Okay, so maybe I’m projecting. A little.
“I thought…” She pauses and blows out a reluctant breath. “Anyway, are you still seeing that girl?”
That girl… She says it like Bella is no one special, as though she thinks she’s the only one who ever meant anything at all.
“Honestly, I don’t think so, but don’t get any ideas. I’ll never fucking touch you again.”
She winces like I’ve struck her, and I stand, leaning against the wall for balance. When I start to stumble, Star grabs my side and pulls my arm across her shoulders.
“Don’t,” I growl.
“I’m just helping you walk before you fall and break your face. It’s a nice face, and I don’t want to see it smashed.”
I roll my eyes, but relent, leaning on her a little as she helps me toward my bedroom. My legs get sturdier with each step, and just as I’m about to take my arm off her, a familiar face is suddenly in front of me with hurt screaming at me from her eyes.
I guess Bella has finally decided to stop ignoring me. Everything seems to revolve around her timetable. Fuck that.
I could easily push Star away, drop to floor on my knees, and beg Bella not to think anything is going on. But why bother? Even when I don’t fuck things up, she can still goes days without speaking to me. Doesn’t matter that I hate going a day at all without speaking to her. Doesn’t matter that I’ve felt like a pussy-ass bitch for pining for her, because she’s been too busy avoiding me.
Now she shows up and has the audacity to look hurt?
She stands there like she’s waiting for an explanation as to why my arm is around Star’s shoulders. Or why we’re heading in the direction of the bedroom.
I’ll probably regret it later, but I’m too drunk and pissed off to care right now.
Instead of explaining, I reach down and pull Star closer, squeezing her ass for good measure. Hurt and anger flashes in Bella’s eyes as I wink at her.
“What? Did you forget you’re not the only one I ever felt?” I ask. “Oh, that’s right. You thought you were special.”
But I really do fucking regret that the second I say it, despite the cloud of alcohol numbing me. Because for the first time since I’ve known her, Bella’s eyes water, and two tears spring out before she can wipe them away.
Guilt and anger hit me at once, but this time, I’m angry at myself instead of her.
Star leans into me as Bella darts away, and I shove Star off me, not giving a damn if she gets hurt or not as I drunkenly stagger my way toward the door, once again chasing the girl who loves to run from me. When I reach the outside, I’m just in time to see her red Acura driving away, and I curse, stumbling my way down the sidewalk on my way to her house.
A heaviness settles on my chest as the consequences of my actions take root and resonate. I’ve always been the guy to push people one step too far, but this time, I took it about thirty steps too far.
I collapse about five yards from her house when I don’t see her car, and I drop to my back, too fucking drunk to stand back up. I have to find her before she does something just to get me back, because Bella is my equal, and I’ve just triggered a time bomb.
I’d kill any guy who touched her, but she doesn’t know that. No, I stupidly thought of this awesome idea to piss her off so much that she’s bound to do something just as stupid. Just like the night she squeezed herself between two assholes that I wanted to punch on the dance floor.
But that was then. That was before I fully fell for her. That was before I decided I’d never be done with Bella no matter how much of her I got.
“What’s up?” Wren answers, and I dumbly remember I’ve dialed him.
“I need a lift. And Bella,” I say, at least I think that’s what I say.
“What? What’s a sifting hella?”
Apparently that’s not what I said after all.
“A lift. And Bella,” I state more plainly, trying to annunciate. I wish Bella hadn’t been able to understand me, but the alcohol is seriously kicking my ass after that short walk.
“Where are you?” he asks as a car door dings. “And how fucking drunk are you?”
“Not far from Bella’s, and really fucking drunk. Bring backup,” I tell him as my eyes shut and I fall back. Where’d my whiskey glass go? I had it in my hand earlier…
Darkness takes over my vision, and despite my protests, my fight to stay awake ends in vain.