Surrender to Love

He should not have felt himself obligated to ask her, and she should not have allowed him to take her hand on the heels of his curtly worded “request” that she do him the honor. Except, Alexa thought furiously, that he had not given her a chance to refuse him before she found herself led inexorably onto the floor and his arm encircled her waist to draw her far more closely against his arrogantly held body than decency permitted. Indeed, she would have made an attempt to escape if she had not been made to feel that her fingers would be crushed and mangled by his had she done so. In the end, all she could do was to demand, in a voice rendered slightly breathless and choked by the force of her emotions, that he release her immediately and allow her to rejoin the friends with whom she had arrived here, while he should surely return to his fiancée.

“Fiancee?” Alexa could not help but feel uneasy at the way he seemed to scrutinize her through dangerously narrowed eyes. “If you’ve been listening to gossip, Lady Travers, then you must surely be aware that there’s been no official announcement yet.”

“Official? Then an announcement is expected, of course. And I have not been listening to gossip at all—it was Charles who told me that...”

“Charles? If you’ll accept the advice of an old friend, such familiar usage of Deering’s first name might be misconstrued by the gossips and those who are sticklers for convention.” His sarcastic drawl made hot color rise in Alexa’s cheeks as she threw her head back to shoot him a daggerlike look.

“Your advice, my Lord Embry, is both unnecessary and uncalled for, I assure you! And you are not an old friend. That is surely the height of hypocrisy!”

“I beg your pardon, Lady Travers. I meant only to spare you the embarrassment you might have felt if I had substituted lover for friend” His smile reminded Alexa of a tiger baring its teeth. “Is Charles understanding enough, do you think?”

“Is that any concern of yours?” Rallying, Alexa gritted her teeth and stared at him frostily before adding: “Really, my lord, I fail to understand this insulting assumption of familiarity on your part based upon no more than the slightest acquaintance, unless you hope to frighten or to threaten me for some incomprehensible reason. And now, if you will allow me to rejoin my friends...?”

“I’m sure Mr. Jarvis and his wife will not leave without you—hypocrite! And if you continue with your useless attempts to run away from me, let me assure you that you will only succeed in making yourself look foolish as well as conspicuous.”

“You...you...!”

“Be careful, Lady Travers. You might be overhead by someone who does not understand you as well as I do.”

Alexa said in a furious undertone, “Will you stop holding me so tightly? And we are no more than acquaintances. If you were really my friend you would not for a this dance upon me!”

“My sweet, wanton nymph, you have already reminded me that I am not your friend! And I should certainly hope for your sake that you do not allow too many of your other acquaintances the same liberties you led me to take.”

“ Led you? Why...”

Viscount Embry said smoothly, and just loudly enough to be overheard by the few couples who were close enough: “But please allow me to lead you outside, Lady Travers. The fresh air will restore you, I am sure, and the feeling of dizziness will go away. You might also enjoy the sight of the fountains when they are illuminated....” Smiling down at her dangerously, he added in a softer voice: “Perhaps they might remind you of Rome? And if you do not come with me willingly then I will carry you if I have to, coral I don’t give a damn about gossip; but in your case...?”

She hardly needed his caustic reminder to make her realize that he was right, of course—and that she, being a female, would be the only one to be stigmatized by society if he carried out his threat. And in that case she would lose all the ground she had gained with such careful planning and slowness. Damn him! Alexa thought, trying valiantly to keep her head instead of exploding with rage. If she could only manage to concentrate her thoughts upon finding out what he wanted of her and exactly how much of a threat he could prove to be... In any case, it would never do to let him imagine she was afraid of him!

The conservatory opened out onto a covered terrace at one end, with steps leading down from there into a sylvan setting of lawns and shrubbery and shade trees. Rustic paths led to small groves with fountains splashing into lily ponds, or to marble gazebos surrounded by miniature moats crossed by pretty wooden bridges. At any other time, and with a different companion, Alexa would have enjoyed inspecting all the marvels she had heard so much of; but on this occasion she felt nothing but dismay when her first feeling of relief at seeing so many others on the small terrace was soon dispelled as she was practically forced down the steps and along a winding pathway screened by shrubbery with only dim illumination provided by lanterns hung from some of the trees.

“Everyone was staring at us, and God knows what they must be thinking! Will you stop! I cannot possibly walk as fast as you can, and... You don’t have to drag me along! I don’t want to go any further. Do you hear me?”

Where was he taking her? He must be quite insane, and so was she to have allowed herself to be intimidated by his threats. Alexa found herself gasping for breath and was quite incapable of speech by the time he paused at last; having forced her to walk across a damp stretch of grass that had probably ruined her thin dancing shoes as well as the hem of her gown. And it was dark here—with not even the dim glow of lantern light to see by.

