“I guess this whole Matchy thing has me confused,” I said, suddenly dejected again. “It’s not even Vanity that bugs me so much. I know Mason didn’t meet her in person. It’s that Mason was cruising a dating site while we were together,” I choked. “I mean, that’s wrong, right? Who does that when you’re seeing someone?”
My friend nodded sympathetically.
“Yeah, it’s confusing. I feel for you, honey,” Monica said, her voice kind. “First with Don, and now with your stepbrother. Was Mason on-line a lot?” she asked.
I looked down again.
“I’m not sure,” I said in a muffled voice. “I picked up his phone by accident one time and saw that he had a Matchy match, but figured it was a fluke and that he’d forgotten to delete the app from his phone. It turns out,” I said, my voice cracking again. “That he has some kind of weird addiction to on-line dating.”
“What do you mean?” asked Mony curiously. “Like video game addictions? This sounds bizarre.”
“I know,” I said miserably. “But that’s how he tried to explain it. He said that on-line dating is just so easy, you know? Log on, and there are a million girls at your fingertips, all looking for you.”
“But why would your brother even need Matchy?” asked Monica skeptically. “I mean, he’s Mason Phillips. Doesn’t he have women hanging off his every word all the time? Surely, he doesn’t have to resort to browsing online.”
I nodded sadly.
“Yeah, I guess so, but it’s easier sometimes. I mean in real life, it’s actually pretty hard to find a connection with someone. Besides, he said it’s more of an addiction than anything meaningful. Meeting someone in person would mean expending energy, and I don’t think Mason’s actually doing that. I think he just likes to browse non-stop.”
Monica nodded thoughtfully.
“Yeah, I know all about that,” she said ruefully. “It’s so lame but I have to admit I’ve spent hours on my couch, swiping around without any real goal. It’s entertaining, you get hooked, and it’s pretty mindless too.”
But here was the million-dollar question.
“Monica,” I said slowly. “Do you think Matchy makes people less likely to commit?”
Now it was my friend’s turn to frown again.
“Why, because Mason was on it? Do you think he won’t commit to you because of that?”
I shook my head slowly.
“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure what to think. On the one hand, the fact that he was browsing online feels wrong, and it makes me really, really sad. Plus, I’m afraid that being online gives you a sense of possibility. Like you always have tons of options, so why settle down?” Monica nodded thoughtfully as I continued. “I mean, that’s what online dating does,” I rushed. “It makes the user feel like there’s always another girl around the corner, so why commit? You’ve got a sea of fish just waiting for you.”
Monica nodded her head slowly.
“I guess that’s true,” she said. “But honestly? On-line dating is no substitute for meeting in real life. I mean, everyone’s photos are photoshopped and maybe they’re a dud when you actually see them.”
“Yeah, I agree,” I said softly. “I’m just not sure Mason knows that. If he’s browsing non-stop, does he have commitment issues? Does he realize that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? I don’t know,” I said miserably.
“And in the meantime, you’re having his baby,” said Monica sympathetically, patting my arm. “Come on girl, cheer up because it’s not that bad,” she added soothingly. “No matter what, you’re going to be a mom soon,” she said with a smile. “Children are a blessing, so you’ll be okay.”
I gave her a weak smile then. I didn’t have a man, and dancing was soon going to be out of the question, given my burgeoning form. Plus, I’m having a baby, and the father doesn’t know. Well, the only way through this was to endure, so I shot my friend another smile.
“Come on Mony,” I said while tossing a bag over my shoulder. “I’m all packed now, so let’s go. No need to hang out here anymore. You got that suitcase? Good. It’s time to begin the next phase of my life.”
With that, we stood up and began dragging luggage outside before loading it into her yellow VW bug. After we were done, with slow hands I locked the front door before turning away resolutely and squaring my shoulders. Mason’s condo is where I spent some of my happiest times, but now, I had to move on.
19
Mason
I banged the front door open.
“Janie,” I called, hollering up the stairs. “Janie, I’m home.”
I dropped my swim bag by the door, and it thunked as it hit the floor.
“Janie,” I yelled again. “I’m home!”
The condo was oddly silent. Well, it was a big place, so maybe she was in the back somewhere. I made my way to the kitchen, hoping to see my stepsister’s sweet form bent over the kitchen counter nude and waiting for me, but she wasn’t there. No worries.