“But—”
“You’re right,” Ian says. “We can do it on our own. I’m in.”
“Wait a—”
“Me three!” Cece says.
Shane is still sputtering half-finished objections, but Raine has remained noticeably silent.
“What about you, Raine? In or out?” I ask.
She looks down at her lap and shakes her head and finally whispers, “I can’t.”
I feel a brief flash of anger. She’s always so strong. Why can’t she be strong for this? But watching her face slowly harden and disconnect brings a wave of guilt too. She has moved into her default survival mode. I know I pushed her further than I should have. She has more to lose than any of us. We don’t have to live with the Secretary, and thanks to me, she already pushed her limits with him a few nights ago. It wasn’t fair for me to push her again.
“No problem,” I say. “We’ll drop you and Shane off before we go to the shelter.”
“Shelter?” Ian says. “There are no shelters for Non-pacts. They aren’t allowed. We need to go straight to the source—their neighborhoods.”
I try not to act overly surprised, but my mind is racing. Flea-infested dumps. That’s what Shane called them. A shelter was never mentioned. Why had I assumed something like a soup kitchen or a local Y for the indigent? All Non-pacts are indigent and they’re meant to stay that way—indigent and invisible, kept far from the respectable citizens in their own run-down neighborhoods. Neighborhoods like Xavier’s where they know me, and probably the closest Non-pact neighborhood to where we are right now. I’ve made a strategic error.
“Let’s go,” Vina says. She turns to Raine. “Can’t you two take the PAT home so we don’t have to drop you off?”
Raine glances at me, a hint of shame and hurt on her face, but she quickly sweeps it away and with her trademark indifference looks back at Vina. “Of course. See you all tomorrow.” She turns and walks away without any more good-byes. Shane follows after her.
Vina grabs my arm. “Come on, Locke.”
But I keep my eyes on Raine, hoping and wishing as she begins to get lost in the crowds. Vina pulls on my arm again and I’m just about to turn away when I see Raine stop. She simply stops, looking down at the sidewalk. Shane is babbling something to her, but she shakes her head like she’s blocking him out. And then she turns. She looks in our direction and begins walking back, and stops in front of me. Her pupils are pinpoints, panic filling them, and her breaths are uneven, but still her chin juts out like she’s in control. “I’ll go along. This once.”
* * *
We step out of the car. “This way,” Ian says. We walk down the alley in the direction he points. Shane is nervous. Good. This is definitely not in his comfort zone. I hope he shakes himself into oblivion. He doubled back and followed Raine when she changed her mind. He had an unexpected change of heart too. Only morbid curiosity, he clarified.
Raine didn’t speak the whole way. She just stared through the window like everything out there was suddenly so interesting. But I watched her eyes. She didn’t see a thing—at least nothing the rest of us could see. Now she walks between Cece and Vina, still not speaking, in spite of Vina asking a hundred questions. What will we say if we run into someone? Do we interview them? Find out what their income is? Ask if they’re hungry?
“Let’s just start with hello,” Ian suggests.
Before we piled into the car, I pretended I had a call from my mother and stepped away from the others. I tried to reach Xavier but he didn’t answer, so I left a message warning him that I might be showing up in his neighborhood with the A Group and that no one should recognize me. I’m hoping he got the message because that’s exactly where we are now—walking down the alley to Xavier’s courtyard. Ian had already scouted out neighborhoods, not knowing the Secretary had nixed this project. Population and distance made this the best choice in his opinion, in spite of me trying to sway him elsewhere.
Cece’s bodyguard walks with us—seven feet of black metal and menace. She tried to persuade him to stay behind when she saw Ian frown, but unlike Raine with Hap, she couldn’t override his orders. We turn at the dead end of the alley and I hold my breath, but the courtyard is empty.
Everyone takes in the grim surroundings, the boarded-up windows, the couches and chairs scavenged from Citizens’ trash, piles of broken shutters, doors, and other wood foraged from crumbling buildings for fuel, the cold embers of the fire ring at the center of it all used for light and warmth in the night. It’s dismal and bleak. Even with my memories of a few nights ago, a bright crackling fire, music, laughter, I’m overwhelmed by what I see. Now there are no dancing evening shadows to disguise the stark truth. This is the day-to-day harsh reality for Xavier and people like him. People like me.
We pause on the perimeter, only the occasional scuff of grit beneath our feet making any noise at all in the deserted courtyard. I look at Raine. Her eyes have focused on a child’s toy, a soiled baby doll lying on the ground, perhaps left in haste.
“Are you sure that we’re in the right place?” Cece asks. “This does not look like a neighborhood to me. Just some old abandoned buildings.”
I’m wondering myself where everyone is. Hiding? Looking out at us from behind dark windows? And then the silence is broken. A child runs out, oblivious to our presence, and grabs the baby doll from the ground.
Vina gasps.
The Menace steps forward.
I put my arm out to stop him. “It’s just a kid.”
“Thieves, same as the rest,” Shane says.
A young woman runs out the door after the child. “Alessa! Come back!” She spots us across the courtyard and stops.