Kilted Sin (Brethren of Stone 3)

She took a breath, trying to soften her voice. “You don’t want me forever. I can promise you that.”

His head snapped back. “Why wouldn’t I?”

She sat up, pushing him away. It wasn’t that she needed distance from him but her thoughts were a jumbled mess. “I think I’ve proven that I don’t make a very good wife. And you deserve the best.”

He stood, his arms crossing. “Oh really. Is that the truth or is the truth that you want Mary’s land?”

Anger burned behind her eyes. Gemma stood too. “Mary’s land?” she asked, barely able to conceal her outrage. “Why is it Mary’s land? I am his legal wife.”

“How do ye ken that? They contacted you because of the letter he carried. But that doesn’t actually prove he hadn’t done this before. And I call it Mary’s land because she has worked it. Borne children on it, cried her tears into it.”

Her fists clenched. That made Gemma spitting mad. “Does that make your land the old laird’s? All ye did so far was pay money.”

His chest puffed out. “I might as well tell ye now that even if ye kick Mary off the property, the lease ends in a month. I won’t renew it for ye. It’s not meant for ye, Gemma.”

Those words were like a whip, snapping her head back. She hit her own thigh with her closed fist. He was taking Mary’s side and leaving her with no option. “Get out,” she said, taking a step back.

She looked at him, wondering if he understood her. How could he, of all people, rob her of the one thing she’d always wanted and give it to Mary?

“Don’t be like that.” He reached his hand for her. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I just need ye to understand that yer meant to be by my side and not working a field in a croft.”

Tears blurred her eyes. She wanted to believe that but Mary had already taken one man from her and she was about to get another. Gemma had to protect herself. “You don’t understand. I have to be in a field in a croft. Or a laundress, or, at best, a nanny. I was never meant to be a wife and certainly not your wife.”

“Not my wife?” His voice dropped low as his brows drew together, his face drawing in on itself. “I see.”

“I wish this situation could be different. I wish I could be different.” She did step toward him then. Something had shifted, and he was pulling away from her, though he hadn’t moved a muscle. She tried to reach out to him then. But he moved out of range. Withdrawing her hand, she winced. “Don’t ye see, I’m not meant—”

“Are ye sure that ye wish things were different?” he asked. His voice was hard and rough. Then he did step back, moving away from her toward the door.

She cocked her head to one side, honestly confused. “Who else would it be?”

He gave a shrug. “Maybe ye don’t want the children. Or maybe ye don’t want me. Perhaps I’m not successful enough. Who knows what ye really think, and I’m not sure I’d blame ye, my whole life could come crashing down.”

She gave her head a vigorous shake. “Will. That isn’t it at all. It’s not that. Sean, he woke up one day and decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.” She couldn’t say the other part. The part where she admitted deep down that he’d left because she couldn’t give him a family. It hurt too much. Or that Mary seemed to win every battle because she was a better woman. “I’d die inside if that happened again.”

He shuddered then. “I’m sorry Gemma. Yer right. I’m pushing too hard. Ye need time. I understand that.”

Gemma let out a little sigh, relief washing through her. “Will, ye’re are the best man I’ve ever met. Please understand that I will never love another the way I do you.”

Chapter Fourteen

He gave his head a shake. Gemma’s words should have filled him with joy. She was admitting that she loved him. “I love you too,” Will said, a trace of sadness in his voice.

But all he could feel was sick dread. Somehow that made it all the wor

se. She knew she loved him and yet was certain they couldn’t marry.

Oh sure, she’d said it was her and maybe it was. But deep down, if he were really the right man for her, wouldn’t she marry him? She didn’t want to admit that he wasn’t good enough.

Will couldn’t blame her. After her last husband had left her alone and without money or a way to earn it, she must want a man who was established and could care for her. Not one like him.

No wonder she still wanted the land.

He could just see taking Gemma and the children to live with his brother, Stone. A failure to be seen by his old and new family. Scrubbing his face with his hands, he felt her touch on his forearm. “Then why do you look so sad?”

“What does love matter if we don’t have a future?” He dropped his hands. “I’m not putting pressure on ye. If ye need time to think it over, I understand. But if ye’re absolutely certain that ye don’t want to marry me ever, then I’m not sure what we’re doing. I don’t need an answer now but I need to ken that ye’re at least considering a future.”

Her mouth opened and then it closed again. Slowly she took her hand off of his arm. “Will,” she started. “I’d stay with ye forever, but I won’t marry ye. It’s a line I can’t cross.”