“I shouldn’t have let him get to me like that.”
“No.” I grab her face so that she can see how entirely wrong she is. This is not her fault. “Don’t blame yourself for anything. He kissed you. He touched you. However you reacted, is perfectly acceptable. He was in the wrong, not you.”
She nods, but her eyes say she doesn’t agree with me.
I frown. I don’t know how to get through to her. “You’re plenty strong. You don’t have to punch every guy that hurts you, though. That’s why you have me.”
A tear falls down her cheek. I rub it when it hits my thumb.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” I say, pulling her into my lap so that I can hold her as firmly as I want.
She starts bawling, and I don’t understand. Larkyn is fierce, strong, invincible. She didn’t cry when her father said she was worthless. She didn’t cry when she was in agonizing pain in the hospital. She didn’t cry when she injured her leg. But she’s crying now. Full sobs. That man was way out of line, but it was just a kiss. I don’t understand why she would be this upset.
And then it hits me. Larkyn was raped. Of course, a man touching her without her permission would upset her.
I hold her tighter, hating that I put her in this position, and didn’t immediately try to protect her.
“His name is Nathan Watts.”
I slowly ease back so that I can look at her as she speaks. “You know him?”
She nods and swallows like it’s hard to get the next words out. “He was…he raped me.”
My eyes widen, and my body chills as she speaks. I should talk. Say something. But now I’ve lost the ability to speak.
“We used to date. Freshman year. It was serious. I was madly in love with him.”
Now my heart has stopped. Because it feels like someone has stabbed me when she mentions loving another guy, yet doesn’t ever want to love me.
“But I was young. I wanted to take things slowly. Nathan was a senior. I was a freshman. I didn’t want to jump into bed with him. We dated two months before I was ready.”
I narrow my eyes, not understanding how it ended so badly if she was in love with this guy. How she was even still a virgin when I had her.
“Nathan was taking me to a party. I think it might have even been one of your parties. Anyway, I got all dressed up and decided that night was the night. We went to dinner, stopped by the party for about five minutes, and then he took me back to his apartment.”
I nod, needing to hear the end of this story more than I need to breathe.
“And then, I changed my mind. It just didn’t feel right. I wanted to wait a little longer. I said I’d had too much to drink, which was true, and I felt sick. I didn’t want my first time to be when I was drunk.
“Nathan disagreed. He wouldn’t stop. I fought for about five seconds before I grew still. I couldn’t move. Or breathe. I didn’t even tell him to stop.”
She looks me in the eye. “Just like tonight.”
“No.” I stroke her again, feeling her wet, tear-stained cheeks. “You did not have to say no. He knew that you didn’t want him to kiss you. Just like he knew you didn’t want to have sex with him. This is not your fault.”
She nods and smiles as a tear falls down her cheek again. And I can’t help myself. She’s so beautiful. She thinks she’s weak right now, but I’ve never seen her stronger.
I lean down and kiss her tenderly on the lips, as the tears that have fallen over her cheeks cover her mouth. The tears continue, and I know I need to stop. This isn’t what she needs right now. She needs comfort, not a man to grope her.
I pull back. “I’m sorry.”
She sucks in a breath, and I think she’s going to start bawling again, or yell at me for kissing her when she needed me to be her friend.
Her body tenses.
Fuck, I screwed up.
Her arms grab my cheeks, and her lips attack mine. Her tongue pushes into my mouth. Her body lands on mine.