Her shoulders pull back and her brows rise. "Customer Locke, I may not have everything you do, but I have more than you think and much more than I ever dreamed of. I told you, Bots dream. At least some of us do. Whether we are supposed to or not, whether it was ever planned or not, we dream. Some of us think beyond our cabs, we imagine where our customers go and what things they see. When they jump into our cabs, we imagine where they have been, and how it has changed them. Their worlds become our secret worlds, and sometimes we share those places with others like us and sometimes we even dare to dream that those worlds could be ours one day. We don't know if that could ever be true for us, but we hear stories. And now ... I am one of those stories. Escape is not about moving from one place to another. It's about becoming more.
"I know I could still be found by Star Security. Remote Deactivation could sizzle my circuitry in a blink, but every single minute of this
past week would still be worth it." She looks down at her palm where I traced her name and runs a finger over the place I touched. "Even though I may not walk, or taste, or feel, or even think exactly like the Eaters and Breathers, I use what I have more than any of them can even imagine. So." She looks back at the meat grilling, takes a deep breath, and then pats the sides of her assistance chair. "You never need to worry about me! Customer Locke, I thank you for allowing me to be part of your Escape."
I stare at her. She's light-years from the Bot in the diner and even more light-years from the CabBot who was going to trade me for points. Did those Bots ever dream of escape? Did they dream at all? Maybe something changes inside when a Bot dreams. Maybe that's how they become something more.
"You're right, Dot. I don't think I need to worry about you."
"Worry about what?" Jenna says, surprising both of us from behind.
"Not a thing," I say, and Dot grins. I turn and look over my shoulder at Jenna. "What are you doing back?"
"Kayla went with Allys to look at some bird feeders, and Kara's still looking for a shirt that's more her style. I'm done. I'm not much of a shopper anymore."
"Where did Miesha go?" Dot asks.
"I'm not sure. The last time I saw her, she was walking over that way."
"I'll find her," Dot says, and she takes off in the direction that Jenna pointed, the treads of her assistance chair crunching over the dirt.
Jenna sits down next to me. "Looks like those two have become quite attached to each other this past week."
"Yeah, it's a surprise to me. They sure didn't start out that way. Almost as much of a surprise as you agreeing to go shopping. Where in the world did that come from?"
Jenna shakes her head. "I honestly don't know. Maybe I was just overwhelmed with too much too fast. I've had a lot to wrap my head around in such a short time. I guess, when she said shopping, it seemed like an out. A place to get away and think, or not think, depending on how you look at it. I'm still trying to sort it all out." She turns to look at me. "She really wanted to come. I couldn't say no, and I couldn't say no to you either. You wanted me to give her a chance, so I am. Her face, it still-- But she talks and moves and seems just like the Kara I knew--"
She stops suddenly. A warm glow fills her face, and her eyes focus on something in the distance. I turn to see what she's looking at. Kayla is walking down an aisle toward us, twirling a ribbon on a stick over her head. Allys follows close behind. They stop at one of those animal cookie carts and watch the vendor create a sparkling animal cookie. Even from this distance, I can see the wonder filling Kayla's face.
"She's your North Star, isn't she?"
Jenna nods, her eyes still fixed on Kayla. "The first time I looked into her eyes, Locke, I saw the universe. I saw it like I've never seen it before." She turns to me and smiles. "I saw and heard and knew at last the How and Why of all things, past."
It's the Millay poem I quoted for her a few days ago. "I saw why this world goes on," she says. "I saw all the hope of the future, even when this world is one big mess. Looking into Kayla's eyes made me hope for a better future. Maybe hope is all that's ever kept the world going."
"That's a lot to see in one little girl's eyes," I say.
"Yes," she answers. "It is."
And then, while Jenna is still dreamily focused on Kayla, something catches my eye. I turn my head slightly, and through the crowds, past the carts, past the hanging baskets and flapping canvas stalls, I see Kara. She is watching. Her mask is gone, and she is staring at Jenna.
And in an instant, I know. Her words from two nights ago flash through my head. She deserves to suffer, the same way we suffered.
That's where she's been the last week.
Practicing. Gaining control over every movement of her face. Gaining perfect control so she reveals nothing, not even to me, because I might give it away. In another instant, her performance for Jafari flashes through me--the timing, the pauses, all rehearsed and perfectly orchestrated. But Jafari was an ordinary human. He couldn't read and dissect a face the way we can, and Kara is smart enough to know that Jenna has the same ability. Her performance for Jenna required even greater skill. When the time is right. Watching. I need to know.
Hurting Jenna wasn't enough. Even killing Jenna wouldn't be enough for Kara. But making her suffer ... that's what she's watching for. She's looking for Jenna's greatest weakness.
Chapter 71
Every turn, every push forward, every effort to pull Kara aside, every moment from bazaar to house is filled with others getting in my way. Finally, as we are getting out of the truck, I can't stand it any longer.
"Kara, can I talk to you? Alone?"
Miesha and Allys turn to look at me.
Jenna stops. "Can it wait, Locke? I want to show Kara the greenhouse. Now. Just in case she should want to go there." With Kayla between us she talks in code, but we all get what the just in case is. I still don't know why it's so urgent to go right now. Maybe she's heard something, but what I need is much more urgent.