It was so faint that at first he thought it had been imaginary, but then it happened again and he turned to see the streaks of moonlit water sliding down her face.
"What if he never plays again?” she asked quietly. "What if it's all over for him?"
God, if he only had an answer for that.
But he told her the same thing he'd been telling himself for the past year. "It'll be fine."
She nodded, slowly at first, and then faster. "You're right."
It was the moment of truth. He could feel it rearing up. Fight or Flight.
But looking at her, her face streaked with tears, he knew there wasn't really a choice anymore. Maybe she didn't realize it now, but whatever happened with Matt, she would blame Logan for it one day. They both would. It would just take a while for them to see it. It was too fresh, too raw right now, but when they stepped back they'd be able to see the truth.
And it would be better if they both simply faced it now and got it over with.
"Let's go," she said and started off in the opposite direction.
"You should see your brother. I don't want to intrude on family matters," he said, unmoving.
"What do you mean? Don't be ridiculous. Come on." She stopped in her tracks and swiveled to face him.
He shook his head slowly. "No. I'm not coming"
A lump rose in his throat and he swallowed it whole. She wouldn't understand if he explained. She'd argue with him and fight. That's what Andy did.
And if he let her, she would convince him. He couldn't let it come to that.
"He's your best friend. What do you mean you're not coming?" Her heels clicked as she stalked toward him, but he stepped back before he could smell her flowery perfume again. They were all traps, and he had to avoid them. This was about doing what was right.
"What I said," he answered.
She tilted her head to the side, her eyebrows pulled together so she looked somewhere between angry and confused. "What's all this about?"
"Look, I already explained myself. I'll call you." He opened the car door, but she reached out and slammed it behind him.
"You'll call me?" Gone was the furrowed confusion. No, now it was full-on anger, and there was only one place she could direct it.
Not that he could blame her.
With any luck, she'd hate him so much by the end of the night that he wouldn't have to face her again. All harm, all foul. Then he wouldn't have to be reminded of what a fuck up he was every time he looked at her.
"Logan," she prompted when he still hadn't spoken. "Tell me what this is about. Is this about the accident? I told you—"
Fuck. He wasn't about to have this conversation. Not again.
There was only one way to get her off of his track, but it would make him hate himself more than she already did.
As far as he could tell, though, there was no other choice. The ugliness of it burned in his stomach and he glanced at the crowd of reporters still hanging by the doors. "It has nothing to do with the accident. Don't be stupid."
"Last time I checked, only one of us was being stupid," she said. "If it's not about the accident, then what gives? I want you to come with me. I n—"
No. If he let her say it, he wouldn't be able to go through with this. She couldn't tell him she needed him.
So he cut her off with the worst, most awful thing he could think of. "I can't be seen with you."
Bile burned in the back of his throat and he stared at the crowd of reporters again. Maybe if he kept his attention on the group, she'd walk away without saying anything and this horrible conversation would all be over. He could drive away and not have to see her, not have to watch her cry.
He should have known life didn't work like that, though.