"Thanks for the ride," I said through a sigh while climbing out of the car.
He smiled back, rolling down the passenger side window as I shut the door.
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow."
He backed up and pulled back out of the driveway. Gear was waiting outside with a quizzical look.
"Where's Jared?" he asked, raising his arms in confusion.
I could hear the irritation return to my tone with just the mention of his name. "He said he had to go meet up with some of the militia. I'm sure it'll be a while before we see him again."
Gear tilted his head to the side, still perplexed. "That's odd. They aren't supposed to meet for another couple of days. The next mission they're going on is going to be very dangerous. They were supposed to rest their magic and their minds."
I could feel the guilt knocking around inside of me, almost stealing my breath. Now I was worried I had just endangered him.
I should've just kissed him and been done with it. Now he was out there without a guard, and his head was anything but clear. I was nothing but trouble. All I had been since I had gotten there was trouble. All I was doing was hurting everyone and causing problems.
I almost snapped at Gear when I spoke. "I guess he decided to bump up the date. Why don't just you ask him and leave me alone?"
Gear looked shocked as I barged by him on my way inside.
"Aria, is there something you're not telling me? Did something happen?"
"The same thing that always happens just happened. I made yet another mess. I need to be locked in a padded room right now. I'm done trying," I mumbled, keeping my back turned.
I ran to my room, stumbling and whimpering the whole way. I lay on my bed, crying for at least thirty minutes. All I could think about was how much I loved Tallis. I couldn't believe how broken I was. It all came out in a vengeful rush. My tears were furious for having been held back for so long, so they ravaged my cheeks mercilessly, refusing to creep back into hiding or be subdued any longer.
I clutched his picture against my chest, weeping into the pillow beneath my head.
Then I worried about how Jared might possibly being in danger... because of me. I was so tired of all the messiness.
In my old home, the most complicated thing I had to worry about was my schoolwork. The most drama I'd ever dealt with was arguing about having to leave my home. This was all too much to take on at once. It was all too different from what I was used to, and I was doing a horrible job adjusting. I needed a break from it all. I needed somewhere that would provide me with an escape. I needed to recharge and start all over.
I got up and walked into the upstairs library and turned on the computer. I pulled up the tickets I had bought earlier in the year. I reserved the first flight to Brazil and changed my name to Ashiara Weislen.
I snuck downstairs, weaving through the people who never seemed to go home, and found Ash's purse. I carried it into the bathroom and took out her license and passport. Then I put it back just like I had found it - minus the few borrowed items.
I glanced toward the unlocked cupboard - the place where Iris kept all her goodies. I had heard her speak of a stripping potion. I needed it. It took a minute to find it without anyone noticing what I was doing, but I finally succeeded.
I went back to my room and changed my clothes. I had three and a half hours before my flight. It was midnight, and I hadn't slept at all, but it was a long flight, so I could sleep the whole way there.
Absentmindedly, I tossed a bunch of clothes in a suitcase and threw it out the window. I heard a thud as it hit the ground, and I sucked in a steadying breath. Everyone would be mad, but this was something I needed. Selfish? Probably, but I just wanted to breathe again, and I couldn't do it here.
Still questioning my resolve, I went to the window and started climbing down the shaky, weak lattice that stretched the full length of the house. The vines that grew in between the gaps were wet and made it slippery. I inched my way down, carefully and cautiously moving before the creaks grew too loud.
Then, when I onl
y had five feet left to go, the slippery vines bested me, forcing me to lose my grip and fall the rest of the way. My arms whipped wildly and uselessly in the air, as if I could take flight and spare myself the impending slam. It didn't even slow me down.
My side pounded the ground with too much force. A grunt was forced through my lips, and a gasping wheeze followed as I strained for a new breath. After a minute, I was breathing normally again, and the pain dulled. I scowled at the wicked lattice and vicious vines.
"This night is just freaking wonderful," I griped to myself while heaving my protesting body upright.
I picked up my bags and threw them in my car. Fortunately, I wasn't blocked in, and I kept my lights off until I reached the end of the driveway. I was glad my car was so quiet. And with so many coming and going, they never even noticed the car cranking.
I turned on my lights and headed toward the airport. This had been the worst week of my life. I needed comfort and warmth. I was sick of the snow and the cold. I was sick of the magic. I was sick of the lies I had believed to be truths, and all of the rules disguised to seem arbitrary, when they actually held such severe consequences.
I was tired of learning about all the ways magic could ruin my life before I could even use it. I was exhausted from constantly being confused and feeling like I had just moved to another planet. I couldn't rest or relax anywhere there.