‘You felt guilty?’ Phoebe queried. ‘Why?’
‘For the first time in my adult life I panicked when you told me you were pregnant. When I got over the shock I knew I wanted to marry you, but I’m ashamed to say I was in no hurry to tell you. Then, when I got to the hospital and the doctor told me you had lost the baby, he also gave me a few words of caution. He said he had noticed bruises on your thighs and a few other places, and that it would be a good idea to tone down the sex a little—especially if you got pregnant again. He said I could go in and see you. I walked into your room, totally disgusted with myself and feeling as guilty as hell. I might have caused you to lose the baby.’
Phoebe’s head was reeling. His confession had come totally out of the blue. The look of disgust on his face as he had entered her hospital room had haunted her for years, but it had never been for her, as she’d thought, but at himself. A spark of hope ignited in her heart. Maybe he did love her.
Suddenly she was incensed on Jed’s behalf. ‘The doctor should never have told you that. The way we made love had nothing to do with him, and I enjoyed every minute. It certainly was not your fault I lost the baby.’
For a second his eyes sparkled with a trace of his usual arrogance. ‘Maybe not, but along with Christina’s meddling it gave me another convenient excuse for not trying to find you. Because, being honest, I realised it was a relief as well. I always like to be in control, and what I felt for you terrified me. Our relationship was the longest I had ever had—I only had to think of you to want you with an ache that would not go away. I told myself it was lust, but deep down I knew I lied. I loved everything about you—your breathtaking smile, your quick enquiring mind.’ His piercing black eyes seemed to see right into her soul. ‘The soft avowals of love you gave so freely. I’d give anything to hear them again.’
Phoebe gave him a tentative smile, but still wasn’t sure she believed him.
‘I panicked for the second time in my life this morning, when I woke and you were gone. But this time for a different reason.’ His hands tightened on hers and she stared up at him. The planes and angles of his face were taut, and she wondered what was coming next to make him so tense. ‘Because I finally admitted to myself that I love you, Phoebe, and only you. I could not bear the thought of losing you—I could not go through that pain again.’
He let go of her hands, and leaning over her, clasped her face between his palms. His black eyes looked deep into her wary blue.
‘You have to believe me, Phoebe. I love you.’ He shook his head slightly and a black curl fell over his brow. She lifted her hand to sweep it away but then dropped it again. ‘I never even looked at another woman for over two years after you left.’ His hands slid down to her shoulders, his fingers flexing in her bare skin, and she shivered but Jed did not seem to notice.
‘That I find hard to believe,’ she murmured. Jed was a highly-sexed man, but she was flattered at the thought, and the spark of hope burned brighter with every word he said.
‘It is absolutely true, I swear, but I know you don’t trust me—how could you after the way I behaved? The moment I saw you at the embassy I was determined to get you back. I could have flattened Gladstone when he kissed you.’
She recognised the green devil in his eyes. ‘That is all Julian ever did,’ she told him. Honesty cut both ways.
‘Thank you for that,’ he acknowledged, and continued, ‘The day I found out about Ben I was angry and I blamed you, but it was my own fault because I had wasted five years denying how I truly felt. I could not resist making love to you the same night. Phoebe, I know I don’t deserve you, and I am not asking you to love me—only to stay with me and let me love and care for you. Please give me another chance.’
Phoebe lifted her hand, and this time she did sweep the black curl back from his brow. Jed pleading for her love was something she had never imagined, and her heart was filled with love. But did she trust him?
‘I said my father was a silly old fool for keeping his promise to my mother. But now I know exactly how he feels. I love you, I adore you, I worship the ground you walk on—and I am the bigger fool for being an abject coward and not admi
tting it sooner. And if the answer is no—’ his hands tightened on her shoulders and he looked like a man going to the gallows ‘—I will give you and Ben your freedom. You can return to England and I will be a visiting father.’ He grimaced. ‘Like you said, some things are unconscionable and I can do no less.’
‘You won’t have to.’ She took a leap of faith and trusted Jed with her heart. ‘I do love you, Jed, and always have,’ Phoebe said, her eyes inexplicably filling with tears as elation flooded through her. She gave him a beautiful smile. Jed loved her. Her husband—the magnificent man she had thought emotionless—loved her. He had done all along, but had been too afraid to admit his feelings. ‘If you remember, I used to tell you so all the time—too naive to hide my feelings,’ she declared, and it was there for him to see in the brilliant blue eyes blazing into his. ‘Nothing has changed, I love you and always will…’
‘Ah, Phoebe. If only you knew how I have longed to hear you say those words again,’ Jed murmured throatily, and he kissed her almost reverently, with love and a deep, soulful passion that touched her heart and melted her bones.
A long moment later he lifted his head. ‘You have made me the happiest man alive.’ He looked into her gleaming blue eyes, his own burning black. ‘Do you remember you once gave me a gold heart? Well, I have cherished it for years. It is my lucky charm and it always gave me hope.’
‘Of course I remember. I just saw it on your desk and it gave me hope simply knowing you had kept it,’ Phoebe said softly.
He smiled and kissed her brow. ‘Now you have gifted me your true heart, and for that I am eternally grateful. I will love, cherish and protect you till my dying day.’ He kissed her again.
In moments she was beneath him, his robe shrugged off and her dress removed. Naked, he smiled down at her, his eyes full of humor and love. ‘Now for the worship and adoration,’ he murmured.
They made love with a slow, aching tenderness, stroking, sighing and murmuring soft words of love and need. And finally, when the passion built to fever pitch, Jed thrust into her sleek, welcoming body and they came together in a meeting of body and mind—two soul mates becoming one in a wild, wonderful climax.
‘What is it with you and sofas?’ Phoebe teased when she finally got her breath back. She lifted her hand to run her fingers gently down his cheek and then curved her slender arm lovingly around his neck.
Jed kissed her lightly on the lips. ‘The place does not matter. All that really matters is that I am with you, Phoebe—the woman I love with all my heart, now and always.’
Epilogue
‘TALK about a big Greek wedding—this is incredible.’ Phoebe turned laughing eyes up to her husband. ‘Have you seen your father and Aunt Jemma dancing with the children?’
Jed glanced across the crowded ballroom and spotted the older couple. He turned back to his wife. ‘If he didn’t have a bad heart to start with Jemma would give him one,’ he stated with a broad grin.
Phoebe looked radiant. He had not the words to do justice to her beauty, inside and out. Her hair, pale as moonlight, was swept up in an intricate loop on the top of her head to cascade in a shimmering silken swathe down her back. The long dress she wore fitted her shapely body like a glove. White satin and embroidered with Swarovski crystals, it sparkled as she moved—but not half as much as his fabulous wife did in his eyes. Jed had insisted on a church wedding, and the white dress, to show the world his virgin bride.
Phoebe would call him a chauvinist if she knew, but it gave him immense pride and satisfaction to know he was the only man who had ever made love to her or ever would, he silently vowed. She was the love of his life…She was his life—he’d be lost without her.