“And ye were angry with the lord because like so many, he could, but has chosen not to put in infirmaries or hire more doctors.”
“And my father,” she gulped down her pain. “I love him, of course, but he kept insisting my mother was fine. That she would recover. It blinded him to the truth and I was so angry at him for it.”
She nodded against his side. “I know you’re not like that Stone. And I know he didn’t mean to be either. He loved her.” She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “But I was fed up with hard-headed men. My father, the men who run this country. Why don’t the lairds invest in the very people who make them rich?”
Stone’s hand came to her back. “I dunnae ken why the lords of Scotland can’t see that.”
“When I heard the rumors about you, I assumed they were true. It had always been my experience. I know differently, now.” She lifted her head again, pain making her chest tight. “Say that you’ll forgive me.”
He didn’t look at her as he held her. “We’ll marry, Eliza.
I’ve already made the promise and given you the ring.”
That should have been a relief. But she noted that he hadn’t actually said that he’d forgiven her.
Chapter Fifteen
Stone knew that he’d hurt her by not saying the words. But he couldn’t make them come out of his mouth. His entire life, people had misjudged him. It didn’t matter how many good deeds he did, how many people he helped. To think the one person who’d be closest to him had thought the same. Well, that wound pained him from the inside out. And he couldn’t make it heal in a day.
She fell asleep against his side. Only after her soft breath had evened out did he kiss the top of her head.
Her scent, like summer flowers, surrounded him and he closed his eyes allowing himself to slip into its sweet oblivion. He didn’t want silly, thoughtless words to affect him so but he couldn’t help it.
He’d wanted her to be different. To be more. He wished she had seen him for who he was not the rumors.
Despite his disappointment, he also couldn’t change the feelings that had grown or his family’s need for her. He’d just have to try and overcome it.
He finally fell asleep but woke after a few hours and slipped from the room.
He didn’t even bother to go to his own. He’d never sleep now. Instead, he headed for his office and began the never-ending work that waited for him.
He spent the morning with Allister. The man gave him several looks but didn’t ask about Eliza or the engagement. It was one of the reasons he liked Allister so much. Allister understood the power of silence. But when food was delivered at noon, Stone ripped off a hunk of bread and sat back in his chair.
“In terms of the wedding, I think it would be best to have it in the fall. I know it’s a ways away but considering the losses we’ve both suffered, I think it best.” Though it was a good enough reason, it wasn’t the actual one. The truth was he needed time. Marriage required intimacy and he wasn’t sure he was ready to go there with her again so soon after what had happened.
Allister nodded. “Sounds good.” Then the man leaned forward. “Eliza can be a bit hard-headed, but she has a good heart.”
Stone stopped chewing. “Ye needn’t give me a list of her virtues. We’re already engaged.”
Allister’s lip turned down on one side. “Except that you seemed upset yesterday and I would hate to think of the two of you not understanding each other—”
Stone did not want to hear any of it. “I understood perfectly.”
“Eliza didn’t do that to your face did she?”
Stone sat back in his chair. “Is Eliza prone to beating men?”
It was Allister’s turn to look surprised. “Of course not. I just noted some tension yesterday and today you look worse than when you fought the pirates.”
He chuckled. “This was from my brother, Blair. Letting off steam, but I’ve decided to have him train the sailors to better ward off pirate attacks. He has a knack fer it.”
Allister relaxed. “That he does.” Setting his food to the side, Allister leaned forward again. “I can’t tell you how glad I am you and Eliza will wed. I’ve been worried what might happen to her if I were gone. She’d have no one.”
Stone grimaced. The thought of Eliza being alone in the world unsettled him as well. “She’ll help me too. She’s good with the crowds. She’ll help stop some of the rumors and it would seem she’ll aid in the charity work.”
Allister nodded. “She’s especially interested in the building of schools and infirmaries. Perhaps, she could assist you with those now.”
Despite his anger with Eliza, that did sound like a blessing. Even if he didn’t want to forgive her yet, he could acknowledge that a partner would help share his burden. “I’d like that.”