Breaking Even (Sterling Shore 5)

***

RYE

I drop the flowers on the ground, along with the birthday present I always bring her. She loved those stupid coffees from the gas stations. Why? I don’t know. But she preferred it over gourmet coffee, so I bring a cup every year.

“Figured I’d find you here,” Ethan says as I stand up from the grave.

I smile weakly at him. I hate this day. Always have.

It’s a day full of guilt, fury, and what-ifs. But today the guilt outshines all else, mingling with a little sadness that I don’t usually feel. For some reason, my anger is absent, and I wish it would return. I don’t like being without it. I’ve grown used to having it to lean on like a crutch.

“We still on for drinks?” I ask, turning back to fix the fresh flowers in front of her tombstone.

Lilies. She loved lilies.

“You know it. I’m surprised Brin isn’t with you. She seems like the super supportive type. I didn’t expect to find you here alone.”

Brin... It’s getting too serious. She wanted to say something last night, and then she backed out. I was drunk, but I remember it. And then today she started in with trying to get me to admit something by making me jealous. Silk is always crawling with people who want to find a girl for the night, and she’s heard me say that before.

“Brin doesn’t know about this. And you need to back off of it. It’s not serious, it’s not going anywhere, and she and I are just having fun. That’s it. You of all people should understand that.”

He frowns as he glances at the grave, and I pull the last present out of my pocket. The tombstone was made with a locking frame and bulletproof glass—to keep someone from breaking it. I unlock it and change the picture out, just like I do every year.

This time it’s her sitting with me when I was five, reading me the Dr. Seuss story of the week.

“Just for fun?” he asks as I finish locking the case back up.

“Yep.”

He sighs out heavily, and he joins me as we walk away. The coffee cup sits proudly beside her grave, and I give my mother one last look before turning away.

“Is this because of your mom? Because it’s not healthy to—”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” I warn.

He frowns, but wisely doesn’t say a word as we make it back to the road. “I’ll meet you there in ten,” I say, climbing inside the car.

As he drives off, I wipe away the stupid fucking tear that falls.

I really hate this day.

***

BRIN

“So he thinks you’re at Silk with me?” Maggie asks as I start sifti

ng through the mail.

“Not yet. He thinks we’re going to Silk, though.”

“Should we really go?”

“Nope,” I say, finding an unusual letter that is from John’s address, but it’s not his handwriting.

Curious as to what shit he’s done now, I open it. When I start reading it, I get sick. That stupid son of a bitch! I’m going to kill him.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie asks.