Kennedy's Redemption (The Protectors 3)

Hearing them fight and talk as if she weren’t in the room wasn’t helping either. When Creed started humming, she’d closed her eyes and begged for mercy, begged to break free of the quiet she was stuck in. Begged to connect. She’d started humming without thought on her part, but when he tried to put his hand on her knee all she saw was that hand. The one that brought her so much pain.

Whispering drew her attention to where Linc was standing with Dee at the door. She had no idea how much time had passed since the guys found her on the rock wall and scared her so bad she nearly fell in, but it was dark now, so she figured a few hours had to have been passed at least.

They stepped back from the door and she was shocked to see Dr. Schroder standing there assessing her with his kind eyes. When it got to be too much, she looked back down at her hands in her lap.

“Hello, Miss Maxwell,” he greeted as he came to sit in the chair beside her couch.

Fear held her throat closed so tightly she could barely swallow. She was so tired of fear being all she felt anymore. It was sickening, but she was trapped. It held a death grip on her heart and mind.

“How are you today, Kennedy?” He was trying to reach her with familiarity. She saw it for what it was. Too many things had been happening around her and he probably thought it might help.

It didn’t. If anything, it constricted her throat even more because she felt the need to respond but couldn’t force the words out.

After a few minutes of silence, she dared a look up to see everyone watching her. When she clashed gazes with the doctor she could see his eyes searching hers. Looking for clues as to what she needed, but she didn’t know what she needed so how was she to tell him. She felt fragmented, far more so now than ever before.

Every noise was her laughter; every shadow was him watching.

It was a never-ending nightmare that she couldn’t fight her way out of.

When he clapped his hands together and looked away asking, “Where’s her drawing pad and pencils?” everyone seemed to jump at once in search of them.

“Found them!” She heard the victory in Dee’s voice like she’d found the one thing to help her. Only she was terrified she was beyond help now.

As he placed them in her lap, she stared at them for what felt like hours when a pencil was placed in her hand. Leaning forward he told her, “Just feel.” Like it was so simple.

Turned out it was. He helped her open to a clean page and she began scribbling what she thought were just random lines at first when they suddenly turned into a great swell of a wave. Pausing to look at it, she heard the murmurs around her but didn’t pay attention to what was being said, rather focusing on her drawing.

As she kept moving the pencil, erasing and redrawing, faces became clear. Her parents, her brothers, Keeley, Dee, and finally a blurred circle of what could have been her, Linc, and Creed. It was still unclear on what they were.

Placing her pencil down she looked up to see everyone tense as if waiting for something. “Can I see it, Kennedy?” Dr. Schroder asked her.

She held it to her chest protectively, not knowing what the drawing actually meant so sharing it felt like she was exposing herself. Exposing emotions she wasn’t ready to reveal yet.

“Please?” he implored with such a compassionate look in his light green eyes that she found herself passing her sketch pad over.

He spent so much time studying each line and shade that she started to fidget and cast uncertain glances around the room, never able to focus on one thing for more than a second or two.

When he spoke again she felt the blood drain from her face; her blood turned to ice in her veins. “Your family is whole and happy on one side yet you feel out of depth in the middle with this young woman — I’m sorry dear, I didn’t get your name…” he trails off.

“Uhh, Dee is fine,” she tells him with a watchful eye.

“Right. You feel out of depth in your friendship with Dee. You want to tell her but you’re afraid to. I can understand that and I’m betting she will too. What troubles me is the blur you’re feeling with these men.”

A loud gulp breaks the silence as he inspects the drawing and, in turn, Creed and Linc. Realizing the noise came from her, her face flames in embarrassment. “Tell me, Kennedy. You’re overwhelmed with them?” Nod. “You feel like your mind and heart are at war where they’re concerned?” Nod. “You want to move forward, but something’s holding you back?” Nod.

“Sunshine?” Creed asks beside her, grabbing her hand. “Is this too much for you? Are we too much for you?” The uncertainty in his eyes held her captive and made her heart ache. She reached deep inside her soul for the answer but came up empty. Needing to move past the pain she was feeling, she wasn’t sure how to answer so she shook her head no. They weren’t too much; her feelings for them were.

Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. It was when they did simple things like that, that she thought she would be ok to let them in. To let them know everything— the good and the bad.

“Kennedy?” Dr. Schroder’s voice had her looking to him again. “You need closure.”

Shock held her immobile. Had someone asked her what she needed in that moment she couldn’t have said with any certainty what it was, but as soon as he mentioned it she knew he was right. She had so many unanswered questions about her abduction and torture, and she was too afraid to put voice to them to get the answers she needed.

“I can see in your eyes you never thought of that, did you?” Shaking her head no, he continued. “I want you to think, Kennedy… if you could ask one question, get just one answer, what would it be?”

She thought about it long and hard. One thing that had always bothered her more than everything else that had happened to her was why? Why torture her? They had been after Emily, yet Emily had very minor injuries compared to her own. She would have the scars as a reminder for the rest of her life, but Emily only had a few memories.

“Why me?” she asked so softly she feared no one heard her.