“Not even McKenzie? The two of you never…” He let his words trail off.
Her mouth dropped open in an O. Then, she shook her head. “No, never. The only time there was anything physical was when he tried to kiss me and I refused to let him.” She shook her head. “It’s strange but he was far more concerned with my public behavior. How I appeared to the world than with our actual relationship. Every time he beat me, it was because I had made some social error or said something he didn’t like in front of others.”
That made him pause, his gut clenching as nausea rose like bile into his throat. “Every time? You mean it wasn’t the one time?”
Tears glistened in her eyes as swiped at them. “No, it wasn’t the one time.”
“How many?” He didn’t know why it was important but he needed to know. He swallowed a lump in his throat and forced his breathing to remain even.
“Five,” she answered as she nibbled at her lip. “Why?”
“I am
going to take each of those out of his hide,” he rumbled.
“No, that’s not yer fight.” She touched his chest. “I want ye to ken that I’m not afraid of ye. But I can’t kiss ye like that, Blair.”
A feral noise of dissent made his chest vibrate and she pulled her hand away again. But he placed it over his heart, covering it with his own. “Why not?”
“I need to keep my head.” Her brows scrunched in the middle. “Not just for myself, but for Ailean and for ye. I have to make decisions based on what is reasonable, not on emotional attachment.”
Blair was silent for a moment. He understood. Some part of him knew she was right. He also had very sound reasons for not taking their relationship any further. But as she looked up at him, he wanted to take all those sound rationalizations and toss them into the waves. Then, he wanted to hold her close to him and kiss her for hours. “You don’t want an attachment.”
“So you understand that I need to be your employee? That I must work off the debt and that this should be a business arrangement? That way I can protect us from—”
“Love,” Blair let the single word slip out and Elle stopped talking, her mouth dropping open. “I could say that I took ye south to protect my investment. But that isn’t the truth. I care about yer safety. I am attached to ye whether I intended it or not.”
She snapped her mouth closed but her large eyes glistened with wetness. “I don’t ken what tae say.”
“Ye don’t have tae say anything. I’m not asking ye to give me anything other than what ye already have but I want ye to ken that I’ll keep ye safe no matter what.”
“Thank ye,” she turned away from him. Staring at the land as they moved closer. “Ye’ve done more than I could ever have hoped for. Ye have my gratitude.”
Somehow, her gratitude irritated him. Confusion over her feelings was fine. A need to protect her heart pulled at his own emotions. But just being grateful? Well, that made him angry. He wanted an emotional reaction from her not some platitude. He stepped back, straightening his shoulders. “Yer welcome.”
She turned to him then, her brows drawing together. “I’ve upset you.”
He didn’t answer. “We’ll be arriving soon. Do you have anything ye’d like to collect from the cottage?”
“Yes please,” she answered.
“Would ye like tae make a list or do ye think ye can make the journey?”
He watched her tongue dart out to lick her lips. He didn’t want to find it alluring but somehow he couldn’t take his eyes off her mouth as she spoke. “I can make it. I’m nearly healed.”
“Fine,” he turned and without a glance back, walked away.
Elle watched him leave. What had she said? She ran through the conversation but could find nothing amiss in her words. The beach came into view and she welcomed the familiar sight.
“Hello,” a man said behind her. She thought for a moment it was Blair, but there was something different in its tone and as she turned, she saw his brother standing behind her.
“Hello.”
“Pardon my intrusion but I couldn’t help noticing that my brother nearly stomped off.” Will stepped next to her.
She quickly snapped her mouth closed, realizing it had fallen open. The Sinclairs were direct. “If you’re hoping for me to explain, I’m afraid I can’t. I was just trying to understand myself.”
Will chuckled. “You’ll make a fine Sinclair.”