Tears burned behind his eyes, but he blinked them away. “I can’t tell you how many nights I sat home alone, drinking more scotch than I ought to and indulging in self-pity. I worked insane hours, just to avoid having to feel anything. Your abrupt departure forced me to come to terms with what the hell I was doing with my life. I’m not so self-centered as to think you left only because of me. But your leaving brought clarity to my own feelings.”
She was watching him intently, her expression difficult to read.
“Before you disappeared,” he continued, “there was a part of me, one I barely admitted to myself, that envisioned a future with you in it. Once you’d gone, though, I understood how badly I’d miscalculated. But maybe, I told myself, maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe you had no idea I had feelings for you. After all, I’d done my best to hide them.
“To test the waters, I sent that stupid letter. But instead of writing what I really felt, I kept it superficial and casual. I told myself it was a way to see if there was anything left, without putting you on the spot. I told myself if I didn’t hear back from you, I’d let it go. I’d chalk this up to experience and move on with my life.”
He fixed her with an earnest gaze. “But I was lying to myself, Cleo. It was as if I was mourning all over again. Only this time, it was for something I’d never truly had.”
“Oh,” she said softly.
Jack’s heart gave a small leap. But when she said nothing more, he forced himself to continue. “After a while, it was all I could think about. You. Me. What we might have had if I hadn’t been so self-absorbed and stupid. I put in a vacation request and bought a ticket to the States. Not for work. Not for family—my parents aren’t even in the country at the moment. They’re on some European river cruise thing. No. I came for you. I needed to know if I’d manufactured that spark between us. I needed to find out if you had any feelings at all for me, after the way I’d kept you at arm’s length for so long. But when I got here, instead of having the balls to admit I’d screwed things up, I thought I’d play it cool. Mr. Über Dom, in full control.”
He shook his head. “I was so excited and hopeful during those two scenes that first night. But the way you dismissed me afterward…” He snorted in self-disgust. “I don’t really know what I was expecting.”
He laughed, a small, bitter chuckle. “You made it pretty clear that you were no longer interested or available. I suppose a lesser man, or should I say a more rational man, would have accepted defeat at that point. The auction thing was Hayden’s idea. And I have to admit, it was a tidy solution to make you a captive audience while I figured out if the passion we had shared during those two initial scenes was real, or just your consummate skill as a service slave and my wishful thinking.”
Cleo had turned her face away, though he could feel her listening. Gently, he reached for her shoulders, lifting and angling her so she was forced to look at him. “It was real, Cleo. Every step of the way over these past few days has confirmed in no uncertain terms what I prayed for in my heart. The spark is there between us. I didn’t make it up. You and me—our potential as Master and slave, as life partners—it’s real.”
He let her go but held her gaze. “You’re not a bad picker, Cleo. At least not when it comes to me. And if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll prove it to you.”
As he said these words, a new clarity came to him. While the contract had been a useful starting point, now it was nothing but a hindrance. If Cleo were only with him out of duty and obligation, the experience was nothing more than mutual masturbation.
“I release you, Cleo,” he said with finality. “I release you from the terms of the auction contract. And you know why? Because you’re already mine. With or without that contract, you belong to me.”
Stretching out beside her, he gathered her into his arms. Without giving her a chance to protest, he lowered his head to hers and placed his lips on hers. She resisted a little at first, but then surrendered to his kiss. As he claimed her with his mouth, he pressed his body along the length of her, his cock hardening against her soft skin.
The loneliness, loss and regret that had been weighing down his heart for so long lifted when her hands came up around him, circling his neck as they kissed.