And men could be fools when they let themselves believe what they wanted to believe and not what they were told. Alexa. Sweet Alexa, loved and lost. And more than amply revenged by now for whatever she had lost or had suffered at his hands, by seeing him properly chastised and chastened. Did she know in what manner he was forced to wait for her arrival so that the performance might begin— and then finally be ended—and was that why she was deliberately tardy? A sudden draft of cold air made Nicholas shiver involuntarily, and even that small movement was enough to make him grit his teeth with pain. Ah, Alexa! If she needed the satisfaction of hearing him groan she might easily get her wish tonight, for his body had become weak and he did not think he could take very much more. Where was she?
She was cold, in spite of her warm cashmere pelisse lined with silk and trimmed with ermine, and in spite of all the petticoats she had worn under her dark green velvet gown. Alexa felt that she had never been so cold in her whole life as she was now, inside and out. If she had not kept her teeth gritted together she could not have stopped them from chattering. Where was Charles taking her? And worst of all, what would she find when they arrived? It was easier to keep her mind occupied with circumventing any sly plans Newbury might have for her instead of dwelling on any other alternatives; particularly the thought that he might actually have spoken the truth.
“Charles! How much further do we have to go? We’re quite near the river, aren’t we?” Her voice sounded almost strident in her own ears before she controlled it sufficiently to say more quietly: “I feel chilled by the cold dampness here, and I cannot say that I enjoy having to wear a blindfold either. Are you sure you and your uncle are not creating an overly exaggerated drama out of this Judge and Jury Society you are so mysterious about? Who are they and how dared they make me and my affairs the subject of one of these mock trials of theirs?”
“But, my dearest Alexa, I have already explained as much as I could to you, and so has my Uncle Newbury.” Charles’s voice held a note of exaggerated patience that vexed her even more. “The trial was held to vindicate you from censure and from any possibility of being thought of as fair prey for any crude advances by other men. I know from the stubborn set of your lips that you do not like to hear such things, but surely you must realize the truth of what I’ve said? And as for Embry, why, once he had shown his true colors and his obvious contempt for the code of ethics and morality that governs us all, who knows what further outrages he might have committed? My poor cousin had a fortunate escape indeed!”
It was strange how behind a blindfold all the other senses seemed intensified as if in compensation, Alexa thought, and clenched her hands together tightly in her ermine muff. Even though she could not see Charles’s face to gauge his expression, there had been a certain nuance in his voice that made her feel that his whole speech had been a hypocritical sham to cover something else. Was she meant to be put on trial now? Or was this excursion she had agreed to a ruse to get her out of the way by shipping her off somewhere as they had done with her Aunt Solange before? But no! Not even they would dare try to get away with anything so obvious, especially since her servants knew whom she was with and that her hurried return to London had something to do with Newbury’s visit to her. She had even taken the precaution of sending off a letter to Mr. Jarvis informing him of everything she had been told and what she planned to do. In fact—and it made her feel safer—he had promised to make sure she was followed everywhere for her protection. Safe? Alexa repeated the word in her mind and sat up straighten She would not let herself be afraid. No matter...no matter what.
“You should have warned me, Charles, that these corridors are so narrow, and I would not have worn my new crinoline,” Alexa said as she felt her wide skirts brushing against walls on either side of them. Whatever this place was that they had finally arrived at, it felt damp and cold and had a strange, almost moldy odor that made her flesh creep when she imagined moss creeping up crevices in old stone walls and spider webs hugging dark corners or covering windows and doorways. Not to mention scuttling mice and huge, gaunt rats with angry red eyes. Perhaps it was just as well she still wore that black silk bandage over her eyes so that she couldn’t see where Charles was leading her. “And you might have been thoughtful enough to warn me we had so far to walk, so that I could have worn some suitable shoes,” Alexa added quickly to ward off the uneasy, even apprehensive feeling that seemed to grow stronger and stronger with every step she took.
“I am sorry for the blindfold, but you will understand when I am able to remove it that it was for your own protection,” Charles had said earlier, and now he repeated his apology as he promised it would not be long now and she would soon have a chance to see everything for herself.
“See for myself? Is it another one of these mock trials, which I’m to be allowed to watch this time? And...” Alexa found she swallowed drily before she went on carefully, “And what has all this got to do with...with what you said about Embry?”
Her heart had begun to thump alarmingly for some reason as Charles drew her to an abrupt halt, and she was about to tear the silken bandage away herself when he stopped her with his hand laid warningly on her arm as he whispered, “Please be patient for just a minute or two longer, my dear. My uncle has planned a little entertainment especially for you this evening, and you would not wish to spoil his surprise, would you?”
“I...” Alexa had begun when she heard the Marquess of Newbury say affably, “Ah! So there you are at last. We have been ready and waiting for at least a half hour or more. And, Lady Travers, I thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight and for your forbearance so far.” She felt her cold hand picked up and the touch of his cold, dry lips on its back before he said, “But first the overture before, so to speak, the curtain rises. Brown? You may begin now.”
At first she did not understand at all what that sound was or what it meant, and she stood there frozen while she listened to that regular cracking noise that was being repeated over and over and over with a steady rhythm. It was only when she heard a gasp and Nicholas said almost violently after that, “Oh damn. Damn!” as he felt his head spin sickly and knew he was going to faint or be sick again, that Alexa was able to move again and tore clawingly at the black silk that prevented her from seeing... horror and the interior of hell itself, as her glazed eyes were able to focus once more.
