Breaking Even (Sterling Shore 5)

Chapter 9

RYE

“Motherfucker!” I roar as piss splashes all around, and I’m forced to painfully cut it off mid-stream.

Some stupid fucking piece of clear plastic shit is on my toilet, blocking anything from getting in. I knew she did something! Damn it!

Peeling away the disgusting plastic wrap, I finish my morning piss, cursing the entire time. Why didn’t I think of that?

I climb inside the shower and flip it on. I’m in desperate need of a good shower now, thanks to the fucking piss bath she set me up for. I use the keypad on the side, turning on all the showerheads at the same time, but instead of a clean shower, I’m met by the damn sticky rainbow from hell.

Purple, orange, red, green, pink... all the colors collide like Lucky Charms just threw up, and I growl as I leap out, covered in the syrupy, grainy shit. What the fucking hell? Is that Kool-Aid?

When did she do this? How did she do this? I locked the window.

I’ve been trying to forget her, but right now she’s making that pretty impossible. After a few more seconds, the fruity rainbow ceases and clear water rushes out in its place. Fucking finally.

My shower takes longer since I have to wash off all the damn Kool-Aid, but I finish up and head straight for the coffee. I refuse to go to the living room until I have to because I know I’ll look across the street. She should be gone to work by now, and I can map out my payback plan.

The very thought strikes an uneasy chord in me. Did I ruin it all with that kiss? Can we just forget it happened?

The coffee finishes, and I add the sugar, stirring it absently as I think back to being between her legs, feeling her wanting me just as much as I wanted her. I’m forced to grip the edge of the counter and forget the coffee for a minute.

I’ve been in that same position numerous times, and I’ve never walked away. But until last night, I’ve never wanted anything that badly. And it’s freaking me the hell out.

I need liquor instead of coffee, but it’ll have to do—since I have work. I chug the cup, but I’m spewing, spitting, and gagging in the very next second. Son of a bitch!

I dump out the foul cup of coffee and grab the sugar. She did not just use the oldest trick in the book.

She did. A small taste confirms it; she swapped the sugar for salt.

Unbelievable.

My reflexes have me stalking toward the front door despite the fact that I’m just wearing my towel, but the second I open the door, I remember I can’t just show up over there and pretend nothing happened. What have I done?

Then I see her car still parked, looking untouched. She doesn’t have work today?

***

RYE

Why’d I have to go and kiss her? And why can’t I stop thinking about it? I could have said anything in this world and confused he

r less. Fuck, now I’m confused, too.

I feel... I feel stupid.

“You look like shit,” Tag says as he walks into my office.

“You look like a betraying bastard,” I retort, glaring at him as he sighs and drops to the chair.

He studies me for a minute, and then he finally leans up.

“When I met Ash, I wanted her. But in less than a day, I felt more for her than I had felt for any other girl. Insta-love? No. But I was definitely spellbound. I was a dick that didn’t want to feel that. By the time I was ready, I had already pushed her away. A lot of people judge her for her decision to hide our first pregnancy from me, but they shouldn’t.”

He stands and walks over to my mini-fridge to pull out a bottle of water, and I wait on this drama-fest to end. It’s not the same. It’s not even close, but he doesn’t know the sordid details of my hidden truths because I’ve never told him. The only friends of mine who know are Ethan Noles and Wren Prize.

Tag continues, and I let him, because I can’t tell him how different we are. “I had chances. I could have gone to her at any time. I knew where she was, had her number, and even wanted to see her, but I was too stubborn to admit it. We’re creatures of habit, and I think we both know what my habits involved at that time. One woman barely seemed sufficient. But when I finally gave in, I realized that what I thought I wanted was empty. Ash filled a void in my life that I didn’t know was there. I was just trying to do for you what no one—including Wren—did when I was in the same position. Guess I was wrong.”