Ashton Scott

Anger at myself.

Jack needed me and what the fuck was I doing? Screwing my way through Sydney and London, and pushing deals through faster than I could keep up half the time, rather than being there for someone I love more than myself.

Jack’s right.

What the fuck was it all for?

The foreign feelings I’ve been experiencing lately rear their ugly heads and I realise I’m going to need to take this anger and confusion back to the gym. Punching holes in my wall isn’t going to cut it.

5

Lorelei

“Have you heard from the dude you tried to have sex with after the wedding?” Sienna asks me late Thursday afternoon.

It’s been three days since I scurried from the guy’s hotel room, and I am more than thankful that I haven’t heard from him. I close my laptop and run my fingers through my hair while stretching my neck. “No, and I don’t want to.”

“Really?” The look she’s giving me tells me that she thinks I’m mad. “Lorelei, that guy was hot. Like, off-the-charts-I’d-do-him-in-a-heartbeat hot. Did you at least get his phone number?”

“No, because I’m not interested. The only reason I went to his room with him was because I was so drunk I wasn’t thinking straight. And then to fall asleep while he was… well, while he was doing what he was doing”—my cheeks flame while I recall what happened—“I was so embarrassed when he told me the next morning. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough and honestly, if he called me, I would probably die of embarrassment.”

Her mouth twitches and a moment later, she bursts out laughing. “You are too much, babe.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Why?”

She attempts to get her laughter under control, failing miserably. But she manages to splutter, “You can’t even say the words, ‘giving head’. God, you make me laugh.”

Pursing my lips, I say, “Clearly.” My cheeks still feel hot.

“And, who the hell falls asleep while a guy’s eating her out? Unless he was really bad at it?”

“Well, I’m obviously not the right person to ask about that because I can’t bloody remember.” I glare at her. “Can we please change the subject? I don’t want to rehash this disaster anymore.”

Her laughter subsides and her features soften. “Oh, babe, it’s not that bad. Why are you so embarrassed about it?”

I look down at my laptop for a moment, trying to ignore the feelings of not being worthy that are pushing their way into my head. Looking back up at her, I say, “You know how I don’t do one-night stands?” I wait for her nod before I proceed. “It’s because I feel dirty about them. Being a product of one, and not ever knowing who my father is turned me off them as soon as I understood what they were. Sex means more to me than a quick lay with someone I don’t care about. I’m embarrassed at my behaviour that night—not because I judge one-night stands, but because I did something I don’t believe in for myself.” God, I hope she understands where I’m coming from because I don’t care that other people—including Sienna—have casual sex. It’s just not for me.

I shouldn’t have worried, though, because she gives me a smile. After eleven years of friendship, she knows me better than anyone. “I get it. And for the record, you are the least judgy person I know.”

“Thank you,” I murmur.

“Okay, changing the subject, highs and lows. My high is that I’ve scored six new clients this week, and by the end of the week, I’m hoping to add at least one more. My low is that the guy who lives in the apartment next to mine still hasn’t noticed me. Not even when I was wearing the tightest dress ever yesterday. Ugh. Do you think he’s gay?”

She looks so depressed over the fact the guy hasn’t noticed her that I can’t help but laugh. Sienna’s a gorgeous woman with her always-immaculately-styled, long blonde hair and a body she works hard to keep in shape. She also spends hours on beauty, so she’s always dressed well with a full face of make-up. Either the guy is blind or gay. Or just not into hot blondes.

“Probably. I mean, who wouldn’t want you?”

Her depressed expression gives way to a huge smile. “This is why we are best friends. Now, hit me—give me your highs and lows.”

“Well, besides waking up in that hotel room on Monday, my encounter with Ashton Scott does not rate as a high. You know I hate doing lows, though, so I’m not going to call it as one. My high would have to be the fact I booked my flight to Hawaii.” I’ve wanted to visit Hawaii for as long as I can remember. The trip I have planned will tick a few items off my bucket list.

“You haven’t heard from Ashton again, have you?”

“No, I think perhaps he got the message.” Just thinking about him stirs feelings I don’t want. Damn him. As much as he annoyed me, I’ve thought about him a few times this week, and some of those thoughts have been about his ass and his eyes and that voice…. Argh!

Enough.

Focus, Lorelei.