Scoundrel's Honor (Russian Connection 3)
Page 169
“As do I.” Leonida paused, a speculative glint in her eyes. “Still, a woman does not necessarily have to sacrifice her independence when she weds.”
Even suspecting the conversation was destined to be shifted in the direction of Dimitri, Emma tensed.
“You say that only because you were blessed with a husband who is devoted to your happiness.” She absently brushed aside a curl that had come loose from the elegant knot on top her head. “Most women have little choice but to bow to a man’s will, regardless of her desires.”
“Which only means that a woman must take care in choosing her husband.”
Emma shook her head. A woman might be able to choose her husband, but she had little control over who she fell in love with.
“If only it were that simple.” She sighed.
With a frown, Leonida reached to take her hand. “What is troubling you, Emma?”
“Nothing.” Emma determinedly squared her shoulders. “In fact, my life is at last settled. I shall soon be returning to my cottage in Yabinsk.”
“Oh.” A frown tugged at Leonida’s brows. “So far away?”
“I have promised both Vanya and Herrick Gerhardt that I will return to St. Petersburg to visit.”
“And what of Dimitri?”
Emma tugged away from Leonida’s grasp, spinning on her heel to pace to the ceramic stove set in the corner of the room.
“I do not know what you mean.”
“I am not blind,” Leonida said. “He loves you. And I am fairly certain you return his feelings.”
Emma bit her lower lip, knowing it was futile to lie. Despite being a pampered lady of society, Leonida was far from stupid. And it was not as if Emma were skilled in disguising her emotions.
Unlike others.
“What if I do?”
“Love is a rare gift, Emma.” Leonida moved to her side, her expression troubled. “Why would you turn your back on Dimitri?”
“I am not turning my back on Dimitri. I am…”
“Yes?” Leonida softly prompted.
Emma hunched her shoulders, wishing Leonida would rejoin the other guests. As much as she enjoyed the woman’s charming friendship, Emma was unaccustomed to sharing her emotions with anyone.
“We could never be happy together,” she muttered.
Leonida hesitated, as if carefully considering her words. “Does it trouble you he was forced to become a criminal?”
“Oddly enough, no.” Emma smiled ruefully. Perhaps if she were a more righteous person she would be shocked by Dimitri’s past, but life had taught her not to judge others. Not when she had endured the endless censure of her neighbors. “Oh, I am not naive. I know that he has suffered a brutal life and that he has profited from the sins of others, but I also know that he has a kind and generous heart and that he would give his life to protect those he considers his family.”
“He also happens to be superbly handsome and indecently wealthy,” Leonida teased. “What more could you desire?”
“It is not what I desire, but what Dimitri desires,” she said, her brows lifting as Leonida suddenly laughed. “What is so amusing?”
 
; “Dearest Emma.” Leonida reached to pat her arm. “You need only see Dimitri’s expression when you enter a room to know that it is taking all his restraint not to toss you over his shoulder and haul you away like the pirate he is.”
A hot flush stained her cheeks. Not at the knowledge Dimitri had been so blatant in his passion for her. What woman would not be pleased to have such a handsome gentleman regarding her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world? Instead, it was the memory of the vivid dreams that had plagued her.
She awkwardly cleared her throat. “I was not referring to Dimitri’s lust.”