“Ah,” Newbury said pleasantly, “so you were too impatient to wait? But it doesn’t matter, my dear Lady Travers, because this you see, is what happens to transgressors; and this is your revenge, which has been and is being exacted on your behalf. You m
ust not look so... Do support her, Charles, there’s a good fellow, in case she... I’m sorry, Lady Travers, for not thinking that the sight of blood might make you feel faint, but first and foremost I wanted you to know that your accusations did not go unheard and were not ignored by some of us at least!” And then while Alexa fought to make her paralyzed throat and tongue function again as the room seemed to lurch back and forth with the swinging lanterns, the Marquess turned back to Brown and said in a tone of bored irritation, “I think some cold water will revive him this time, Brown. And then you may continue again.”
“No,” Alexa whispered, and then in a scream that seemed to echo and reecho from every wall, “No...o...o...o!” She ran against the barred door and shook it, then slid down the bars to her knees with her face contorted like that of a demented woman while she choked out, “Oh God! Oh God—you monsters, what have you done to him?” She barely heard the Marquess say reproachfully, “ I, madam? I was but the instrument of the justice that you condemned this poor wretch to when you accused him of abduction and forcible rape. Did I not make that sufficiently clear? If I did not, I’m sorry.”
“No, no! Please, I beg you not to...he didn’t...he never did...I was...”
She was gasping so hard she could hardly speak by now, and Newbury said smoothly: “But, my dear Lady Travers, surely you won’t allow the natural softness of your heart to influence you into accusing yourself? No, it won’t do, will it, Charles? Why, Embry admitted at his trial to the truth of what you said. Taking you to a bordello against your will, using restraints to keep you tied down and helpless while he ravished your body as he pleased...”
“At least he had that much decency left in him,” Charles said, and added, “Unless, of course, he meant to boast of his despicable actions.”
“Perhaps he’ll be able to tell us himself. He’s stirring again, I see. Well, Nicholas? Are you back with us or will you have to be taught your manners all over again?”
“Newbury—you will—as usual—teach me anything— it—pleases you to—teach me, I suppose,” Nicholas said in a strained whisper he had to force out while he felt his body shudder with the cold chills that overtook it as water dripped into his eyes and even his mouth. “But I wish— that—you would not—” He held his own despairing words back just in time when he realized that he had been about to plead, and said when Newbury asked him in his smooth voice to finish what he had been about to say, “Nothing—or—I’ve forgotten—” And this time could not prevent from gasping out loud when the lash descended again, without warning.
Alexa had felt, while they were all talking over her and around her, as if all her muscles—even those that controlled her breathing and those in her throat—had somehow become paralyzed, like her fingers locked tight over the coldness of iron bars, and her eyes, and her open mouth, and her mind and the thoughts in it as well. Frozen in place—like everything else and everyone else in this ghastly tableau—until suddenly she became aware of the pressure of Charles’s hand on her shoulder and saw the strange look that Newbury sent over her head before he turned calmly back to watch the continuance of the carnage he had already begun.
She had been holding in her breath because she could not breathe, and everything was trapped in her head until it was filled to the bursting point.... And then, on the sharp gust of her expelled breath, she heard herself cry out wildly as she felt for one inexplicable instant his pain as well as her own combined in agony so unendurable that she almost fainted from it.
“Alexa! Good God, for a moment...!”
“My dear Charles, you should have warned me that your fiancée had such a delicate constitution. Unless it is a little more than that, and you have made her that way?”
She heard Charles and she heard Newbury’s sneering voice, and when she lifted her bent head she saw that the Marquess stood just on the other side of the bars, looking down at her with that expression in his eyes that she had always found terrifying before. And she had been right to be frightened because now, catching him unawares, she understood what it meant and why all of this was being enacted and how he had planned and manipulated and must have waited for this moment. Yet strangely enough it was this sudden, intuitive feeling that made Alexa lose her fear of him, and her blind desperation as well; enabling her to meet his eyes steadily and hold them until he suddenly drew in his breath and looked below her eyes, saying in a falsely solicitous voice, “Ah, your lovely velvet gown must be quite ruined,” before he turned away abruptly and murmured questioningly, “My good Brown, do you think we could find out exactly what his Lordship might have forgotten? I have a feeling...”
“Oh, stop! For God’s sake, haven’t you done enough? Gone far enough? You know, as you always knew very well...” Alexa drew in a shuddering breath and started to pull herself erect, but Charles had both his hands on her shoulders now and would not let her, as he leaned over her to say softly, “My dearest, you are still distraught, aren’t you?”
“Do let her finish speaking, Charles. I am curious to find out what I have always known.”
Alexa said steadily: “Nicholas never raped me. Never. I lied. I lied because I was so angry with him, but I never thought... How could I have known to what ugly lengths you would go? You...” she felt rising anger stiffen her as she spat straight in his smiling face. “You whoreson! Butcher! If anyone should be put on trial, it is you!”
Newbury laughed shortly and without mirth as he said mockingly, “And so it’s proven that the lady’s a whore, or a whore playing a lady. You admit? On your knees like a Christian saint, or a repentant sinner?”
“I have already admitted to what you brought me here to admit, and I will repeat it if it pleases you. I lied. I lied! There was no force, no rape. I was most willing. And I do not have to kneel before anyone as depraved and as evil as you!” Panting, Alexa fought to be free of the weight of Charles’s hands pressing her down, and when his fingers tightened as he swore angrily at her, she sunk her nails into one hand and her teeth into the other; and then, before he could strike her as he meant to, she took advantage of his momentarily being thrown off-balance and pushed him as hard as she could, sending him staggering backward as she sprang to her feet and faced him defiantly.
It was Newbury’s warning voice that halted Lord Deering before he could carry out the threat implicit in the ugly expression on his usually handsome face. “Charles! No! That will do no good, you know.”