“Night, Caleb.”
“Nigh, Ray-yin.”
I leave to give Ben a moment alone with his son, and when I walk back into the living room, I see Ben’s phone vibrate on the coffee table. It’s not an uncommon occurrence. After five minutes of being around him, anyone would realize there’s always someone trying to get in contact with him, no matter what time of day it is. Normally, he’s good about setting boundaries though.
I ignore it and take a seat on the couch. His phone vibrates again with another incoming text and then a phone call.
I don’t mean to look at the name on the screen. The fact is, it’s a vibrating phone and it’s drawing my attention, and now I see that “Lydia” is trying to get in contact with him and it’s not my fault, truly.
I force my gaze up to the ceiling as self-loathing immediately turns my happy mood into a sour one. What am I doing? I either trust Ben or I don’t. I can’t snoop on his phone! I can’t assume the worst of him!
I don’t recognize this version of myself.
I hate that I’m doubting Ben at all. I hate that I’ve let my chat with Eva weasel into my head and grow roots.
When Ben walks out of Caleb’s room and finds me on the couch, he stops and frowns when he sees my expression.
I’m sitting, gaze still on the ceiling, slumped back in shame.
“Birdie? What’s wrong?”
I cover my eyes with my hand so I don’t have to look at him as I come clean.
“I snooped on your phone by accident and saw someone named Lydia trying to contact you and I know it’s horrible—what I did—but you’d tell me if you were seeing other women too, right? I know we didn’t set parameters on our relationship, but I’m absolutely not willing to share you with other women. So whoever Lydia is…I don’t know, you need to send her packing.”
For a good long while, he doesn’t say jack diddly. I’m forced to peer at him from between my split fingers and am shocked to see he’s on the brink of laughter. He glances back and forth between me and his phone on the coffee table, clearly trying to wrap his head around all I’ve just said.
“Lydia?”
I nod.
His grin spreads wider. “That’s my manager’s assistant. She was probably calling to hound me about a contract I was meant to sign earlier this afternoon when we were watching Cars.”
My relief is short-lived. Shame overrides every single emotion.
“You really worked yourself up there,” he notes, bending down to pry my hand away from my face.
I squeeze my eyes closed.
“Birdie, look at me, will you?”
“I’d rather not. I’m waiting to die of embarrassment. It should happen any moment now.”
“What made you think I was seeing other women?”
I finally peel my eyes open to give him the truth. I suppose he’s owed that much after fielding my wild accusations. “Well…not to throw her under the bus, because I really don’t think she meant anything by it, but Eva and I were talking at your game in Oklahoma and she mentioned something about Brent…”
He sighs, seeming to follow where I’m going. “Brent is notoriously terrible at keeping his dick in his pants. The guy’s great on the court but an idiot when it comes to relationships.”
“Well she made it sound like it’s not just Brent, like all professional athletes have a hard time remaining faithful with all the options they have before them. It’s a veritable buffet of buxom blondes.”
“Well I only have eyes for one buxom blonde,” he teases, making me blush good and red.
He sits down on the couch beside me and tugs me close, wrapping his arms around my middle and squeezing me like a burrito when I don’t give in and cuddle him back.
“I’ve never cheated on any girlfriend except for in first grade when I kissed Kimberly Mathers on the playground after I agreed to go steady with Lisa Smith.”
“See? You’re bad to the bone, Ben. A heartbreaker through and through.”
He laughs and nuzzles his nose against my neck, trying to get me to wrap my arms around him. Eventually, he grows impatient and tugs me up onto his lap. I let him position me against his chest as we recline on his couch. He glides a hand up and down my back, gently reassuring me with his touch.
We stay like that for a bit as my cheek presses against his chest. I can hear the steady beat of his heart, and it soothes me. My finger draws circles on his shirt, just below his collarbone. We’re quiet for so long I almost jump when he speaks again.
“You know this isn’t some casual fling I’d toss away for a chance at a one-night stand.” His expression grows deeply serious as he cups my cheek and tilts it so his brown eyes can burrow into my soul as he smiles timidly and admits softly, “I love you, Birdie.”