Kennedy's Redemption (The Protectors 3)

“We know, baby; God, do we know. You’re so strong. So much stronger than either of them ever realized,” Creed told her so convincingly that she almost believed him. But he was wrong, she wasn’t strong; she was this scared, scarred, broken little girl who couldn’t even give herself to the men she was coming to care so deeply for.

·?•? ?•?·

He didn’t want to hear it. No, that’s not true. He didn’t want her to relive it. She was struggling to tell them something they’d already suspected, but getting the words out, telling someone, would be cathartic for her. She needed someone else to know her secrets, to carry her burdens for her.

Creed was at a loss as whether to let her continue on with her pain or to tell her they understood the agony she went through, the pain she endured on a daily basis. Knowing what she needed and giving it to her were vastly different things that nearly brought him to his knees.

He could see the pain she was in vibrating through her body. It was in the tense set of her shoulders, the shadows under her eyes, the way she fidgeted almost hopping from foot to foot. Linc wasn’t helping his own nerves any either. Every tear she shed, he would flex his hands as if he was about to pound someone into the ground.

They all had their demons to banish, but hers were so much worse than he’d imagined. Having the scars on her body as a daily reminder, living in her head for so long by herself before they came to Italy, all of it was compounding into something that was ready to implode on them all. He felt helpless to stop it, but they’d asked for her to open up to them, to let them in, so they could share her pain and help her heal.

When she started to speak again, she had a blank look in her eyes that worried him. “He got pleasure from seeing my pain. Inflicting it. It was like a drug to him. He got this glazed look in his eyes that I didn’t understand at first. Not until he breached me, forced his way in.” Pausing to clear her throat he was left on tenterhooks knowing what was coming but waiting for it nevertheless. “He had this wooden object almost like one of those old wooden spoons for cooking, you know?” Rhetorical he knew, but he nodded his head anyway so she knew he was listening to her every word. “I was already tied down on my stomach and naked by this point. God, he’d whipped my back with a belt I think. I can almost feel the burn and sting of it still when he’d come back in the room from seeing Emily, and he’d had this look in his eyes. Black, dead, evil incarnate. There was nothing but hatred in them. All of it directed at me and I didn’t…, fuck.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “I didn’t get it, not at first. What he was about to do to me? I mean, I was always innocent little Kennedy, beloved sister, surprise daughter. They sheltered me, made sure I never saw any evil in the world. Then they came along and I couldn’t even comprehend their hatred for me. I was so confused.”

He couldn’t take it anymore and from the look on Linc’s face, he didn’t think his brother could either. Getting up, they walked to her. Holding her between them. Creed pulled her to his chest where she buried her face against him taking a deep breath while Linc rubbed soothing circles all along her back and laid gentle kisses across her shoulders as she shattered between them.

“He raped me with a wooden object, Creed. It hurt so fucking bad,” she cried out.

“Sshh.” He tried to soothe.

“But that’s not even the worst part,” she whispered in a broken voice. “He forced it inside me, inside my butt. Oh, God.” She cried once her deepest secret was out, and even though they knew it was coming, he and Linc shared a look of disbelief and pain for her.

·?•? ?•?·

Linc was madder and sadder than he’d ever been in his life. The pain she went through, was still going through, penetrated his soul and made him feel every ounce of hurt she did. He understood far more of what she was telling them than even she did. The pain that resided inside her was worse than what she felt at the hands of those sickos. Now, she was terrified that she would always feel that pain, and it was their job to show her differently.

When she pulled back from Creed’s chest, he cradled her to him leaning her back against his front so she could feel every beat of his heart because every strong beat was meant for her.

“Because of them, I can’t even stand to be touched by my parents. The people who love me most in the world, who protected me, gave me love, can’t even touch me because it burns. It’s like the whip cracking against my skin again.”

“What do you feel when we touch you, Sunshine?” Linc wondered, terrified they were hurting her by trying to love her.

“On the surface it burns. On the inside it soothes.” She sobbed and he got it. More than ever he understood what she was feeling. The need for human touch without the knowledge of what it felt like before was what allowed them to be near her.

Looking to his brother, Linc saw the understanding reflected back at him as they held her while she cried for her loss. Wrapping his arms around her, he held on tightly. Holding her felt like both heaven and hell… Heaven because she was in his arms where he could keep her safe and chase her demons away. Hell because being in his arms brought her demons forth. No matter how much she denied it, he knew without a doubt her skin crawled at his touch. Her mind blanked any pleasure they could have given her and her body vibrated with disgust.

“Tighter, Lincoln. Hold me tighter,” she begged him.

“I got you, Sunshine,” he promised hoping he did.

“One day, Kennedy. One day you’ll get it all back. You won’t be who you used to be but you’ll be stronger, wiser, and have a new appreciation for how much you are loved,” Creed whispered in her ear.

Feeling her sag between them, he looked down to see her watching them with a new light in her eyes. Hope. She was a beacon of hope in that moment. Smiling at her he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before asking, “You ready for some rest, Sunshine?”

“Will you stay with me?” she asked looking between them. “Both of you?”

“Always, Sunshine.” Creed smiled softly down at her.

“Forever,” he told her meaning it.

Thirteen

It had been two nights since Kennedy tried to be intimate with Linc and Creed, and since then they’d shown her such compassion and friendship. Friendship she desperately needed. She realized how much fun it could be to have friends again. To trust again.

They’d told her as much as they could about their work. They were government agents; they did the dirty jobs the US military couldn’t for one reason or another. They couldn’t tell her what exactly they did just that it required them to travel more often than not. She was oddly proud of them; they fought for what was right in the world, saved the good guy and protected the innocent. To her nothing was more attractive than a selfless man.

They, of course, tried to tell her that they weren’t selfless. They took money, killed people, albeit bad people, but to them they were still living beings regardless of what their bosses said. To her they were risking their lives, and that was more selfless than anything.

Today was the day she was to see Dr. Schroder. He’d promised to give her names of some well-known and caring therapists back in Texas, but she was nervous. It felt like a final goodbye, like she was leaving and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face reality again. Even if she knew she had to.