Where to Woo a Bawdy Baron (Romancing the Rake 3)

She pressed her lips together. “I am sad for you currently. That’s no way for a little boy to grow up.”

He looked down into her delicate features, her eyes brimming with tears, her lips puffy and damp. He wanted to kiss her again. He wished to hold her tight and never let her go. Every protective instinct in him welled in his lungs, filling him with a powerful need to touch her, hold her close. Damn, he realized that he loved her.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her mouth, wishing to drink this moment in and hold on to it forever. No woman had ever made him feel so full, so whole as she did. No wonder he’d been drawn to her. He was like a moth to a fire.

She stepped out of his embrace but grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the bed. “What are you doing?” he asked, planting his feet. She jerked to a stop as she turned back to look at him.

“I’ve understood everything you’ve said. I know we can’t get married, we’re not starting a family, and we don’t have a future. It likely wasn’t fair of me to get angry at all. You were honest from the first. I only got upset because,” she stopped, her cheeks filling with color, “I didn’t realize that touching you would make me so emotional.”

“Oh sweetheart.” He’d forgotten that might happen too. He’d touched so many women and felt so little she’d caught him completely unaware. “I understand.”

She drew in a breath. “I wanted you to touch me. Don’t misunderstand. I felt more confident, more knowledgeable, but then I started to feel connected to you and I don’t know how to make myself stop.”

“Please,” he said. He’d never in his life wished harder to be someone else. He’d give anything to be the man who gave her the life she deserved.

She shook her head. “Listen. You’ve given me a gift. You helped me to see myself differently and I want to give that back to you. I can’t give myself to you. You know I have to save myself for another, but I can still hold you close. Soothe just a bit of that hurt.”

He drew in a shuddering breath as he watched her cross to the bed and peel back the covers. She sat down and then slipped her bare feet under the blankets, sliding over to the far side so to make room for him.

He stared at her, indecision making him still

as a statue. He desperately wanted to climb in next to her, hold her close, feel her pressed against him. But he also knew that each of these intimate steps they took made it harder to disengage. She was right. They were both growing attached.

He closed his eyes. At least she understood. He’d take tonight. Hold her in his arms and then tomorrow, he’d have to let her go. Difficult since he was attending a dinner here. “Just for tonight?”

She gave a tentative nod. “Tonight.”

“Tomorrow, we have to stop touching and holding one another.”

“Tomorrow,” she repeated. Then she patted the bed next to her. He crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed to take off his boots. She began tracing the scars again. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes.” He kicked off the second shoe and slid between the covers. He didn’t fancy sleeping with his pants on, but then again, he wouldn’t join her without them. Rolling over, he settled Bianca against his body, cradling her head in the crook of his shoulder.

“Have you ever hurt a woman?” Her voice trembled as she stroked a hand down his bare chest.

He swallowed hard. “No.”

“Have you ever wanted to?” She lifted her head to look in his eyes. “We’ve already established we don’t have a future. You’ll leave soon and then we might never see each other again. You can tell me the truth.”

That made him ache. Not because of what he was about to say was a lie but because he appreciated her kindness and caring so much. “No. I’ve never considered it.”

She nodded, settling her head back on his shoulder. “I didn’t think so.” Then she snuggled deeper into his side. “You’re quite comfortable.”

He chuckled at that as he brushed a few strands of her hair back. He wasn’t certain how long passed but eventually she fell asleep. He leaned down and brushed featherlike kisses on her temple and cheeks. He’d fight sleep for as long as he could just to lie here and gaze at her. “I love you,” he softly whispered. “Which is why I have to let you go. I hope someday you understand.”

* * *

Bianca woke the next day to find herself in bed alone. Disappointment marred her brow as she rose up on an elbow to see her balcony door closed. What time had Chris left?

She swallowed down a lump. Would he even come to the dinner tonight? The way they’d left things, she didn’t expect he would. Her heart ached when she thought of the way he’d been hurt. But she supposed her heart ached a bit for herself too. He kept mentioning she deserved a better man, but she didn’t want another man. She wanted him. In fact, she was fairly certain that she was in love with him.

After rising, she crossed the room and parted the curtains and looked out at the sparkling blue of the ocean. How could the world be so sunny and bright when inside, she felt dark and grey? She’d found a man to occupy her heart and he didn’t wish to be there.

She dressed and went down to breakfast. Her sisters chattered away but her father had already left for his office.

She considered speaking with Ophelia, Bianca needed to confide in someone, but she wasn’t certain her sister was the correct choice. After all, she was in love. Her father had loved and lost and he’d know better how to handle a fragile heart.

With that in mind, she finished eating and left her home to start down the path to the village. The wind teased her hair but the sun was warm, proving it would be another beautiful spring day.