I’m going to get hurt.
Pushing the negative thought to the back of my mind, I decide to enjoy this one evening with Reed. The way he smiles, how he always puts me first. When he opens the truck door and helps me down, I fall into his chest, and if it weren’t for the baby doing a flip, I think he would have kissed me. But I pulled away too quickly.
“Burgers?” I blurt out instead.
“MShack?” I nod in response. They have the thickest shakes.
Sitting down to eat, I see the way people stare at Reed, with lust and interest in their eyes. But I don’t believe he notices. Anytime I sneak a look towards him, his eyes are always on me.
The hairs on my arms stand up when he speaks, and when he touches me, sliding a finger down my arm, caressing my cheek, I could get lost in the feelings he’s beginning to evoke in me.
Because of my disorder, dating has never piqued my interest. I've had no idea how to approach a man, let alone read how he feels about me, but Reed makes me want to.
In a lot of ways, I wish some things could be different, but I wouldn’t change my situation for the world. Not for anyone.
I just hope he can forgive me when he finds out the truth.
3
Reed
Every cop I know savors the uneventful days on the job. We relish in them because it means we’re doing our jobs, and the citizens are safe. The downside is that it also means a twelve-hour tour feels like twenty-four.
I’m halfway through my day of working on a ton of paperwork I need to catch up on, and all I can think about is Hope. The way she smiles, laughs, even when she’s not sure when to laugh. It wasn’t until after we’d eaten and been in two stores that she relaxed around me last night.
We talked about nothing overly important but enough for me to get an understanding of who she is. She loves comedy movies, drama TV shows, and romance books. She’d like to travel to Iceland one day to see the northern lights. After watching a documentary about it, she became fascinated. Other than that, Hope is a simple girl just looking to live a quiet life.
We didn’t talk much about our romantic lives because it seemed to make her uncomfortable when I asked her about family and the future. But I get the feeling she hasn’t dated too much, and I think that can be attributed to her shyness. I also made it clear to her that I was single and interested. Her ruddy blush afterwards was endearing.
When we returned home, she was too tired to stay up for me to put the shelf together, so I promised to do it tonight and managed to snag her cell number. That alone felt like a victory. I sent her a message a few minutes ago to ask how she’s feeling, and the wait for an answer is killing me.
When I do finally hear my phone ding, I’m disappointed to see it’s my brother, Theo.
Theo: Any cabin rentals down there you recommend?
Contemplating his question, I recall my captain has one he often lets our squad use when we need some R&R.
Me: I might. What’s up?
Theo: My girl needs space from life here. Need somewhere quiet.
Me: The shooting at the college?
Theo: And so much fucking more…
Standing up, I stride towards my captain’s office. “Got a sec?” I ask.
Looking up from his computer, he waves me in. “What’s up, Burkhart?”
“Anyone using the cabin this weekend?” I’ve never asked, so he perks up.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. My brother’s girl was involved in the shooting we heard about last week, and he wants to get her out of town for a bit. Give her a place to regain some perspective.”
Without a word, he opens his desk drawer and tosses me a set of keys. “It’s theirs as long as they need it. You know the address?”
“I do. Thanks, man.” I text Theo as I walk back to my desk.