The Wildest Heart

“Were you expecting to see anyone else?”

“Nobody tell you about the troubles we’ve been havin’?”

The carbines had been lowered, and I looked beyond Shannon and his men at a dilapidated wooden building that seemed to lean to one side, the door gaping open on broken hinges.

As if he had read my mind, Todd’s lips curled mockingly downward.

“You met your lady boss yet, boys?” And to me, in a lowered voice as he kneed his mount forward, “The way you ride around by yourself makes me wonder…”

The four cowboys with him seemed slightly embarrassed as they lowered their carbines and touched their bats awkwardly. I nodded slightly and looked back at Todd.

“This is my land, is it not? And I happen to enjoy riding by myself.”

“Just like Flo, in the old days. This is where she used to come.”

I should have known, from the narrow-eyed look he bent on me. And yet curiosity made me glance again at the building, as I remembered what I had been told. I tried to imagine Lucas as a young man, hardly more than a boy, coming here to meet Flo. Had he cared for her at all, even then? And the killing that had taken place here—Flo’s hysterical screams, and Lucas himself—what had he thought, how had he felt?

Ignoring Todd, I slipped off my horse and walked forward.

“I didn’t know,” I said over my shoulder. “But I’ve heard what happened here.”

His men rode away quietly and I found myself alone with him. I felt his presence close behind me as I paused at the doorway; not wanting to go inside, but fascinated by what had once taken place in this very spot.

“So you’ve heard. Did he tell you?”

I became aware of Todd, of his pent-up anger.

“Does it matter?”

“Hell, yes, it does! I don’t want you traipsing around on your own anymore, and I won’t have any secrets between us. You hear me?” He put his hands on my shoulders, and I stiffened coldly. “You told me some of what happened, mebbe I’m ready to believe part of it. But if we’re going to be married there are a few things we’re goin’ to get straight.”

I twisted away f

rom his grasp.

“We’re not going to be married! After what you’ve thought, and the things you said… oh, really, Todd! Why keep on with a farce?”

“And I tell you that you ain’t going to make a fool of me! Maybe you don’t realize it, miss, but out here, when you give your word you better be ready to keep it. We’ll settle our differences after we’re married. I tell you, I’m willing to forgive and forget what’s happened, maybe all of it wasn’t your fault after all. But from now on, you start changing those independent ways of yours, you understand? And…” his voice rose into a bellow that made me wince involuntarily, “you stop asking Mark to spend the night! I won’t have any more talk about you than there is already.”

“Will you get it through your head that I have no intention of marrying you?” Without my realizing it, my voice had risen, and I felt my own anger rising to match his. “It was a mistake—we would never have suited each other. And now, especially now—I would think you’d be glad to be rid of whatever obligation you may have felt towards me.”

His voice was a low growl that should have warned me. “How is it you still have that high and mighty, touch-me-not air about you after all the fornicating you’ve done? Or is it only an act? Maybe you’re one of those women who has to be forced to enjoy it. Yeah, I can remember some times when I’ve held you in my arms an’ you were almost begging for it, only I held back. She’s a lady, I told myself. She’s Guy’s daughter. But maybe none of us knew you, and you’ve always been a bitch in your heart, like that mother of yours.”

I had forgotten how strong he was, how quickly he could move. He caught me in his arms and I felt the boards crack behind my back as he pressed me against the side of the shack.

“Now—” he whispered triumphantly and somehow cruelly. “Now let’s see if you’ve forgotten how it was with us.”

I felt his lips claim mine. No matter how I moved my head to avoid his kiss I was helpless. It had been this way before, I remembered, but this time there was a difference. This time, no matter how long and how fiercely he kissed me, I remained unmoved.

I had stopped struggling against him, and when at last he lifted his head to look down into my eyes with his face mirroring both frustration and anger, I whispered, “And now you see that I do not enjoy having kisses forced upon me, nor anything else! And you, Todd, you do not want me for myself any longer. Why don’t you admit it? You want the SD, and you think you will still get it through me, even though you have begun to hate me. Don’t bother to deny it! I can see it in your eyes. Why won’t you admit that whatever was between us once is finished?”

I pulled away from his slackened grasp and began to walk to where my horse stood with its ears pricked. His voice followed me, making me pause momentarily, with my hand on the saddle horn.

“I’ll be tellin’ you something, and you’d better listen. Hate you or not, we’re going to be married in a month’s time, and like any filly, you’re going to be bridle-broke, and learn your proper place. You don’t like that idea, you can run back East—or back to England, for all I care. But the SD is mine! I’ve fought for it and bled for it, an’ there ain’t no one going to take what’s mine from me—you understand that?”

He stayed where he was, feet astraddle, his brows drawn together in a threatening, lowering look, that followed me while I mounted my horse unaided and rode away from him without another word being said between us.

Todd had given me his ultimatum. It only remained to be seen what I would do about it. At least Todd knew what he wanted and would fight for it.