"Or maybe it's from the blatant sexual harassment."
He spread his hands out in front of him. "I'd say the way you look at me is blatant sexual harassment. You undress me with your eyes whenever we're in the same room. I swear, it feels like you're always trying to guess what color my underwear is. Unless you don't think I'm wearing any." He waggled his eyebrows if only to see if steam might come pouring out of her ears to match the angry red blotches on her cheeks.
"This is what you wanted me here for?"
"In a way. I want you here to resolve the clear, palpable sexual tension between us."
"Oh, okay, so should I take my dress off now or should I just lift up my skirt and we can have at?"
He raised his brows and waited for her to respond.
'Wait...are you serious?" She pushed out her chair, but he rushed to speak before she resigned herself to leaving.
"It's clearly a problem in our working relationship. I feel the best thing to do is to set up five meetings in which to settle our curiosities and then we can continue on as coworkers."
"Now this is blatant sexual harassment."
"No, this is a bargain."
"I don't even like you, what the hell makes you think I want to have sex with you?"
"You think I'm hot." He tried to keep the laugh out of his voice, but it was nearly impossible.
"I do not." Her tone was too shrill for her to be telling the truth, and inside he give himself a little high five.
"Be that as it may, you know that I've had interest in you for quite some time. I'd be interested in satisfying that...curiosity."
"I'm sure you would. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get the hell out of here."
"You haven't even thought about it."
"I don't need to. I'm not interested."
"Now, I know you don't like me, but I never thought you'd stoop so low as to lie to me."
Natalie blinked again, her mouth tightening into a little ball beneath her nose. "I'm not lying. And I don't just...just..."
"Sleep with people you barely know?" He offered. That's how she would see it, no doubt. Like an event. Like one of those big, splashy sweaty moments from movies where people wrap around each other and move like slow, hopelessly devoted automatons.
The only problem, of course, was that sex was never actually like that.
At least, it never had been in his experience.
Sex was sweaty and fierce and dirty. There were no longing glances of devotion when he was with a woman. He was all bite and grit and pure desire.
That was what sex was.
And maybe if she understood that, she'd be a little less reluctant to go along with his plan.
At last, Natalie cleared her throat. "I do know you, that's the problem. Maybe if I didn't know you—" She stopped, her narrowed eyes widening for a fraction of a moment
He cleared his throat.
Thank god for Freudian slips. "Oh, if you didn't know me you'd sleep with me?"
"That's not what I-—"
"Oh no, it's too late to take it back. You said you would. Which, of course, only proves my point. You and I have some sexual tension issues that need to be resolved. How about this—you try one night with me. I don't have to be me, I can be anyone you want. Hell, I'll even be one of your husbands if you'd like. Give me one of their names. I'd imagine you with a guy named Steve. Any Steves on the list?"