There are so many truths to choose from. So many from my past that frighten me, including one that I’m afraid will change the course of my life forever.
I’d rather him rape or torture me than make me tell the truth. I’d do anything to avoid my past.
Langston knows that better than anyone.
As much as I’m all talk, telling him to rape me and get it over with, I don’t want him to hurt me. I’ll do anything to avoid being hurt by Langston, because I remember the boy I used to care about, buried beneath his brawny exterior. Knowing that boy grew up to be a true killer is more than I can stand.
So I’ll try to tell the truth. I’ll try to gain more time. I’ll try to hunt for my freedom and hope that Langston doesn’t kill me.
An idea forms as I sit across the fire. I tremble from a combination of
the cold and my fear. If it keeps me safe from Langston, then I’ll do almost anything to make that happen.
Langston is being relatively nice at the moment, but there is nothing he isn’t capable of. The darkness in his heart rivals my own. Everyone may think I got out, that I’m no longer mixed up in the underworld, but they don’t know all the horrible things I’ve done since.
Langston is the same. And right now, I’m his prey.
I won’t let him hurt me.
He’s sitting on a log across from me. He thinks he’s more powerful sitting higher than me, but he just gave me the ammunition to fire back and win.
“The first night I was raped…” I start.
“Telling me about your rapes won’t earn you your freedom, but if you want a free counseling session, be my guest. I’ll enjoy listening to all the ways you were abused. It will give me lots of ideas on how to break you.”
His words are harsh and villainous. I just wish I knew if they were true or not. His words are meant to strike fear into me, but there is nothing physical he could do to me that would make me tremble quite as much as I am now.
“Will you shut up? You want a truth, then let me tell the story.”
“One more thing,” he says.
“You don’t get to add addendums to our deal now.”
He leans forward, closer to the fire, and the flames reflect in his eyes as if the fire is coming from his eyes, not the pit.
I gasp at the evil I see reflected back at me.
“You aren’t in control, huntress. You never were. You are lucky I’m giving you a way out at all. I could just torture the truth out of you and then kill you. That would be easier.”
“You would never kill me,” I call out his lie.
“Things have changed. You aren’t someone I care about anymore. The Liesel I once knew is gone.”
“That she is,” I agree, my voice stronger than I feel.
“If you lie, instead of telling me the truth, if you tell a truth you’ve already told before, I will punish you.”
“You’ll punish me if I’m silent.”
His eyes disappear back into the darkness, but I know my words are true. It doesn’t matter. He’ll hurt me, drive fear into me, all so that he can get power over me. He may say he’s only hurting me to get info, but he’ll enjoy every second of it.
“Continue with your story if you dare, but know what awaits you if you lie.”
I want to move closer before I open my mouth. I want to be able to read all of his expressions. But I dare not move closer. If I move at all, I’ll lose my resolve and won’t tell my story.
No, I won’t let the fear win. I haven’t been afraid of anything in years. I won’t start now.
I stand up. I won’t move closer to Langston, but I’ll stand taller as I speak. I have power. I have strength. And this story is the start of that.