Her eyes widened. Could this be Jake, the ruthless entrepreneur? Since when had he become so sensitive? ‘Yes, a little perhaps. I miscarried, but that woman lost everything, and it suddenly struck me, even with all these people around—’ she gestured with a wave of her hand at the dozens of tourists as they strolled along ‘—there is something about this place, an aura of sadness, doom.’ She unconsciously shook her head to dispel the feeling of melancholy.
‘I wasn’t much help when you lost the baby, was I, Lexi?’
His words stopped her in her tracks, and she could think of nothing to say. The pressure of his hand on her
shoulder turned her around to face him. With his free hand he lifted her chin. ‘I’m truly sorry, Lexi. I let you down, the very moment you needed me most.’
The sincerity in his tone, the deep regret in his indigo eyes convinced Lexi he was telling the truth as he saw it. ‘Oh. I wouldn’t say that.’ She lowered her lashes, suddenly confused by Jake’s confession. ‘I was depressed, not really aware of anything very much.’ If she had been more alert to her surroundings she might have realised sooner that he was having an affair with Lorraine, the thought hit her. And, shrugging his hand off her shoulder, she added, ‘I’m sure you did your best,’ and moved on.
‘No, damn it!’ Jake caught her arm. ‘No, I didn’t. I was so caught up in my business troubles, I didn’t give you as much attention as you deserved.’
Lexi glanced up at him. Business troubles. Looking back, she realised he had hinted as much at the time, but she had been too wrapped in her own grief to take much notice. Was he telling the truth? She studied his handsome face; his expression was stern but serious, and she was stunned by the depths of emotion she glimpsed fleetingly in his dark eyes.
‘I couldn’t talk about the loss of our son, it was too painful. But I want you to know, Lexi. Whatever our differences, when and if we have another child, I will be there for you every step of the way.’
A lump formed in her throat and she blinked hard to vanquish the threatening tears. ‘Thank you for that,’ she said softly. She believed him, all of it. So where did that leave her? she wondered. Could it be that Jake had turned to Lorraine simply for sex, when she herself had lost interest in it? It would explain why he hadn’t married Lorraine. But did it make his betrayal any less if that was the case? She didn’t know...and, catching the side of Jake’s shirt, she added, ‘Come on. Poor Luigi is going to lose us if we don’t hurry up.’ She urged him forward.
‘You OK?’ Jake asked, slipping his arm around her shoulder, a rather wry smile twitching the corners of his hard mouth at her blunt changing of the subject.
‘Of course.’ Lexi smiled back. But his confession had jolted her more than she cared to admit.
Striding along after the tireless Luigi, they walked along streets with pavements and gutters, a bar with a classic painting on the wall of a group of men cheating at a game of cards with the aid of a mirror.
‘See, nothing changes.’ Luigi laughed, indicating the painting, but Lexi was barely listening.
For the past few days she had lived in a sexual daze. But Jake’s words had reminded her exactly what she was committed to. He had said she owed him a child, but she had conveniently blocked the message from her mind. She had nursed a hazy idea: a few months of Jake and sex, till his desire for her was burnt out, and then freedom. Suddenly it wasn’t so simple. What if she got pregnant and had his child? She knew after losing one child that if she was lucky enough to get a second chance she would never be able to walk away from her own baby. She cast a sidelong glance at Jake. His interest was captured by the lead piping at the side of yet another villa, and for a moment she studied his rugged features. Jake was not the sort of man to let her walk away with a child. What he owned, he kept. She shivered at the thought of a lifetime with Jake without love, never knowing if she could trust him. Worse: how would a child feel, brought up in that kind of atmosphere?
‘Cold?’ Jake’s demand and husky laugh broke into her chaotic thoughts.
‘No, no,’ she reiterated and, pointing to the lead pipe, she said the first thing that came into her head, ‘I suppose, with your being in construction, this is doubly interesting to you.’
He glanced down at her, his blue eyes narrowing, his dark face suddenly guarded. ‘Not really, my business is much more diversified now. I have little to do with construction. After the collapse of the property market a few years back I concentrated my efforts on finance.’
‘Finance...’ But the Jake she remembered had been a builder, a self-made man, and mad keen on his Docklands development. He had told her once he had taken a business and finance course at night-school, but she thought he would have stuck with construction.
‘Yes, with the help of our mutual friend Carl Bradshaw and his German connections, I made a killing in Deutchmarks, when the pound fell out of the ERM and was devalued. It’s amazing how easy it is to make money when you have a beautiful mercenary woman as an incentive,’ he drawled mockingly.
Lexi wished she had kept her mouth shut; his crack was aimed at her. At least she thought it was, and in a rush of honesty she told him, ‘I never wanted your money, Jake; in fact I’ve never looked at the account you opened for me, not since I left England.’
‘Do you know, I almost believe you.’ Jake hugged her and pushed her in front of him. ‘Come on, the guide is escaping.’
Inexplicably Lexi’s heart felt lighter as Luigi led them into the House of Vetii, a villa restored almost completely intact, and perhaps the most notorious in Pompeii, known for its pornographic paintings and statue. Within minutes Lexi could see why as she followed behind Luigi. Lexi stopped and turned bright scarlet at the statue in front of her. She heard Jake’s chuckle behind her, but didn’t dare turn around as Luigi burst into speech.
‘The poor man suffered from an uncommon disease, as you can see.’ And Lexi could see all too clearly the exaggerated masculinity of the man. ‘A state of permanent readiness, shall I say.’ His old face split with a huge grin. ‘Many male tourists ask me how to contract this disease.’ And with an arch of his bushy eyebrows, and an open palmed salute he added, ‘But unfortunately, I cannot say.’ And cackled with laughter at his own joke.
Lexi felt Jake’s arms curve around her waist to hold her firmly against him, the back of her legs through the fine fabric of her sundress brushing against his thighs; she could feel the warmth of his breath at her throat.
‘I can,’ Jake whispered teasingly in her ear. ‘All a man has to do is stay around you, Lexi, darling. You keep me in that state permanently.’
Herself and how many other women? she wondered, a flash of pain—or was it jealousy—piercing her breast. ‘Jake,’ she admonished. She could feel the stirring of his masculine interest all too plainly against her. ‘There are people around,’ she hissed in embarrassment.
‘Shame.’ Jake gave an exaggerated sigh and Lexi, pulling free, dashed after Luigi.
For the rest of the tour through the house, Lexi hardly noticed the magnificent wall paintings or the lovely garden; she was too intensely aware of Jake. He had caught up with her and rested one arm possessively over her shoulders, his long stride slowed to match hers, the brush of his thigh against her leg, the warmth of his hard body, the musky male scent of him all conspired to make her pulse-rate rocket. She tried to tell herself it was all the walking, the stifling heat of the noonday sun, but she knew she was only fooling herself.
‘You’re very quiet,’ Jake said softly as they walked once more down yet another paved street. ‘Had enough for one day?’
‘It is rather hot, and the crowds...’ She trailed off as Luigi stopped once more, but she was flattered at Jake’s evident concern.