Not sure if she would even want to because she hadn’t made contact before the postcard, he told Nate he’d see what she had to say. Walking back to the house, he could tell Nate wasn’t happy with his answer but he refused to force her to do something she wasn’t ready for or didn’t want.
Slipping inside and going right to the back door, he knocked lightly on the frame so as not to scare her. “Sunshine,” he said gently.
When she turned to look at him, the peaceful expression vanished as soon as she saw the phone. Eyes glued to it, she didn’t even look at his face before she started shaking her head no, tears welling in her eyes, ready to slide down her creamy cheeks.
“Sunshine,” Creed sighed. “It’s Nate,” he told her, going to kneel in front of her. He laid the phone on her lap, her eyes followed the its movement as he said, “Kennedy.” Calling more firmly, making her look him in the eye before explaining, “He just wants to hear your voice, to know you’re here. That your ok.”
Shaking her head, she tried to explain, “They want the old Kennedy, though. They don’t know. They don’t understand. I heard everything all the time. The arguments, the crying, and praying. How they just wanted me back. But they don’t know me anymore. I don’t know me anymore. How can they possibly want that?”
“Christ, Sunshine.” Placing both his hands on her face Creed brought their heads closer, forehead to forehead, nose to nose. Looking into her eyes he told her simply, “They just want you. In any shape or form they can have you. They love you, Ken, never fucking doubt that.”
Grabbing the phone he placed it to her ear, not moving away as she broke down as soon as she said, “Nate?”
·?•? ?•?·
Hearing her brother with such emotion in his voice had her heart cramping from causing her family so much obvious grief.
“Kenny? Oh God, Ken, your voice, it’s like music to my ears! Are you ok?”
Not sure how to answer, she nodded her head as the tears started dripping out from her eyelids and down her cheeks. She watched in fascination as they landed on her curled up fists. She could hear Nate talking to her, telling her how much they missed her and hoped she’d come home soon, or maybe they could come there. As soon as he said that she knew she had to interrupt— she loved her family, but she wasn’t ready.
“I can’t, Nate. I just can’t.”
?
?What do you mean you can’t? Can’t what? Come home? That’s fine, we can come to you, Kenny.”
“No, Nate. You don’t understand. I’m not ready.” Trying to find the words so he would understand was harder than she thought. “I need to find me again. I love you guys with my entire heart and soul, but I can’t be around you right now. It’s just so hard. I have to figure out who I am now.”
“You can’t do that around us? We would never force you to do something you couldn’t, but Kenny, Mom and the dads are so worried about you; so are me and Ty. We can help if you’d just let us.” She knew they loved her and wanted to help but he just wasn’t getting it which was starting to make her angry.
“Nate, I need you to understand that I’m not that girl anymore. I don’t find pleasure in anything. I’m in a world of black when I used to live in the sunshine and color. I can’t see that anymore. I need for you to understand that this is what’s best for me. Maybe not for you guys, but for me this is right. I need to find my place in this world again and you guys would suffocate me with your need to fix me.” Out of breath, she waited for that to sink in.
“Kenny… We just want to see with our own eyes that you’re ok,” he kept insisting making her anger stronger.
“For fucks sake Nathaniel, listen to me!” she screamed, making Creed wince but he never moved. It was the strength he gave her that had her telling Nate, “I’m fighting a losing battle here. Every day is a struggle to wake up, and the last thing I need or want to do is pretend I’m fine to appease everyone. Because that’s what will happen, and then I’ll start losing myself again, Nate.” She sobbed out the last part before taking a deep breath and continuing on. “I nearly lost the fight, Nate. I need to do this for me. I have to find the new me now. I can be better when I do; I can live again. But you guys have to understand it could take time. Please understand, Nate.” She nearly begged for him to get it.
“I get you Kenny; I hear you. I don’t like it, but I get it. You call me, you hear? I wanna hear your voice, and when your ready, I wanna hear everything you have to tell me. You got it, kid?”
Fighting to talk around the huge lump in her throat, she managed to say, “I hear you, Nate.”
“I love you, kid. We all do. Now give the phone back to that grouchy bastard,” he said with more humor in his voice than she’d heard in too long.
Handing the phone to Creed, she closed her eyes relishing in the knowledge that Nate would understand and make her family come to terms with why she needed more time. When Creed didn’t pull away, she opened her eyes to see him watching her with such tenderness in his gaze as he hung up with Nate.
Smiling softly at him drew his gaze to her lips while he whispered, “So fucking proud of you, Sunshine.”
Before she could even think of a reply, his lips landed softly on hers. Lightly caressing, he seemed to savor her touch. When she didn’t pull away, he nipped her bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. As she closed her eyes and let out a breathy sigh, he delved into her mouth with his tongue, taking her on a languid and sensual ride of awakening.
She’d been kissed before but never had she had a boy take the time to taste her the way he was. He didn’t rush, he savored, explored. Took his time letting her explore him. When she tentatively touched her tongue to his, he let out a small, sultry moan.
As he deepened the kiss and took her to a place she’d never been, Kennedy felt like she was spinning out of control, her heart beating so fast it felt like it would explode. The blood in her veins was warmer than it had ever been, and her body practically vibrated in pleasure. But what she loved most was how he didn’t push her for more. He seemed to know her boundary and respect it as he slowed the kiss down to small nips and licks before pulling away completely and giving her the sexiest smirk she’d ever seen.
“Hi,” she whispered feeling silly.
“You’re beautiful when you smile, Sunshine,” he whispered back.
“Damn beautiful,” Linc purred in her ear from behind.