“You hold so much inside. You let your own feelings go to make sure everyone around you is ok,” she explained softly. Watching Linc’s face, she knew the moment he knew what she was talking about.
“She’s right,” Linc stated.
“Especially for Linc and I.”
She could almost hear the wheels cranking in his mind. He was thinking about it, which told them both far more than if he were to speak the words aloud.
Nuzzling his face into her neck, he seemed to breathe her in squeezing her tighter to him. He told her, “You’re right.” Nothing more.
Wanting to ease some more of their stress she told them both, “I still need counselling.” It’s what they’d been talking about before she’d come downstairs but they’d been afraid to bring it up to her. She understood, it took a lot for her to seek help out in the first place.
He kissed her neck before asking her, “You wanna tell us about that nightmare? You had us both scared, Sunshine.”
Slipping out of his arms she sat on the top step, gazing at the small field and barn not far off. Thinking about her dream brought her fears to life. She knew that in order to exorcize them she would have to speak about it, but the way she felt in that time was not something she wanted to relive.
“I was back in that cabin again,” she started. She could almost feel them leaning closer without even looking. “Chained to a wall by that woman. God, she was so horrible. The weird thing was, I was there as another me instead.” Kennedy still wasn’t sure what had happened, but it had felt so real.
“Like an out of body experience, you know?” Turning, she looked at them needing them to understand what she herself didn’t. “I was watching it all in technicolor. I tried so hard to will myself to not give up, to fight back. But I just laid there, uselessly. I never said anything. I just took it, took everything she dished out.” Tears started tracking down her cheeks in memory.
“When that me would pass out from pain, though, so would I. I’d only wake up when she started torturing me again. Strangely this time, each injury was on my real body and my dream one. It was terrifying.”
“Sunshine,” Linc whispered, probably not knowing whether to tell her she was crazy or not. “I can’t even imagine.”
“I hope you never do, Linc,” she told him solemnly.
“What else happened, Kennedy?” Creed asked her. His face was full of anger for her and what she went through.
“Emily,” she smiled thinking of how her friend taunted them. “She was so brave and strong. She taunted them so they’d leave me alone. I wanted to smack her so hard for doing it. We both didn’t need to be hurt, but she wouldn’t stop. It bothered them when she would laugh each time one of her insults would hit the intended mark.”
Looking down at her hands, she remembered the fear when Emily had kicked the woman and she impaled herself on the knife she’d been torturing Kenny with. “When he rolled that woman over after Emily kicked her, I wanted to laugh so hard but I was scared. I was terrified because I was already so weak and knew I couldn’t stand much more from them. But Emily, God, Emily. You know what she did? She smirked at him. Smirked!” She remembered it so clearly. She’d been cheering her on in her own head while wanting to throttle her for making her their target.
“She told us about that. How you begged her not to do anything because you didn’t want her to get hurt too. She also told us she wished she’d been the one on that table,” Creed pointed out to her.
Shaking her head, she was glad it was her and not Emily and she said so. “No, it couldn’t have been her. Emily was already so fragile because of them. She didn’t deserve more of their sadism.”
“And you did?” Linc asked her angrily. She was taken aback by his tone.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I can hear it your voice,” he growled.
Looking to Creed for help, he looked just as angry as Linc if not more so. “She was stalked for two years. Her pain was supposed to end when she went to my brothers, not get worse!” Her emotions were all over the place now. She was angry because they were angry. She was angry because they were right.
It was her fault.
If she hadn’t insisted on Emily going shopping with her or screwing around with her bodyguards, they neve would have been caught unaware. But she did, and now she must pay the price.
“Don’t even fucking try it, Kennedy,” Creed growled at her.
Her eyes shot to his intense ones in question.
“I can see it on your face. You’re trying to blame yourself. What I’d like to know is what the fuck for?”
“Because it is my fault, I begged her to go with me. Dane and Cooper kept telling her no. Repeatedly, they demanded she stay home. So no, I don’t think she should have suffered anymore because I’m a selfish bitch!” She screamed at them, storming past their shocked faces and into the house.
She ran upstairs in search of clothes and the bathroom. Bursting through the doors, she stomped into the room. Finding some clothes in the closet, she quickly got dressed. Running back down the stairs, she slipped her shoes on just as Creed and Linc were coming in through the back arguing.
Not sticking around long enough for them to stop her, she ran out the front door slamming it behind her. She started a slow jog down the driveway towards the rural road. They’d said it was just three miles from her parent’s house.