“Shit.”
If they were right, and she hadn’t been taking care of herself, she may be back in the hospital sooner than any of them would like. They would have to quiz her friend on what her habits had been since she came to.
He knew the lack of proper nutrition while in the hospital probably contributed to her paleness and some of the weight loss, but he felt like there was more going on.
Pepper hadn’t meant to fall asleep, she just wanted everything to go back to what it was. To have Nick and Ace loving her, Roxie running wild in the snow. She wanted the happiness she’d felt before.
Before things had gone to hell again.
When her head had touched the chilly window, exhaustion swamped her. For the first time since waking up in a strange room with a dog on her feet and strange men asking if she was okay, she had felt safe. She had felt home.
As the vehicle slowed to a crawl, she knew they must be getting to the curve in Nick’s driveway. Stretching, she opened her eyes to see what had last been a demolished cabin, rebuilt. Bigger. They had to have added at least one more room on.
“Wow.” She was in awe. “How did you manage this so quickly?” She worked at a construction company, and they couldn’t build that fast in the city, let alone on a snowy mountain.
“We haven’t had much to do,” Ace answered her.
“Lots of friends from town have been helping out, as well,” Nick told her as he stopped the vehicle.
“You added another room?” She was still in shock at the progress.
“Yeah,” was all that was said.
Stepping down from her seat after Ace opened the door, she got light-headed, having to catch herself on the door frame and Ace’s arm as he helped her.
“You alright?” Everyone kept asking her that.
“I’m fine,” she mumbled, not wanting to admit that she had trouble keeping anything down.
“When’s the last time you ate?” Nick asked, coming around the front of the vehicle. “Or slept a solid eight hours?”
Before she could answer, Tami pulled in beside them. “Cool digs!” she called from the open window. “The answer to the first question, boys, is yesterday morning and the second, well, when’s the last time she slept here?”
“Tami,” Pepper hissed at her best friend. She could kill her.
Of all the scenarios she pictured when she showed up back in Golden, she hadn’t expected to have to confess all her darkest secrets. Admitting that every time she ate something that crunched, she cringed and vomited, reminding her of Alex’s crunching bones. Or that the color red reminded her of the amount of blood she’d seen spilt all over the mouth of that cave before she’d passed out from fear. And let’s not forget how hearing water boil made her think of him choking on his own blood as he’d died.
She was a hot, damn mess, and there was nothing anyone could do for her. She had to work through it on her own.
The day after she’d woken up, a psychiatrist had spent the entire afternoon with her. They’d talked about what she’d seen, done, heard. The things that scared her most, and what she feared for the future. After listening to the woman speak with her and truly listen to what Pepper had to say, the way she explained the meaning of her nightmares, she had told Pepper that she had to find inner peace with her guilt over his death. She needed to understand that Alex’s choices led to his own death. That while tragic, Pepper was forced to lead him into that cave. She wasn’t at fault. Her conscience would have to guide her as she navigated the self-hatred train.
“Pepper,” Nick called to her softly, a hand on her arm. “Let’s get you inside,” he instructed when she met his eyes.
“Yeah, sure.” She was distracted as Tami talked and asked questions. Distracting both men as she worked through her mind.
“Don’t you get bored? Way out here away from civilization?” Tami chattered on as Pepper heard the tell-tale bark come from Ace opening the door.
She witnessed the minute Roxie spotted her, and the beautiful animal’s eyes lit up with excitement as she bound her way down the steps, knocking Pepper to her ass in a puff of snow. Roxie’s body wiggled as she tried to lick every piece of visible skin.
“Roxie,” she sighed when the dog finally calmed down enough that she could wrap her arms around her. Her whining remained, though, and she loved every second of it.
“Damn. I think I’ve been replaced.” Tami pouted. But Pepper could hear the happiness in her friend’s voice.
As she finally got to her feet, Pepper followed everyone inside, Roxie sticking close to her as she moved. Seeing the house stripped down to its bare bones was shocking. There was a piece of plywood over the floor in the dining room from where the second bomb had gone off.
“Where’s Jake?” She didn’t remember getting any information about him. “Alex said…” Her throat tightened up as she fought to say the words.
“I’m just fine, missy.” The man came from somewhere in the back of the house.