She nodded although she didn’t look me in the eye. There was silence for a moment and I babbled on.
“Janie baby, I’m so sorry,” I rumbled, terrified that she’d leave. This was my only shot, the most important thing in the world to me, and I was desperate not to screw things up even more than I already had. “I’m sorry,” I tried again. “I fucked up, and I’d do anything to change things.”
With a trembling exhale, my woman met my eyes.
“Mason,” she said, her voice steady. “Are you able to commit? Please be honest with me. We’ve been through so much together, so don’t just give me the answer you think I want to hear. Please, tell me the truth.”
I paused for a moment.
“Yes, I’m able to commit,” I said in a slow tone. “But why? You know I want to be with you, and only you.”
Janie shook her head, that blonde hair waving beautifully around her face.
“No Mason, I ask because on-line dating changes how people think,” she said slowly. “It makes you feel like you have options, that there are always a million other women out there, so why commit? And that’s the thing,” she added in a thoughtful tune. “In your case, it might be true. There probably are dozens of women dying to meet you even now. So there’s really no need to commit, seeing that there are always more women out there.”
I stopped short. Where was this coming from?
“Wait, you think that because I was on Matchy that I have a big head?” It wasn’t exactly making sense to me. Janie was so sharp, and I wanted to make sure I understood before putting a foot in my mouth.
“I’m not saying you have a big head,” she said slowly. “It’s more than that. Mason, do you realize that dating on-line is different than real life? And not just in the obvious ways. Basically, getting a match on-line is just that. It’s an introduction, with no guarantee that you’d be compatible in real life.”
I was silent, stupefied.
“Yes, of course. But what are you getting at?” I asked slowly. “Why are you asking?”
“Because it seems you were bored with me,” she said simply. “Why else would you be browsing, if you weren’t bored in my company?”
At this moment, I knew I had to hit an ace because there would be no second chances if I messed up my response.
“Janie, I was a dunce,” I said slowly. “I didn’t appreciate what I had. I didn’t appreciate that you’re everything that I need, and I just …” I choked. I couldn’t even go on because I was so disgusted with myself. “I love you Janie and I was so stupid,” I said in an emotional tone. “I wish I’d never heard of these stupid on-line dating sites.”
My stepsister nodded gently, her gaze empathetic. But she had one more question.
“Mason, are you still on-line?” she asked gently. “I mean, now? Do you still keep a profile?”
“No, and you can check,” I said truthfully. “I destroyed my Matchy account. I destroyed all my dating profiles because they don’t matter. Not when I have you.” To prove my point, I handed my cell to her and Janie scrolled through my settings.
“I see it’s all gone,” she said thoughtfully.
“It’s been gone for months,” I ground out. “Ever since you left.”
Slowly, a rainbow broke through the clouds. Janie’s smile was tremulous, and tears began to form in her eyes.
“I’m glad,” my girl whispered, as she looked down before meeting my eyes once more. “Because Mason, I’m pregnant and the baby’s yours. I don’t think I could bear it, if you were still looking around on-line.”
The air whooshed out of my lungs and I felt faint. The Earth tilted on its axis and I literally had to right myself.
“Are you sure?” I asked, not letting myself breathe.
She nodded, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Yes Mason. You’re going to be a dad soon.”
“Oh shit,” I said, “oh shit, oh shit.” I sat dumbfounded on the couch for a moment. This blew everything out of the water. Olympic medals were nice and all, but a baby? I was ecstatic, and almost afraid to believe the good news.
“But what does that mean for us?” I said slowly. “I don’t want to pressure you to do anything. Are you considering …?”
I couldn’t even say the word. Janie was showing just slightly and my heart pounded. Oh please, God. Please let this woman love me.
The curvy girl merely smiled, reading my emotions.
“I’m keeping the baby, Mace,” she said. “We’ll raise him together.”
With that, I jumped up like bolt of lightning, grabbing her, kissing her everywhere before burying my face in those blonde curls.
“We’ll make it work,” I promised fervently, breathing in her soft scent. “All this bullshit we’ve been through? It’s in the past. It’s done. It’s gone. We’ll make it work, and we have to make it work,” I rumbled desperately into her ear.