Fourth Down (Portland Pioneers 1)

Noah laughs, which sort of makes things worse because he’s leading me to believe he’s some genius who probably could’ve gone to MIT or something. “My grades were decent, and I’m not good at everything.”

I scoff.

“I’m not,” he adds. “You have to remember I chose football over baseball and didn’t have a scholarship when I went to Notre Dame. I was a walk-on.”

“Yeah, why did you do that?”

I look over at him as he shrugs. “Lots of reasons, really. I knew I could play baseball anywhere I wanted, but football was my passion and something I had done all my life. Growing up, I expected I’d have offers from every college out there, but only a few came in, and they weren’t schools I wanted to play for. I took a chance at Notre Dame because their program was something I believed in. However, being a walk-on affords you nothing. I was a practice player until I got my shot, and once I did, I didn’t let the coach down. So, no, I’m not good at everything and have often thought about giving up on football and going back to baseball.”

Noah’s confession causes me to hit the brake on the cart. We lurch forward, and I mutter a weak apology. I don’t know what I’d do without Noah and know that we won’t be on the same team forever. Trades happen, or contracts don’t get renewed, whether we like them or not.

“Are you planning on leaving the Pioneers?”

He looks at me quickly and then back at the green. “I think about leaving all the time. I’m not sure if I’m good enough for the Pioneers or able to get them to the next level. Every draft, I’m on pins and needles, waiting to see what management will do with their picks. If they take a QB, I feel like that’s my sign to go.”

I put the cart in park and wait a moment before exiting. Noah follows me to the back, where we each take an iron out of our bags. Noah walks with me to my ball and waits for me to set up my shot. You never realize that most of the time it takes to golf is because you have to look down the fairway, test each angle, practice your shot and imagine the ball landing somewhere near the pin. If you’re really good at the game, you’re checking the wind speed and direction and mentally calculating the trajectory.

My second hit barely escapes the sand trap and rolls to the edge of the green. “Better, but that’ll be a long putt.”

Noah laughs and walks toward his ball. I head back to the cart and don’t bother to put my iron away so I can catch up with him. Noah walks through almost the same motions as I had and finally sends his ball through the air, landing not far from mine.

“I’m about to say something, but it has to stay between us. This means no going home to tell Peyton.”

Noah looks at me warily. “I don’t like to keep secrets from my wife.”

“I know, but this one is important, and I don’t want her to know anything, at least not yet.”

“Okay...” he says hesitantly.

I motion for us to get back in the cart, and as soon as we do, I inhale deeply and ready myself for what I’m about to say. “I think I may have misjudged Autumn.”

Noah lets out a strangled laugh and then coughs. He apologizes, but I know he’s done it on purpose. “Why’s that?”

“Well, I saw her a little over a week ago at the park by my house. Roxy ran right up to her, like she’s known her for years, and had a conversation. Autumn didn’t care that a toddler took up any of her time, and then more kids came over, and she just sat there, entertaining all of them. Ever since, Roxy insists on watching the weather every evening, and naturally, I watch with her because I’m her dad.”

“Is that what you tell yourself?” he asks. “Or is there another reason?”

“Another reason entirely,” I tell him. “Why didn’t you slap me in the head when I first met her? She’s so freaking beautiful.”

Noah sighs and then chuckles. “You were drunk when you met her, and I think deep down you remember being angry when all of this happened, so you manifested this issue between the two of you into something that it isn’t. I know you’re worried about Peyton and thinking Autumn is using her, but she’s not. You gotta remember, Peyton is an excellent judge of character, and if she felt Autumn had ulterior motives, she’d keep her at bay.”

“Yeah, Peyton said something similar to me when we had our last session.”

“At what point do you admit you like Autumn?”