Surrender to Love

“I can imagine quite easily what your ‘poor Charles’ had in mind once he thought you were convinced of my perfidy and opportunism,” Lord Embry grated in an equally furious undertone as he dragged an angry and unwilling Alexa along by the wrist. His eyes, caught momentarily by gaslight, flashed with the dangerous green brilliance of those of a stalking Bengal tiger. “One of the dark alcoves, or perhaps even a private room, if he felt sure enough of you. Was that the kind of adventure you came seeking tonight in Cremorne Gardens?”

“You judge everyone else by your own vile standards, don’t you? But I am not accountable to you or to anyone else for my actions! Do you hear me, damn you?” Alexa’s words were blurted out vehemently between gasps. “I will never marry you! I refuse to be engaged to you either! Let go of me, you...you murderer!‘”

For a moment she thought it was because of what she had said that he halted so suddenly that she would have fallen against him if he had not at the same time released her aching wrist with a kind of backward shove that almost made her lose her balance. There was what felt like a rough-textured wall at her back and the innocuously soothing, splashing sound of a fountain nearby. And over all those sounds and sensations the awareness of the two burly men who had appeared from nowhere to block their path. Conversationally, one of them said, “Seems to me, Jimmy m’boy, that this pretty lady was screaming for help.”

“A lady in distress, eh Bert? I’d say it’s our Christian duty to come to the rescue, wouldn’t you?”

“I’d say that when a little lady says ‘no’ a real gentleman wouldn’t want to try and drag her off against her will! Course—there’s a difference between a gentleman and a toff...”

“Bert’s right. Now a gentleman would apologize for letting himself get carried away and walk off, wouldn’t he, Bert? And then Bert and I will make sure her Ladyship’s returned safe and sound to her friends!”

“Ah, but what happens if you are not dealing with a gentleman?” Nicholas’s voice was soft and almost pleasant, but with a certain undertone that suggested the unpleasant and made Alexa give an involuntary shudder as if she had just been chilled. It was partly the way he just stood there with his feet astride; such an easy-seeming and almost relaxed stance on the surface, while underneath she could almost feel like a physical thing the vibrating, couched tension of a wild beast ready to spring but waiting for its prey to move first.

While they had been speaking with each other the two men had begun, almost imperceptibly, to move apart, and one of them had a cudgel! “There is really no need...” Alexa had begun in the calmest tone of voice she could muster, when she was cut off by Nicholas’s short ugly laugh. “Obviously, my love, these gentlemen are anxious to be your knights-errant! Shall we joust for your fickle favors? They are most expensive to purchase, I should warn you two gallant knights! But if you or whoever paid you for your gallantry tonight should be prepared to pay the necessary price, then you might ask at Madame Olivier’s for the lady in distress!” As every intentionally brutal word assaulted her like stones meant to hurt and maim, Alexa felt herself grow cold, then hot, then cold again. And during those same slow seconds she saw the dull, dangerous gleam of the knife blade in his hand, remembering suddenly the way he had quickly disposed of her corset earlier that day.

“Well?” Nicholas taunted as the two exchanged uneasy glances before turning wary eyes back on him. He smiled, but it was a feral baring of his teeth only as he said softly, “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a real fight—or killed a man. Which one of you is first? Or shall it be both together?”

“You’ll never take us both, toff, for all that bluster... Ahh!”

When had he moved? How fast, for it to happen in seconds like a blur before her eyes? He must have moved, because one man writhed on the ground fighting for breath, with his hands clasped over his belly, and the other one had dropped his club to clutch at his arm, blood dripping from between his fingers already.

“Christ! Ah, Jesus! I’m bleedin‘ to death! We didn’t mean any harm, guv. I...I swear it! Just...just trying to help a lady, that’s all! Bert, tell him I’m right, for... Ohmigawd!” Bert, attempting painfully to sit up, was straightened out by a carefully placed kick that left him lying motionless almost at the same time that Nicholas said softly and savagely between his teeth, “Who paid you?”

“For God’s sake, guv! I’ve already told you—no...!” There was a bloody line down the side of the bewhiskered, jowly face and across the back of the hand the man had lifted, and he had suddenly begun to make grotesquely whimpering noises through his open mouth as he started to back away with his eyes flickering from the knife blade to the hard, expressionless face and narrowed, deadly eyes that were like death looking back at him.

“I could take off an ear very easily, or slit your nostrils for you. And then there’s always the belly, and yours is easy to find. You might live that way, with your guts spilling out, for a few days at least! I could give you lessons, my friend, on the uses of a knife and the many ways of carving a man up into bloody segments while he still lives. Must I show you or will you give me the name I asked for? I’m in too much of a hurry to ask again, so...?”

Unable to help herself, Alexa turned her head away and began to retch miserably, her hands sliding down the wall as she sank to her knees with her forehead pressed against the roughly uneven surface, her whole body shaking with revulsion. He had actually meant every coldly dispassionate threat he’d made—she did not doubt it now. Accused of murdering his wife, he’d admitted openly and even casually. And how had he killed her? Had she died slowly and painfully, poor miserable woman? And dear God, what was she doing with a man who could talk so calmly of torturing another human being? “I could give you lessons on the uses of a knife...” he had said and had gone on to elaborate on those uses of a knife. Alexa felt herself heave again and was even sicker this time, a cold sweat breaking out all over her body in spite of the chilly night air and the cashmere shawl she’d worn for protection against it.

