I felt guilty afterwards and told him I had to organize them into my small bookshelf properly. They just couldn’t go wherever. I was met with a raised eyebrow, but no question as to what the order was. I then found myself explaining that they had to go into categories and that each category then had to be alphabetized.
When he choked on his water, I shut up and just started doing it. I haven’t said a word since. I’ve heard him murmuring a couple of times, but nothing I understood. His phone has been dinging with text messages almost constantly, and for a brief, guilt-stricken moment, I half hoped he’d have to go so I didn’t feel like such a fool.
Needing relief from his powerful aura, I find myself in my room, pulling my new suitcase with me. Digging through my drawers for my comfy sweats and loose t-shirt that go everywhere with me, I get distracted thinking about the look of heat he watches me with.
“Christ, Ari. Get a damn grip, girl.” I left the room to get away from him, and now, I’m thinking about him? “No. Stop it.”
“Everything okay in there?” I hear him call.
Rushing to the door frame, I see he’s getting up to come to me. “No, no, everything’s fine.” I rush to ease his worry as he continues towards my room. Shit. There’s a bed in here. He can’t come in here. “Uh, dinner, we should eat. I can cook? Or we could go out? Whatever.” I recognize the amusement in his eyes, and I know he sees through my bluster.
Standing in front of me, Arsen sneaks a peek into my room. His eyes stop on my small bed with a frown. He doesn’t say anything as he looks back down at me. “Whatever you want to do.”
I’m struck dumb by the heat and lust in his whiskey eyes, shining brightly with what he wants. Me.
Swallowing hard, I try and step forward. It’s harder than it looks when you have to pass through his brick wall body. “Out, we should go out.” I’m not ready for anything more yet. I want to be. I just can’t. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. Maybe if I knew he would stick around after I told him my secret, but not now. Which means we need to leave. Immediately.
Without warning, Arsen’s lips capture mine. They’re smooth, soft, not controlling. More like relishing in the act. He doesn’t push for more. Again, he just caresses. I like it. Too much. I can feel my body warming to his. Lighting up in ways I don’t quite want to explore at this moment.
“Soon, Marina. Real soon,” he says as he pulls my hand and drags my lustful body behind his. I’m on fire for this man, and he knows, somewhere deep in his gut, that I’m not ready. More shocking is that he respects that.
I can feel my heart slowly cracking open for him. I don’t want it to. I want to remain cold and aloof, but he won’t let me. With him feeding my desire to be his “good girl” and respecting my space and needs, how am I supposed to ward him off when he’s so damn sweet?
Arsen
I don’t know what’s up with Marina, she’s got some serious fucking demons hiding away inside of her beautiful mind, but I’m bound and determined to batter down her walls. Giving her space seems to be the way to do it. Relief colors her eyes every time things get heated, and she needs me to back off.
Watching her all afternoon as she cleaned and stumbled around her apartment was amusing. She tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid any contact with me. I know the way I kept an eye on her made her nervous, but I couldn’t stop it if I tried.
Marina is the breath of fresh air that I’ve been desperate for, for far too long. She needs me every bit as much as I’ve come to need her.
I had to distract myself from wanting her, so I’d began texting my brother Kol, filling him in on my new-found interest. Like me, he’s also a detective but three hours away in Knoxville. Police work is in our blood; we come from a long line of law enforcement in some way. Whether it was the army, cops, or some sort of court officer, every man in our family is tied to it.
Kol and I fell into it naturally. Our younger sister, Ember, is still in college, studying to become a social worker. She loves kids and wants to help them any way she can. This avenue gives her some authority.
Ember was an oops baby as our parents used to say. Kol is only three years younger than me at thirty-two, while Ember is turning twenty in the spring. She was the light of our parent’s eye until they died in a car crash together five years ago.
It was a freak accident that no one was to blame for. Could have happened to anyone. A deer jumped in front of them on the highway, and they wound up hitting a power pole on the side of the road. They both died on impact.
We took solace in the fact that they were together, at least. Paramedics found them holding hands, so they likely knew what was coming. Ember was hit the hardest. She was just about to start her freshman year in high school, and she and Mom had an epic trip to Europe planned. Kol and I took her instead. Spreading their ashes off a cliff in Greece, letting them rest in a place they both loved so much. In turn, it granted us the acceptance we were looking for.
Ember stayed in Knoxville with Kol so she could finish high school and start college without having to worry about expenses. Our parents left us all a good chunk of change from their life insurance policy, but Ember only gets an allowance until she’s twenty-three. Living with Kol gives he and I a small sense of relief. Knowing she’s protected. Otherwise, I’m not sure either of us would have let her go to college so easily.
Kol kept sending back stupid love pictures to my phone that made me want to throttle him. Once I sent him a snapshot of Marina reaching up to a shelf, a secret smile on her face with her hair trailing down her back, that shut the bastard right up. He congratulated me and proclaimed himself busy with a case.
I know Kol’s a little envious. He is a bit more sensitive than most men. He wants to settle down, has for years. I understand his feelings more than he likely knows. Having Marina in my life now has eased the loneliness in my heart.
“Arsen?” Marina’s soft voice whispers from beside me in my truck, drawing me from my thoughts. I can’t stand having space between us, and this time she scoots over. It gives me hope.
“Yeah, baby?” I keep my eyes on the road.
It takes her a minute before she speaks again. “I’ve never done this before.”
I do look at her then. “Done what?”
“Dating.” She bites her lip like she wants to take the word back, but her pride won’t let her.
Frowning and confused, I ask, “How old are you, Marina?” Nico said she was young, and I’d figured as much myself, but I have a feeling she’s even younger than I suspected.