The Wildest Heart

Our relationship was now close to brother and sister, but both of us realized very well the infeasibility of living together in the same house without Flo’s presence as a chaperon. I returned to my little house, and I thought Marta and Jules were glad to see me back, although Maria’s manner remained more formal than it had been before.

The days went by, and I passed them much as I had been used to during the past weeks. It became hotter, although we sometimes saw thunderclouds gather behind the distant mountain peaks.

I was content to keep busy, and yet I was not content. I had the strangest feeling that I was waiting for something to happen, something to interrupt the dull routine I had fallen into.

Todd… I thought. Soon, he’ll be back, and we will start to quarrel again. He will infuriate me, and then kiss me forcibly into a temporary truce.

But we were to be married. I had given my word; it had been publicly announced. Marriage was hardly a temporary affair. How often I’d promised myself that I would never marry, and yet, suddenly and inexplicably, I found myself committed. Did I love him? I respected his strength, and I grudgingly admired the force of his will. But love? Did I know what it was?

The letter from Flo shook me out of my self-concern. It arrived only a day before Todd was due to come back, as I’m sure she meant it to, and was addressed to Mark.

I am only sending this letter because I’m sure Derek will write to find out why I have not arrived yet. You may tell him, from me, that I have decided to live, for a change. God, how bored I was. How tired of being watched, and having all my days and hours planned for me! I know you are going to show this letter to Rowena, and I don’t care! If you’re content with standing on the fringes and accepting second-best, I am not.

I’m tired of gentlemen; I need a man. Ask Rowena, she will know what I mean. Poor Mark. Pa thought once that I would do the convenient thing and marry you, did you know that? Then she came, and spoiled everything. But it makes no difference now.

I’m going with Lucas. Send those marshals after us and I’ll swear in public that we were lovers, that he was with me when Pa was shot at. Think of what a juicy scandal that would make!

You’re a clever attorney, Mark, and will think of some story that will satisfy everyone. But I want to be left alone. Don’t bother me, and I won’t bother you. That’s rather clever, don’t you think?

There were several pages of recriminations, mostly directed at me. But the gist of Flo’s communication was clear.

And, as Mark and I had both feared, the effect on Todd was catastrophic. His face became red, and he began to shout at Mark and me. It was our fault for not watching her, and especially for letting her go! He’d hire men to go after her and bring her back; if the U.S. marshals in the territory couldn’t do what they were supposed to, he’d hire his own killers to go after Luke Cord, men as dangerous and predatory as Cord was himself.

Mark tried to explain in his quiet, reasonable voice. I merely walked out of the room.

“Come back here, damn you!” Todd shouted behind me. “I ain’t through with you yet!” Ignoring him, I kept walking, and was halfway across the courtyard before he caught up with me.

“Rowena! Where in hell do you think you’re goin’? Told you I wasn’t through talkin’ to you yet.”

He caught my arm. I turned my head and looked at him coldly.

“I told you once that I would not be shouted at. Talk to yourself, if you will. Shout at Mark. But remember one thing, Todd Shannon, you don’t own me.”

“You walked out on me, dammit! I’m not used to that.”

“You were being totally unreasonable. I refuse to listen to loud, childish blusterings.”

“By God! You dare tell me I’m bein’ childish? An’ you no more than a chit of a brat.”

“In that case, I’m sure you won’t want to marry me.”

I tried to pull my arm free, and his grip tightened. He pulled me around to face him.

“Do you have to make a public exhibition of your brute strength?”

“Stop cuttin’ at me with that sharp tongue of yours, girl! Can you blame me for being angry? Flo’s made fools of us all by flauntin’ her shamelessness under the noses of the whole territory. An’ you expect me to sit back an’ talk about it reasonably?”

“There’s no reason that you can’t talk quietly, is there? And to waste your breath trying to place blame is useless.”

“Well, by God, I ain’t gonna let it go! She’s shamed me by runnin’ off with that damn halfbreed who tried to kill me.”

“I’m not making excuses for Flo, but you have to remember she’s a grown woman.”

“I’m remembering a lot,” Todd said grimly.

But he had seen that I would not let myself be intimidated, and in the end, grumbling, he apologized for losing his temper at me.

The whole unpleasant business could not be pushed out of the way