What a Vulgar Viscount Needs (Romancing the Rake 5)
Page 23
That made him pivot toward her. “You said you haven’t come to any conclusions. Tell me, what are you worried about?”
One delicate shoulder rose. “All sorts of things. Once I choose a path, I can’t undo it. Not this one.”
He gave his head a tiny shake. Should he be relieved or afraid? It was almost as though she’d read his thoughts. “True. What are you worried you’ll regret?”
She looked down at her hands. “I want my music. More than anything. But to give up intimacy forever…” She drew in a breath. “I know I said I was fine with a single kiss but watching Juliet…”
He grimaced. She had every right to feel that way. His gut clenched. He wished he could give her that. She deserved it. “I understand. Do you think another husband would be open to you pursuing music?”
She nibbled at her lip. “Unlikely.”
Relief washed through him. He hated to admit that he’d grown rather attached to the idea of marrying her. Which was all wrong. The entire point was to avoid such feelings. He had the vague sense that the entire situation was spinning out of control.
“With me, you can have your music, the front of a successful match for your family, and—”
She held up her hand. “The problem with a front, as you called it, is that I actually feel a…” She stopped, looking into the room as she reached for his hand and pulled him into the shadows. “I allowed you to kiss me last night. Can we really keep up a front at all, especially when we’re living together?”
He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “We should discuss this in a more private setting. Meet me in our spot at midnight.” Then he stepped back into the light. What was he doing?
Being alone with her again was a terrible idea for so many reasons. First, she grew closer to uncovering his past every time they talked. And second, he was trying to avoid intimacy with her, not promote it. But she also needed convincing.
And if he were honest, not that he wanted to be, he’d like to hold her again.
“I’m not sure…” She frowned as she followed him back into the lit and visible section of the balcony.
He tried to calm his racing heart. It thrummed at the very idea of being alone with her. “As I said to you this morning. This can only work if we’re clear on the rules. Perhaps agreeing to some might ease your worries.” The rules wouldn’t ease his. Even now, he had the distinct urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless.
She nodded slowly. “That does make sense. Knowing where we each stand would be helpful.”
“And we can’t do that under your family’s watchful gaze.” He nodded into the music room where no less than three sets of eyes watched them on the balcony.
She gave a tentative nod. “That makes sense. I’ll meet you at midnight.” And then she slipped back through the doors.
Ash followed, the group already toasting to the new couple. He took a glass of champagne but hardly drank. Last night had been enough for him and besides, he needed to keep his wits about him now.
Cordelia also took a glass, but he noted she didn’t drink either. Instead, she crossed to her pianoforte and struck up a tune that had the whole group dancing.
It was lively, effortless, and fun in a way that stole his breath. Everything about this woman was beautiful.
He didn’t attempt to engage her for the rest of the evening. Just watching her play was exquisite torture. Never had he wanted to touch someone so much. But also, he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt such beauty.
The evening wore on, and to his relief, the entire family indulged in a fair bit of champagne. He quirked his brow. They had decided to hold Juliet’s wedding the following day. That made him laugh. The morning was going to be painful.
At quarter till twelve, he watched Cordelia stand from the bench and say her goodnights. She gave him a single glance as she left the room.
He kicked his feet out, as though he didn’t have a care in the world. As though he weren’t going to wait fifteen minutes and follow her. Best not to arouse suspicion yet.
The clock ticked by agonizingly slow as he waited and then finally slipped from the room, staying outside the door, listening to see if anyone missed him. They didn’t.
He crept down the stairs, through the ballroom and out into the garden. While he’d been to the spot twice, the layout was intricate and he worried that he might not find the spot.
“Ash,” her voice called from the shadows, making his trousers heavy as the blood pooled in his manhood.
“Cordelia,” he replied, his voice rough and harsh.
She stepped from the deep shadow, reaching for his hand. Her small fingers slid into his, making his muscles tense as she pulled him down a dark path. “This probably isn’t the best place for us to go. My entire family knows it’s my favorite.”
“They don’t suspect a thing. They’re busy planning Juliet’s wedding.”