Fourth Down (Portland Pioneers 1)

“Yes, but if that changes, I’ll let you know.”

Reggie finishes in the kitchen and then heads off to his room. It’s just Roxy and me. I pull the chair out from under the table and sit down beside her. “I’m going to eat your breakfast.”

She smiles brightly and giggles. “No, you not, Daddy.”

“Uh-huh,” I tell her. My hand starts moving toward her spoon, and she laughs louder. She squirms in her chair and then holds her arms out for me. “Are you all done?” I ask as I bring her toward me. Her dark hair is a mess of curls, going every which direction. I’m thankful Meghan is around to help me. Otherwise, I’d feel lost when it comes to my kids. I kiss Roxy on the nose. “I love you, bug.”

“I lub you too, Daddy.”

“Come on, let’s clean up.”

Roxy gets down from my lap and takes her bowl over to the sink. I hoist her up onto the counter and let her wash her bowl before setting it into the dishwasher. The front door opens, and she screeches out Meghan’s name. I’ve barely put Roxy on the floor before she’s off and running toward her nanny.

“Good morning, Mr. Cunningham.” Roxy is in her arms before I can even mutter a good morning.

“Morning. Thank you for staying with the kids yesterday and last night. If you need a day off this week, let me know.”

“It was my pleasure. We had a good time, right guys?”

Both kids nod.

“I’m going to take Reggie to school now,” I say. “You’re picking him up, right?”

“Yes, but you’ll call me if anything changes?”

“I will.” I kiss Roxy on the cheek and then holler for Reggie. He tells Meghan good morning before following me to the door.

We live on the top floor of a new apartment complex. Technically, we have a penthouse, but it’s nothing over the top or extravagant. I’m not the guy who spends an ungodly amount on living expenses or frivolous things. I want to make sure my children have the best education possible and can go to college. I was lucky, I had football to pay my way, but Reggie’s path may differ. Same with Roxy.

Our building is on the waterfront and within walking distance to most things—even Reggie’s school. During the season, I drive Reggie to school. In the spring, we walk. Most days, even in the fall and winter, we walk around our neighborhood, do our shopping, or hang out in the park. I love it here in Portland, because no one cares that I play professional football. The gossip hounding media, on the other hand, is a whole other story.

“Is Mom coming home?” Reggie asks when we step into the elevator. He knows I went to see her yesterday, but I haven’t sat him down to tell him we’re going to divorce. I don’t even know how to start a conversation like this with my son. Part of me thinks he’s too young to hear about all this adult drama, but the other half of me doesn’t want to lie to him. When he goes to L.A. to see his mother, something tells me she doesn’t plan to hide her new boyfriend from the kids, and they should know about him ahead of time. Do I tell them, or does Elena? Is it possible we can be amicable enough to sit down and tell them together?

“She’s busy, bud,” I say but sigh heavily. It’s not intended. I’m just thoroughly exhausted with all of this.

“Are you getting a divorce?”

I say nothing. I’m unprepared to answer his question.

“Mom has a boyfriend.”

I look at my son, who is staring at the door. “Where did you hear this?”

He glances up with unshed tears in his eyes. At this moment, I want Elena to see what she’s done to her children. “It was on TV last night.”

Motherfucker. I swallow the knot in my throat. “I’m trying to protect you,” I tell my son. “I don’t want you to have to deal with all this adult stuff.” He looks at me with sadness as my head shakes back and forth slowly. My heart hurts. It breaks for my children. “Mom is going to stay at the house in California for a bit, but you can go see her whenever you want.”

“She doesn’t love us anymore?” he asks, the dam of tears finally spilling over. I crouch down so we’re eye level, and I wipe his damp cheeks.

“She loves you, Reggie. She wants you to go live with her, but I want you and Roxy to stay here with me. Maybe I’m being selfish and should ask what you want.”

“Can I think about it?”

As much as it’s killing me inside, I nod and stand back up. He doesn’t need to see that his question is ripping me in two. When we reach the garage, I rush to my SUV and click the fob to unlock the doors. Reggie and I climb in and say nothing to each other until we’re at the drop off in front of the school.