“And did you? Show him I mean? Did you voice any of your fears to him?” her momma asked her, sounding slightly desperate to know that she’d spoken to someone.
“Not until a few days after I sent you that postcard. I have horrible nightmares, and for the longest time Linc and Creed’s voices would pull me back when things got too hard. Too painful.” She had to look away. The pain on her parents’ faces was too much to handle.
“The night before my appointment, the nightmares got so intense that nothing could break me out of them. Not the guys, not waking up. I was stuck and about to burst, so I finally told him about that. It was small, but it was personal. Something I wish I’d done sooner. But it helped, and he put a few things into perspective. I’d like to think that if we hadn’t had that conversation, I wouldn’t have been as open to them as I was.” She smiled at her men after revealing that last part.
Talking to her parents helped ease some of her pain. She’d always been able to talk to them about anything. While she wasn’t ready to tell them about what happened to her, she was glad to be able to share this small part of herself with them. It was almost like a dam had burst and she wanted them to know everything she’d felt and done in Italy. The good things anyway.
“I made a friend there too,” she told them shyly. “She helped me in the market when I had my meltdown. We stayed in the moment, ya know? Never really talked about the past. I think it made it easier for both of us, in a way, to form that bond with no baggage or hang-ups.”
“What’s her name? Does she live there?” her momma asked.
“Deedee, she’s so quirky with crazy hair colors to match her mismatched eyes.” She smiled thinking of her friend. “She’s from Ireland actually, and I think she was heading back there a couple days ago. I’m hoping she calls soon, though; she’d gotten some bad news before she left.” Thinking about it had her worried about the way they’d left things.
Creed and Linc seemed to know that Dominic guy, but she wasn’t so sure. He seemed too refined, too clean cut, with an air of danger he was trying to mask. Looking over at Linc, she knew he would understand her concern. His nod confirmed he’d look into it for her.
“I have your room just the way you left it before your— well before.” The guilt on her momma’s face was heartbreaking.
“It’s ok, Momma,” she soothed.
“We actually have a house ready and waiting for us not far from here,” Creed announced, drawing everyone’s attention. Her parents looked upset but she felt relief. Knowing she wouldn’t have to tiptoe around everyone, and they wouldn’t be walking on eggshells around her trying not to say or do the wrong thing for fear of upsetting her.
“Now wait just a minute, young man. This is our baby and this is her home. This is where she belongs,” her momma said indignantly.
“Yes ma’am, I understand. But y’all need to consider what she needs. This isn’t about any of us. She is still figuring out who she is and where she fits into this world again. Trust us when we say, space is what she’s going to need,” Creed told them gently yet forcefully.
Kennedy was still speechless that they’d anticipated what she would need upon arriving home. But upsetting her parents because she couldn’t stay in a house that carried so many happy memories that would haunt and suffocate her wasn’t an option.
“She needs her family,” Andrew argued.
It was the hospital all over again. They argued about her like she wasn’t even in the room, and her voice was stuck somewhere in her throat.
“We’ve done this dance before and look where that got you last time,” Linc growled in frustration.
Lights danced before her eyes at the reminder.
“She’s stronger now; we can all see that,” Jackson butted in.
“Look, the decision has been made. When I told you outside that we were taking care of her, I meant that. There is no question of where she’s going unless she specifically says otherwise,” Creed bit back.
Dizziness was starting to swallow her.
“Then let’s let her decide, hmm,” her momma told them.
Were they driving through a tunnel? Everything sounded hollow. Her ears were ringing and her mouth was dry like she’d swallowed a pound of salt. Darkness was starting to creep into the edges of her eyes. “Creed,” she whispered. “Air.”
He went into immediate action, picking her up and rushing her outside. Sitting her on the hood of the SUV, she could feel the warm breeze penetrate her lungs and she could breathe again. “Are you ok, Sunshine?” Creed asked her looking her over for signs of distress.
Shaking her head, she wasn’t sure how to answer because she was unsure why she’d freaked out. Looking up when she heard the screen door slam shut, she saw her parents trying to get past Linc as he refused to move. Creed’s hands on her cheeks drew her attention back to him. “Eyes on me, Sunshine, only me.”
Nodding, she closed her eyes and concentrated on regulating her breaths. “I think it was a panic attack,” she finally whispered, meeting his gaze with her own.
“I’m sorry, Kennedy.” His apology confused her.
“Why?”
“We overwhelmed you. Arguing like you were a piece of meat to fight over. Tell me, Sunshine, what do you want to do?
“Leave,” her answer was immediate and shocking, but she was overwhelmed. She needed time to think about what she was going to do.