“We had better go before someone else decides to stroll along this particular pathway. You are quite through with being sick, I hope?” Too weak to put up any resistance, Alexa allowed herself to be pulled none too gently to her feet again and made to walk beside him, her skirts brushing against the poor wretch who sat moaning weakly as he continued to clutch at his arm. Nicholas, she noticed, did not bother to spare the unfortunate fellow or his unconscious (or dead?) companion a second glance; and that evidence of heartlessness and hardness made her shudder again and press the back of one hand against her mouth to prevent herself from being sick once more.

“I had thought that since you used to go hunting and enjoyed it you would not collapse at the sight of a little blood,” he said in a harsh voice, his fingers tightening over her arm as she almost stumbled.

“It...it wasn’t the blood at all,” Alexa managed to choke out through her dry, constricted throat. With an effort she swallowed hard. “It was you! What you did and what you said. I cannot even bear to talk about it yet! But you were...you were worse than an animal to do what you did to that poor devil. And what if you’ve killed his friend? Or if he should die from loss of blood? Dear God! I do not know you at all, do I? You could never force me to marry you! Do you think that I am so stupid and thoughtless as to let you marry me for my fortune and then arrange for my convenient demise? Or had you planned to murder me yourself, just as you murdered your first wife?”

She thought she heard his sharply indrawn breath as his grip on her arm tightened painfully enough to elicit a cry from her. But then he relaxed his hold almost at once and his voice seemed to hold nothing more than wry amusement as he said, “Do you imagine me as some Bluebeard? If you do, then perhaps you should remember never to wander inquisitively into locked chambers—or ask too many questions!”

“That will hardly happen since there is no question of our ever being married!” Alexa retorted heatedly. “And what did you mean by that filthy insinuation you dared make to those men? Why, if I had a knife or a pistol with which to defend myself I would have...”

“I’m under no illusions as to what you would have done given the chance, my sweet Alexa, despite the inevitable bloodletting! But as to the reference I made to Madame Olivier, she is your aunt, is she not? And considering your obvious fascination for bordellos and your knowledge of what goes on in such houses of pleasure, what other conclusion could be drawn?”

More flung stones, carefully aimed and meant to injure. And—he knew! For how long had he known and how much? Hell-bent on vengeance now, it was that knowledge that acted like a glass of cold water thrown in her face and made her choose her next words more carefully. But in her preoccupation Alexa had hardly noticed his handing her up into a carriage and climbing in beside her until she heard the door slammed shut and felt herself jerked back against padded velour as the coachman cracked his whip. Ostentatiously, Alexa moved as far away from him as she could while she pretended to stare with fascination out of the window, saying frostily over her shoulder without once turning her head, “You really had no need to take the trouble to hire a vehicle to take me home, since I had my own carriage with me. Now I shall be obliged to...”

“You do not have to worry on that score, mi corazon. I sent your coachman and his sleepy attendant back to Belgrave Square when I first arrived, knowing how much

we have to talk about in private. And although I appreciate your concern as to my financial capabilities, I should assure you that this carriage is mine, and not hired.”

“I don’t in the least care...!” As she turned back to face him Alexa could feel herself positively tremble with fury. “How dared you presume enough to act in such a high-handed fashion! To take so much for granted... Ohh! I cannot wait to get back home and to be free of your presence! And please, I would prefer not to have any further conversation between us until then. I’ve made myself quite clear, I hope?”

As she turned her head around again, her shoulders squared and stiffly unyielding, Alexa heard his lazy, aggravating laugh, which this time contained an undercurrent of genuine amusement.

“Sweetheart, if you really mean that, you would be the perfect woman, you know. I have always thought the eternal babbling of a typical female a damned waste of time, especially if she has an adorably sensuous mouth that should be occupied with deeds, instead of senseless words.” Alexa’s back became even straighter as she used every ounce of self-control she could muster in order to keep silent in spite of the way he was baiting her. She kept her head stubbornly turned away and her lips pressed tightly together, even when his voice took on, surprisingly, a coaxing, almost caressing note as he murmured thoughtfully: “You do have an adorable mouth, sweet witch. And an adorably rounded little bottom as well. Straight, long legs... Do you know how unusual and delightful that is? And as for your skin, it’s like gold silk, querida mia. The kind of skin that a man could never tire of touching—or kissing.” It was all Alexa could do to remain sitting there unmoving as she felt the warmth of his lips against the nape of her neck and where her neck and shoulder joined. She felt, unwillingly, the heat flood through her body as he murmured softly against her shoulder: “And your sweet, pointed breasts with those coral nipples—you should be painted in the nude—as a sea nymph perhaps, but only by a great painter who could do you justice.” His fingers brushed very lightly and almost tantalizingly across her breasts for just an instant, and Alexa gasped as if she had been burned by his touch.

“Stop! I don’t want you to touch me again, do you hear? I...”

Almost to her surprise, Nicholas gave an indifferent shrug and leaned his shoulders against the opposite corner of the seat they shared. “No? Very well,: my love. In that case I will leave it all up to you without having to feel selfish. I’m sure you’ve learned a great deal more about pleasing a man than you’ve let me discover so far.”

Gritting her teeth together, Alexa managed to keep from uttering the heated words that were on the tip of her tongue. Damn him to hell! Why was it that he seemed to find some malicious satisfaction in taunting and insulting her and trying her patience and control to the utmost? Her head ached from all the thoughts that tumbled around in her mind, and she would have given anything to be safely at home in her own bed at this moment— alone! She needed to be able to think without distraction, and there were urgent decisions that had to be made, if only so that she could keep her own peace of mind.