I still didn’t understand why he’d waited so long to tell me. We’d been together for months now. “I’m not mad or anything…just in shock. It’s been a couple days, and I’m still…overwhelmed.”
“It’s heavy, honey.” Mom kept her hand on mine.
I stared at her affection before I looked at my dad again. “Now I understand why you’ve…basically adopted him.”
“That wasn’t why. At least, not initially. The first time he stepped into my office for an interview, I felt like I was speaking to a younger version of myself. A man on the cusp of greatness, a man determined to make the world a better place even though life has been so unkind to him. The attachment I feel toward him started in that moment. In the year he worked for me, I saw his brilliance firsthand, saw everything he was capable of. That was why I hand-selected him to work by my side. And in that time, I became more attached. It was like looking at myself thirty years ago. I definitely wanted to nurture him, to give him every asset he needed to find any kind of success he craved. I’ve been looking for the right person to take over when I retire, someone to carry the torch when my mind and body begin to fail. I’ve decided it’s him.”
Wow. “Does he know this?”
He nodded. “Yes. When he told me his father passed away, that was when I started to spend time with him outside of work. I knew exactly how he felt, had walked that path myself. I just didn’t want him to feel alone, like I’d felt alone many times. When I had Derek on my own, there were times I wanted to call and ask questions, but my dad wasn’t there. Atlas was resistant because he didn’t want my pity, but it wasn’t pity that drove me. It was more than that, a genuine affection. When I learned that he had no family at all, that the Subway Massacre had claimed their lives, that was when I really stepped it up. He became my adopted son without his consent. I imagine that his parents would be happy to know that he has me, and if that situation ever happened to my kids, I would hope that someone would step in and do the same.”
“Dad…”
Mom pulled her hand away and watched my father, like she was falling in love with him all over again. “It’s crazy to think that you didn’t want to be a father, but now that’s your entire identity. You don’t know how to be anything else besides a father…”
He looked down at the bowl of food and started to serve himself. “I’m not a father to anyone who needs it. Just the people I care about.”
Mom started to serve herself too.
For the first time in my life, I wasn’t hungry. “He lost his family tragically…and now he can’t make a family himself. God, that’s…fucking terrible. Dad, we’ve got to help him.”
“You know I’ll do everything I can,” he said. “But science only goes so far.”
The last few days had been spent in strained silence. Atlas and I spoke at the clinic, sticking to our patients, and after hours, we would have dinner and continue to work on the couch. Sex was off the table, as if neither one of us wanted it.
I just needed some time to get over what he’d told me.
“Atlas asked me to move in with him, and I said yes.”
Dad stilled at the announcement.
Mom immediately beamed, her smile brightening up the dining room. “What did I tell you…”
“Yes, Ma. You were right.”
Mom grinned. “Daisy Beaumont…sounds good.”
Dad remained still, staring at me for a long time.
I expected him to be happy about this, but he seemed undecided, like he didn’t know how to react. “Dad?”
He didn’t say anything.
“Um, I thought you would be thrilled about this.” He’d just gone on and on about loving Atlas like a son, basically.
He set down his fork and didn’t touch his food. “You need to talk to him about our plan before you move in together.”
“Why?”
“Because he has the right to know.”
“It won’t change anything.”
“You should still tell him, Daisy.”
“Okay, fine. I will.” But it would make no difference at all. He might be ticked off for a couple of days, but after some space, he would come back and be compliant. “But other than that, you’re happy, right?”
Dad grabbed his fork again and pushed his salad around, dipping it in the dressing.
I exchanged a look with my mom.
He took his time compiling his thoughts, his eyes still down. “If that’s what you want, then yes, I’m happy.”
“Well, you don’t sound happy. Derek and Dex both moved in with their partners before they got married, so—”
“That’s not the reason for my hesitance.”
“Okay… Care to enlighten me?”