Perfectly Toxic (Sterling Shore 9)

Chapter 58

BELLA

“Ethan was passed out drunk not far from your house, and now he’s at my house. Wren is trying to wake him up, and you’re an absolute mess in here. What the hell?” Allie asks as I wipe furiously at the tears on my face.

I stood up for him, told Allie he was an honorable guy, and he reminds me how I’m nothing special to him. Yeah, sure. I expected him to be upset after a week of no contact, which is why I went to talk to him in person. I needed to get my emotions in check before speaking to him, and that took longer than expected.

I had no idea if I was going to tell him about the baby tonight, but I knew for sure I was going to tell him how I feel about him. I was going to apologize for the silent treatment, and I wasn’t going to make excuses. After all, he did the same thing to me, and I got pissed.

Guess I deserved this. Then again, I always knew I was one of a thousand instead of one in a thousand. I guess there was some denial left after all, because I really thought I was special to Ethan Noles.

I shouldn’t have called Allie and asked if I could crash at one of Wren’s condos. But I couldn’t stand the thought of Ethan finding me like this. What if he came to apologize for being a world class asshole and saw me bawling my eyes out over him?

No. Hell no. I do have some pride left.

I went to tell him I love him, and he tore my heart out through my throat. Lovely. A week of the silent treatment was apparently too much. He went from liking me to hating me in that short amount of time.

At least I got my answer, even if it wasn’t the one I hoped for. No one who loves you would be able to grab another woman in front of you, and tell you that you meant nothing to them.

Axe-murderers have a bigger heart than that. At least they kill you swiftly.

Allie’s words register about him being passed out near my house. I’m not sure what that means, but it doesn’t mean what I want it to. It was obvious he and Star were heading toward the bedroom, and their arms were around each other.

Silently, I waited for him to tell me it was a big misunderstanding… That it wasn’t what it looked like. I’d have believed him without question. There was no way I was going to simply read the situation wrong and get my panties in a wad over nothing.

Then… Then he told me my worst nightmare was real, and all I can wonder is how long it took him to go to her. How little did I mean to him in order for him to move on so quickly?

I haven’t even been able to stomach the thought of another guy touching me for too long. But Ethan goes to the one girl he once loved. The one girl he saw a future with.

I was just the runner up who believed I was special long enough to get pregnant with his child.

Fucking idiot. Idiot. Idiot! I hate myself so hard right now.

“Bella? You in there?” Allie asks, tapping on the side of my head. “I’m not going away until you tell me what happened. Did you tell him you’re pregnant?”

I shake my head immediately, and I swallow down the painful lump in my throat as the image of him grabbing Star’s ass while telling me how unimportant I was to him invades my mind.

“No.”

“Damn it, then what happened?” Allie persists, playing my role once again.

“I saw the Ethan everyone else gets,” I say harshly, shedding tears of anger and… agony. Definitely agony. “I found out I wasn’t so special after all.”

The weight on my chest grows heavier with every breath, and the lump doubles in size when I even think about speaking again. One word is all it would take for the dam to break, and I’d never stop crying.

Instead of speaking, I look at her with trembling lips, and her look softens. She reads between the lines, knows I’m at my limits, and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me close as I cry on her shoulder.

It all hurts too much, and it’s overwhelming. A baby with a man who is with another woman. How the hell can I tell him now? What would happen if I did?

Life is so fucked up.

Chapter 59

ETHAN

I wake up when I’m suddenly gasping water into my lungs, and I push off the bottom of whatever I’m in until air hits me and I gasp it in.

Rye and Wren are glaring at me from the edge of the pool, and I cough out the water that got in my lungs.