I leave my hair to airdry as I rub on some La Mer face cream I found in the toiletry bag. As I’m brushing my teeth, Ben knocks on the door.
“Come in,” I say around the toothbrush.
He steps into his bathroom and his gaze immediately lands on me.
I shift on my feet as he takes me in, showered and fresh-faced.
“Good. You found something to wear,” he says, looking down to conceal a smile. I must look ridiculous in his clothes, but it’s not my fault he’s so tall.
He heads into his closet, presumably to change into pajamas. He closes the door, but not all the way, and in the mirror, I can see a sliver of his naked back as he undresses. Smooth tan skin so muscled and toned I momentarily get distracted from the task at hand. My toothbrush dangles in my mouth as he steps out of his pants, and then he looks over his shoulder and finds me staring. I blink and look away quickly, leaning forward to rinse my mouth and tap the water off my toothbrush.
When I finish and stand, he walks out of his closet in a low-slung pair of pajama pants, sans shirt. I watch him as he nears, trying to keep my attention off his bare chest, aware of the blood pulsing in my neck as he steps up behind me and drops his hand to my hip.
“Mind if I…?” He leans around me to get his toothbrush, but he doesn’t move me aside. He stands right behind me as he wets it, applies toothpaste, and starts brushing his teeth. His eyes meet mine in the mirror, and his expression is a little cheeky.
He’s aware of what he does to me, of course. I make no attempt to hide it. It’d be utterly in vain, anyway. I might as well revel in this moment, watch him all I want as he does an ordinary task while looking drop-dead gorgeous.
Once he’s finished, he rinses his mouth and dabs it with a towel. I stand there, waiting for him to lead me to the next activity.
“I should offer to take the guest bedroom and let you sleep in here alone, shouldn’t I?” he says as we walk back into his room.
“Please don’t.”
I understand why we’re not rushing straight into things. I know it’s been a long day and there’s still so much to discuss, but sleeping next to Ben is one of life’s simple pleasures, and I don’t want him to deprive me of it out of some needless sense of chivalrous obligation.
“It’s a big bed,” I add, as if that’s reason enough for him to stay.
He nods and we each take a side, tugging down the blankets. We climb up and settle in beside each other, separated and chaste. I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling for a moment, trying to be good before Ben turns out the light. In the dark, he reaches over and grabs hold of my hip under the blanket, tugging me toward him so I’m flush against his chest, my legs tangled with his. Neither one of us says a word. I’m too caught up in my own head, worrying about what this all means, trying to calm my heart so he doesn’t notice how erratically it’s beating because of him.
His arm circles my waist, keeping me still as we both start to settle and relax, growing comfortable with this closeness.
A few minutes pass, and I think he’s drifting off to sleep then he whispers in the dark, “I didn’t want to leave you in Texas.”
My pulse quickens at the revelation.
“We could have made it work,” he insists.
I shift and lean back, trying to find his face in the dark. My eyes have adjusted enough that I can barely make him out in the moonlight seeping in around the drapes.
“You had enough to focus on,” I whisper weakly. “Look at everything you had going on. You were flying to Tokyo for the Olympics, you were going through a divorce and becoming a father. The last thing you needed to worry about was a brand-new girlfriend.”
His finger traces circles on my hip. “Girlfriend.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course you’d only pay attention to that word.”
“I just like the way it sounds.”
“Don’t get distracted. I was making a really good point. You and I wouldn’t have worked out before.” I shake my head, sure of it. “Nan…it wasn’t pretty there for a while. I was going through a lot. She passed so quickly, and she didn’t leave me much. I had to pack up my life back in Texas yet again and get my head on straight…I wasn’t even sure they’d let me return to Caltech. I mean, thank god for Professor Olmsted…”
He digests all of that, and I think it might be the end of it until he continues, “I agree somewhat…it would have been hard, but we would have pulled through.”