Fourth Down (Portland Pioneers 1)

“This is delicious,” I tell her.

“I make it.”

“Your tea skills are perfect.”

“Fanks,” she blushes. “Hab dis.” Roxy hands me a plastic chocolate chip cookie. I take my pretend bite and tell myself to think that it's real. Maybe if I do this, I can kick my sugar addiction.

“Ahem,” Julius clears his throat from the doorway. He stands there, leaning against the jamb, with his hands in his pockets and one ankle crossed over the other. His once buttoned-up shirt is now partially open, with one side of the shirt dipping just enough that his pec is showing. I swallow that hard plastic pretend lump of a cookie and try to force a smile, but I probably look like some drool bucket trying not to get caught staring at the man in front of me.

“I hate to interrupt your party, but dinner is ready, and Miss Roxy needs to go to bed soon.”

She groans but grabs my hand and does her best to try and help me up from the chair. I’m going to have to work on my core strength if I’m going to have any more tea parties. Roxy holds my hand until we’re in the kitchen at their four-person table. It’s small, but I know Julius has a bigger, more formal one in the other room.

Formal.

The word plays in my mind. Everything about now feels incredibly formal. Almost like Roxy is putting on a show. To give me a glimpse of what life would be like here. Did Julius put her up to this? Or is she doing this because she likes me and I’m a guest in her home? I’m going with the latter because I can’t imagine Julius using his child to get my attention.

The three of us sit around the table, sharing a plate of nuggets and fries. Julius set out different dipping sauces and gave Roxy her very own bowl of Ranch. When I looked at it questioningly, he shook his head and said, “double-dipper.” That’s all I needed to know.

While Julius bathes Roxy and puts her to bed, I sit on his balcony with a glass of wine in my hand. I check my phone for the first time since I landed. Camden has called twice and texted twice as much. He wants me to take the job and is confident I’ll have an offer by tomorrow morning. As enticing as the opportunity is, I don’t know if I’m ready. For one, it means moving. My mom texted to see if I made it home safely. She is another person I needed to check in with, and finally, Peyton, she wants to know if I’ve spoken to Julius. I’m about to reply to everyone when Julius steps out onto his balcony, only now, the white shirt that looks so good against his skin is completely undone.

“Sweet Jesus,” I mutter and quickly take a sip of my wine in hopes Julius didn’t hear me correctly and will have forgotten to ask me to repeat myself.

“We should talk,” he says and motions toward the living room. He waits for me to step inside and then closes the door behind us. “It’s a nice night, but the neighbors like to eavesdrop, and I’d rather keep my personal life personal.”

“I understand,” I tell him.

Julius sits down beside me and takes my hand in his. “I’m just going to talk because I have so many thoughts running through my head right now.”

“Okay.” I turn to face him and pull my legs up onto the couch.

“Elena and I are getting a divorce. I’m not interested in rekindling anything with her. She showed up here because she saw the writing on the wall when the process server handed her the papers, and she thought she could sweet-talk her way back in. The shit she pulled when you were here, unacceptable. I’ve told her to apologize, but don’t hold your breath.”

“It’s not just Elena,” I say and then shake my head. “I’m sorry, please continue.”

“No, you’re right. It’s not. It’s me too and the panic I felt. At first, I thought everything going on was second-guessing, when in fact, it was relief. I wasn’t nervous about filing for divorce. I was nervous because I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t worth this headache. It seems that’s all I’ve been, and I couldn’t change it. I should’ve never gone two days without talking to you, especially after we spent the night together. That was the biggest mistake I’ve made in a long time. Complete stupidity. If I could get that week back, I would. If I could make it so Elena didn’t randomly show up and say shit to you, believe me, I’d erase it all. I’m an idiot. There really isn’t another way to sum this up.

“I’m not sure how I can make any of this up to you, but I’m willing to try. I want you, Autumn. I want us to walk down the street, holding hands. I want people to know we’re together. I want our families to have Christmas together. Most importantly, I want you in my life as my girlfriend. I know we have this age difference. The guys on the team tease me, calling me your grandfather, but I’m not that much older. You were just in high school when I graduated college. It’s a doable difference.”