Being here? Locked up like some common criminal? It’s horrible. I can honestly say, for the first time ever, I think I hate my dad.
I hate him for pushing my mom away.
I hate him for treating me like a burden.
I hate him for never seeing me as more than some little girl with pigtails.
I hate him.
I hate him.
I hate him.
Except…
I don’t.
I should. And he would deserve it. I don’t deserve to be here. I’m not some irresponsible, spoiled little girl looking to make my way in life off of Daddy’s dime. I have goals and dreams, and he ruined them.
I should hate him.
I wish I could.
Sorry for being melodramatic. It’s been a dreadful day. I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving. I hadn’t planned to but then changed my mind at the last minute and called him. I asked if I could.
He refused. Told me I was an emb
arrassment to his name. That I’d ruined his legacy. I didn’t deserve to come home when I was so troubled.
I should hate him, Desmond…
So why can’t I?
……
North
Fuck. She’s breaking my heart. I can practically feel her pain washing off the pages with each word I read. Her heartbreak is magnified, showcasing her feelings of unwant and rejection by her father.
I’d like to punch the dickhead in the face at the moment. Making her feel anything less than cherished is unacceptable. He doesn’t deserve her.
Crumpling the envelope that North’s letter came in, I stop when I feel a slight resistance. Opening it, I see a small square of photo paper. Words on the back read: this is me, real, raw, unrelenting.
I flip it over, and it’s a punch to gut. Dark hair falls to one side of a perfectly round face with plump, full lips. Her eyes are a perfect almond shape projecting a rich green hue. And sadness. I can see her tears clear as day in the photo. She looks like someone kicked her puppy down the drain.
The most shocking revelation is the immediate attraction I feel towards her. To her words. Now I understand why I’ve been feeling so connected to her.
She’s meant to be mine.
Biting my nails, I ask Jamie again, “You’re sure I’m free to go? I don’t have to stay any longer?”
“Sweetheart, the order was very clear, North Williams is free to go. No criminal record has been established since you were never formally charged. The keys are for an apartment in downtown Kitsap. Cash is in the envelope.” I hated how much Jamie had smiled when we first met, I truly did. Now, it feels like sunshine on this horribly rainy day.
I have to choke back the tears threatening to consume me. No one has ever done anything nice for me, and I don’t even know who my benefactor is. I was supposed to be here for a year, but after just over five months, I’m leaving, and I can breathe again.
“Go, North.” Jamie pushes the envelope at me as well as a cell phone and keys to an apartment.
I haven’t spent much time in Kitsap, but I’m excited as the Uber driver cruises through the city, and the stars shine brightly in the night sky. After weaving through traffic lights and two accidents, he parks in front of a beautiful building.