Ashton Scott

* * *

Lorelei is in the shower when I get home. I want nothing more than to strip and join her, but I know we aren’t in that place today. She can hardly look at me, let alone fuck me. So I lie on the bed and wait for her, doing my best to ignore the way my dick gets harder with every passing minute.

Fuck.

I can’t do it. I can’t let this divide grow any deeper between us. And the best way I know to stop that is to touch her. The way she responded to my kiss earlier is all the evidence I need to know this. We may have some problems to work through, but I refuse to allow them to come between our sex life.

Pulling my shirt over my head, I drop it on the bed and make my way into the bathroom. Steam warms my skin as I finish stripping out of my clothes. Lorelei’s eyes meet mine as I step in the shower, and I suck in a breath at what I find there.

She doesn’t want this.

“Ashton,” she says. Her voice is soft, but it holds a warning. “I’m nearly finished.”

Every emotion I’ve felt today unleashes itself inside me, but the dominant one is fear. Fear of losing Lorelei. There’s no fucking way I will let that happen, so I take charge of this situation before it gets out of control.

Moving toward her, I say, “Don’t shut down on me, Lorelei. Not now. Not ever. Just because we’ve got things that still need to be worked through, doesn’t mean I won’t touch you. I will always want you, regardless of everything else.”

She gasps as I cage her in and take hold of her waist. Hands to my chest, with water streaming down her body, she says, “I can’t get lost in you, and I know I will if—”

I put a finger to her lips. “I will make sure we finish the conversation we started earlier, but there is no way I’m not having you now. We need this.” God, how we fucking need this.

The sex I’ve had with other women in the past never meant what sex with Lorelei means to me. With her, it draws me closer. It helps me crack her open a little more each time. It reveals pieces of her I can’t help but love and want more of. Time together and conversations may help me get to know her, but sex is the key to unlocking that part of her she isn’t even in touch with. And I will do anything to touch that part of her, because when she surrenders to it, she gives me everything. She hands me her heart and tells me it’s mine to keep for as long as I want. And I fucking want it forever.

She pushes harder against my chest, an apology in her eyes. “No, we don’t. Sex is the last thing we need right now.”

And with that, she moves out of my hold and exits the shower. I’m left staring after her, wondering how the hell we got here. And how the hell I can fix it.

50

Lorelei

I lie quietly on my side of the bed and stare out the window of Ashton’s bedroom. It’s just past seven this morning and I’ve barely had three hours sleep. I know Ashton hasn’t slept much either. After my shower last night, we argued again and didn’t get anywhere. After an hour of going back and forth, each of us getting worked up, I told him I was going to bed. In the spare room. He fought me over that, and in the end, I agreed to stay in here with him. He’d gone downstairs to his office while I went to bed. It’s been a long night of an unbearable silence between us, and I’m not looking forward to today.

The bed shifts as he leaves to go into the bathroom. A moment later, the shower starts, and I let the breath I’ve been holding out.

I need to find a way to fix this between us, because my heart hurts too much with the way things are going. Maybe I’m expecting too much from him and being too demanding. Having never dated a man like Ashton, I’m not used to dealing with his kind of needs in a relationship. He is who he is, and I didn’t start dating him just so I could then try to change him. And after a lot of thinking during the night, I’ve come to see that everything he does is to help me. It’s my insecurities getting in the way, and that is something only I can work on. That’s not on Ashton.

I leave the bed with the intent to join him in the shower and call a truce. As I walk past his dresser, though, his phone rings. I know he’s concerned about his mother, so I check to see if it’s her calling. It’s not. My stomach drops when I see Cassia’s name flashing on the screen. I know she’s probably calling in relation to his mother, but I don’t like her being close with Ashton like this again

. Not that I think they’re close, but the number of times they’ve interacted recently seems to be increasing.

That makes me nervous.

Unsure.

I know it’s stupid, because Ashton has made it more than clear he’s over her, but still, I can’t shake my feelings.

The ringing stops and a text comes through almost straight away. I know it’s an invasion of his privacy, but I read it. I justify it to myself that maybe her message is urgent, but even I don’t buy that reason.

I’m snooping.

Spying on him.

And when I read the message, I wish I hadn’t.

Cassia: I’m sorry I kissed you last night, but you can’t ignore the fact you felt it too. Call me.

With shaky hands, I place the phone down, but another text comes through, and I’m unable to resist reading it. It’s like a train wreck I can’t look away from.