He pulled out of my body, stroking his cock until he came into a towel. His chest heaving.
And I wondered how I could keep him if I never really had him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Poppy
Ronan made some calls looking for Bennington and I went upstairs for some fresh air on the roof garden. Only to find Niamh in a lawn chair, her face tilted to the sun, wearing a floppy sun hat. At the sound of the roof door opening she looked over with a smile, but frowned when she saw it was me.
Any other day that might make me turn around and leave, embarrassed by her not liking me.
But I had bigger problems and I was climbing the walls in that apartment.
“Expecting someone else?” I asked and let the door slam shut behind me. Something in my tone made her smile.
“Yeah,” she said. “But you’ll do.”
I laughed at the faint praise.
“Where’s Ronan?” she asked.
I explained about Bennington and then because she was here and I had no one else to confide in, I told her about the box.
“Nothing?” Niamh said. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”
“I guess I’m not either. But I was… well, I was hoping.”
“Yeah, it’s the hope that’ll break your heart.” She sighed and tilted her face back in the sun.
“Ronan says he’ll go work with Bryant Morelli.”
Niamh made a sound like “what are you going to do?”
“He says working for Bryant isn’t any different than working for Caroline.”
“I imagine it might be better. Family, like?”
“Better?”
“What do you want me to tell you, lass? Rich powerful people are the same everywhere.” She turned her head to look at me out of one eye squinted against the sun. “What you want is for me to tell you that he’s different. That Ronan’s different.”
Yes. My heart leaped in my throat. Tell me that. Give me that, at least. If he won’t love me. Tell me my love has changed him.
But Niamh was not in the business of comforting me. Breeze ruffled the plants of Niamh’s garden. They needed an umbrella up here. One of those tarps that could shield the sun. Give a girl something to hide behind.
“I was a lot like you when I was young,” Niamh said and I actually laughed. “No, it’s true. I came from a good family. I had a good childhood. My da was involved in the troubles but he kept it quiet. I didn’t even know until I was in university. My ma called in the middle of the night, told me that he’d been taken. We didn’t hear from him again.”
“Niamh, I’m so sorry—”
She held up her hand, not interested in my sympathy. “That’s when I started getting involved. Looking for answers. Looking for trouble. Revenge. The whole time I was doing what girls like me are supposed to do. I got married and started a life. I even…” A bird flew overhead and she tracked it with her eyes. “I had a baby.”
Knots were forming in my stomach and I wanted to tell her to stop. We were full up with unhappy endings and I was trying to find a happy one.
“But I was slowly turning into a weapon,” she said. “A weapon to use against the English. I wasn’t born a weapon, I turned into one. I don’t need sympathy, Poppy. I made my choices and I live with my regrets.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because Ronan was told he was a weapon, from the moment he could be turned into one. He was told his only value was bloodshed. His only worth was mayhem. He didn’t make the choice, the choice was made for him when he was too young to have a say.”
“And you think if he had a choice, he wouldn’t make the same one.”
“I’ve seen the way he talks about you, how he looks at you. He married you for God’s sake and he wouldn’t take that lightly. I think that boy would kill himself to keep you safe. But it would be nice if people stopped asking him to do that.”
* * *
Ronan
None of my contacts, legal and otherwise knew anything about Bennington. And I hung up counting it as another dead end. I glanced at my watch and winced. Poppy went up to the roof garden, but this was when Niamh was usually up there. I opened the door to the apartment, to go up and make sure Niamh hadn’t made a meal out of Poppy—though, the way that girl was finding her fight, I’d imagine she’d give Niamh a run for her money.
Poppy was coming down the hallway, backlit by sunshine wearing a yellow sundress with ties at the shoulders. Her hair was in clips away from her face. I liked these new clothes of hers. Her new look.
“Any luck?” she asked. I stepped back into my apartment and she came in behind me. She smelled like sunshine and New York and expensive shampoo. Poppy.