what? I could only tell myself firmly that I wouldn’t think about it; but my dreams turned into nightmares, as they had done the night before, and I tossed and turned uneasily. Mr. Bragg, my father, Lucas Cord with a hangman’s noose around his neck, his mouth lifting in the bitter, half-mocking smile I remembered so well. They peopled my dreams like ghosts, and the dark rings under my eyes were enough to make Marta exclaim disapprovingly.

“You have not slept well since that night you went to the palacio. And when the patron visits, he always brings trouble!” Her lips pursed themselves sourly. I had already gathered that neither Marta nor her husband had any great love for Todd Shannon.

The question was, what did I feel about him? The story that Mark had told me had subtly altered my reaction to his arrogance and bluster. I began to see him as a lonely man who had deliberately isolated himself, covering his grief and loneliness with a hard veneer. He had loved his first wife. Perhaps he had not loved his second wife, as Flo had stated bitterly. Still, she had been dead a long time, and I was sure he had had the opportunity to marry again if he had wanted to. Why, so suddenly, had he chosen me? And what was I going to say to him?

“So it’s come to that,” Mark said quietly. “I suppose I have known it from the beginning, but I had hoped—” he gave a bitter, self-deprecating laugh. “Well, I suppose Uncle Todd has always had a kind of charisma! He has a way of bending people to his will. Even I have to admit it. I can only hope that you will think very carefully first. Be sure it is really what you want, Rowena.”

“For heaven’s sake, Mark!” I know I sounded irritable, I could not help it. “All I said was that your uncle seems determined to force my hand. I won’t be pushed into marriage, and I told him so.”

“But you have been thinking about it a great deal, haven’t you? You don’t have to answer me. I can tell. Perhaps it is because I love you that I seem to have developed a sensitivity for your moods, the expressions on your face. And I know that he keeps finding all kinds of excuses to keep me busy while he rides over here to visit you.”

“I didn’t know that.” I looked at him seriously, at his dear, kind face, and wished that it could have been Mark whose kisses were capable of making me feel weak and helpless. If I married anyone, it should be Mark, who understood me, and loved me enough to be my friend.

“Oh, Mark! I’m sorry. I—I’ve never met anyone quite lik

e him before, you know! I keep telling myself that he’s old enough to be my father, that he wants to marry me only in order to possess the whole of the SD. I keep telling him that too, but he only laughs and won’t listen. All the same, I won’t marry him. I won’t!”

“But does he know that?”

Our eyes met, and I shrugged helplessly. We were out riding, and to take our minds off Todd Shannon, I said quickly, “How is Flo these days? I haven’t seen her since she came over last week—and that, I’m sure, was only for the purpose of telling me that a woman in my position should be careful of gossip! ‘Everyone knows, after all, that both Mark and my father come here far too often for their visits to be perfectly innocent,’ was exactly the way she put it!”

“Flo is a little cat!” Mark’s face had darkened. “The trouble with her is that she’s been spoiled rotten, and allowed to have far too much of her own way. It’s what started all the trouble in the first place. And even now—well, you know what she’s like! A child-woman. She thinks that all she needs to know is how to bat her eyes at some man and he’ll give her everything.”

“Has she…” I didn’t know why I had to ask the question, but suddenly it had become a compulsion that I must know. And Mark, bless him, understood immediately what I meant, for his tone became serious.

“It’s been worrying me too, because, you see, I just don’t know! I told you my uncle has deliberately kept me very busy of late. Ever since that fence was cut we’ve posted extra guards at all the boundary fences, and I’m supposed to ride out early each morning to inspect them as well, so I’m afraid I have not been able to keep as close an eye on Flo as I promised you I would.”

I frowned, wondering why the thought made me angry. “She could still be meeting him, then. And if she is, it means that he…”

“Might well be hiding out somewhere around here.” Mark finished my sentence for me. “I’ve worried about that too. You’re sure that trapdoor is kept bolted? And the dog is kept loose on the patio?”

I grimaced. “Devil is still a puppy, you know! But he does have a loud bark, and I daresay he’d warn me if he scented any intruders.”

“Still, you promise you’ll always be careful? Don’t ride anywhere by yourself, please.”

I promised him I would not. But Mark’s concern meant, of course, that he thought Lucas Cord was a danger to me. Especially if he continued to meet Flo, for she would certainly have told him of her stepfather’s frequent calls on me. Where would it all end? Or how?

We were to leave for Silver City a week early, and rooms had already been reserved for us all at the same hotel where Governor Wallace and the other dignitaries would be staying.

In spite of myself, I began to get caught up in the preparations for leaving, and even Marta, who had seemed exceptionally quiet of late, began to smile and chatter as she helped me pick out the gowns I would take with me, folding each one very carefully with layers of tissue paper between each fold as I had showed her.