Until Arsen (Daniels Family 1)

Would I have liked to see her round with our child in the future? Absolutely. But my love for her doesn’t hinge on whether or not she can bear children for me.

Love. She said she was falling in love with me.

I didn’t say jackshit back.

Motherfucker.

Chapter Ten

Marina

He left.

Gone.

Smoke in the wind.

Not a word from Arsen in three days since I told him my biggest secret. A secret that could make or break me as a woman. Right now, I’m feeling pretty fucking broken.

I should hate him, but I think I love him.

I should curse him, but I miss him down to my soul.

I shouldn’t shed a tear for him, but we could have been everything.

After sending him a quick text the following day when I didn’t hear from him and not receiving an answer back, my heart broke a little more. Because of that, I’ve been avoiding everyone all week, including my mother’s phone calls. Because every time I try to talk, tears clog my throat. He broke me when he promised to be here. I can’t even bring myself to curse him because I don’t blame him for running. He’s old enough to know what he wants in life, and what he doesn’t want is a defective woman.

He could have said so my inner voice keeps screaming at me. I wish he would have.

After watching the evening news that day, I understand he’s extremely consumed with an important case. I have even tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by making excuses about being busy. Catching the bad guys. Going through evidence.

Anything but this silence.

Making a quick decision this morning, I’m now on my way to my parents’ early. I need to get out of my apartment, away from sheets that still smell like Arsen. I need to regroup and refresh my mind. Come home stronger.

Fayetteville is considered a small city compared to some, but it’s rather large for the state. I loved growing up there. The history is rich with stories from hundreds of years past, and I’m hoping to do more than sulk around my childhood home.

I have a lunch scheduled with a few girls form high school on Saturday, but other than that I’m planning to take some photos of the buildings in The Square while I’m here for my annual “What Did You Do This Summer” back-to-school day. I want the children to work on their short-term memory, and last year, the exercise proved to be enlightening.

The drive home is long, and after stopping mid-way for dinner, I’m back on the highway again. The roads are busier than normal for mid-week, and my nerves are beginning to get the best of me as multiple semi-trucks cruise by at high speeds. My heart threatens to beat out of my chest when a gust of wind rocks one so heavily that I have to slam on my brakes to avoid the vehicle side-swiping my tiny car.

Screeching to a halt on the side of the road, I lay my head on the steering wheel while my body vibrates with fear. Regret churns my stomach as I contemplate heading back home. Just turning around and suffering through my pain.

I’ve tried so hard to ignore my fear of getting back on the highway. I’ve avoided it for over a year. I’ve tried to put that anxiety behind me, but it seems it’s not working so well.

Digging through my purse, I search for my phone, needing to hear Arsen’s voice. I need his cool calm right now. Even knowing he’s not in this for the long haul, I just need a piece of him.

Finding the device, I dial his number and pray he answers. Disappointment wilts my frame as his voicemail picks up. “This is Detective Arsen Daniels, if this is an emergency, dial 911 for help; otherwise, I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

When the beep indicates I speak, I freeze. What do you I even say? Clearing my throat, I stumble words out. “Hi Arsen, it’s Marina. I’m sorry for bothering you. I just needed…well, it doesn’t matter, I guess. Bye.” Hitting end, I slip the phone back into my purse and slowly merge into the highway traffic, relieved to see no more semi-trucks around.

The rest of the drive is uneventful, and when I do get to my parents’, I’m grateful it’s so late, and they’re in bed. I’m able to slink up to my room and wallow in misery without my mother breathing down my neck.

Arsen

I hadn’t meant to stay so out of touch with Marina, but this entire case has had the whole department in a tailspin. After seeing the video of the possible killer, we were able to track the guy down, and he ran. Like most criminals do.

After a twelve-block chase and tackle, I apprehended him, busting my phone in the process. I haven’t had a chance to get a new one, and now, as I park in front of Marina’s, I fucking hope she’ll forgive me for not calling her sooner.