By this time she might easily have fallen if he had not continued to hold her by the arm, as he had when he led her across the terrace and down all those steps, and then around the waist as well, once he had got her away from the curious stares. But why? Why had he done this? To drag her out here so publicly, when he was expected to marry Helen; and do so under Helen’s haughty nose at that! If she had any spirit at all she would never agree to marry him now!

Perhaps the stream of jumbled thoughts that kept her mind so busy with unanswerable questions had been meant to barricade her from the kind of weakness she had given way to before. Or if he had not been so despicable as to take unfair advantage of the fact that she was hardly capable of breathing, let alone protesting, when he...

She must have come close to fainting and instinctively reached for support, Alexa thought dazedly some moments later. Why else would she be clinging to his shoulders? Her lips felt bruised from the punishing brutality of the kisses he had inflicted on her, and her breasts still tingled painfully from the roughly familiar way he had handled them. And she had let him! As sanity came back her clinging hands became fists that beat at him before he caught her wrists and forced them down and behind her back while he jerked her stiffly resisting body against his in the same motion; holding her pinioned there in spite of her furious demands that he release her this very instant or she would...she would...

“Would you really have the courage to scream and bring everyone running?” he inquired interestedly, pressing her even closer as if he actually enjoyed her useless struggles to free herself. “What will you tell them, I wonder?” And then, as if to taunt her even further, Nicholas bent his head and began to plant light, teasing kisses everywhere on her face, even while she twisted her head back and forth.

Alexa felt his lips burn her temples, her forehead, her cheeks and the corners of her mouth. Such falsely tender kisses he gave her, even while his hold on her wrists tightened so ruthlessly each time she attempted to free them, that she felt he might easily break them without scruple.

Almost sobbing with a mixture of rage and chagrin, she was forced into pleading with him to set her free.

“Don’t! Please—haven’t you done enough already? You have probably quite ruined my reputation as it is; was that your intention when you forced me out here with you? Must you continue to inflict further cruelties upon me to satisfy some warped side of your nature? You were always cruel towards me! Does it give you pleasure to inflict hurt and pain on a helpless woman? Is that one of the traits you possess in common with the Dameron whose title you hope to inherit some day, my Lord Viscount?”

There was a curious rigidity to his body that Alexa could not help but notice with a tinge of fear; and at the end of her angrily impulsive speech she could have sworn she heard the breath hiss between his teeth before he said in a curiously soft voice that made her even more apprehensive, “So you think that Newbury and I are much alike, do you? I find it interesting that you should think so! Or that you should know so much and yet so little. Christ!” The sudden fury in his voice made Alexa flinch, and the next moment she stumbled backward as he released her so suddenly that she might easily have fallen if she had not felt herself brought up short by a tree at her back. She wanted to run and knew she should run, but he stoo

d there before her, close enough for her to almost feel the heat of his body yet not touching her this time. Forcing her to stand there and listen while he went on in a tone of barely leashed violence: “If you had any realization of all the different kinds of pain and degradation and abuse that can be and are inflicted on some human beings by others in the name of ‘pleasure,’ I do not think you’d have dared make your whining, hypocritical little complaints to me of cruelty and the infliction of pain—unless you meant it as a challenge? I understand that there are some women who actually enjoy such treatment. Is that what you need for your pleasure? Should I have slapped you instead of kissing you? Or used a whip on you before I took you for the first time—a virgin whore! Who could have expected it? Had you stayed longer you might have proved yourself worth the exorbitant price you put on your maidenhead, my sweet Lady Travers! And had I found you after you had run away that morning I might indeed have been sorely tempted to beat you, and would have taken a great deal of pleasure in doing so too! In fact, now that you’ve put the idea into my head...”

“Stop it! I don’t want to hear any more!” Involuntarily, Alexa pressed her hands over her ears to cut off the sound of his drawling, sarcastic voice and the import of his words; but in spite of that she heard his harshly mocking laugh and his next words as well. “No? I had not thought that a lady given to frequenting bawdy houses could be either surprised or shocked by anything! But perhaps you’ve had some unpleasant experiences since our‘ last meeting—besides losing a husband and gaining a fortune?”

“No!” Alexa said. “No, I won’t stay to be cut to pieces by you in this way, damn you!” With a sudden agility born of sheer desperation she reacted like a cornered animal, taking Nicholas by surprise as she ducked under an overhanging branch and began to run—neither knowing nor caring that it was dark and she did not know her way.

“Alexa!” The angry sound of his voice, using her name for the first time, only made her lift up her skirts even higher in order to run even faster, regardless of shrubs that tore at her silk stockings and stones that bruised her feet If only she could escape from him and the threat and the torment he represented! And for the first time she realized how it felt to be hunted instead of being the hunter; filled with almost mindless terror at the thought of being slowly and inexorably gained upon and far too frightened to turn her head and look back in case he might be there just behind her.